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9 Shameful Local Commercials Featuring Pro Athletes

by: Howard Cosmell On  Thursday, December 2, 2010

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One of the best things about sports is that provides opportunities for moments of greatness. There are hundreds of memorable game winning shots, passes, home runs and goals that are engrained into the public conscious and will be for years to come. However, there are also moments of shame that are also great. Striking out with the bases loaded, bricking a shot at the buzzer, and God interfering and making a Buffalo wide receiver drop a game winning touchdown pass. These are equally memorable.

Moments such as these take place on the playing field and can swing either way, depending on how lucky or unlucky the athlete happens to be. However, when it comes to saying yes to a local TV spot, the athlete has a choice. They don’t have to agree to embarrass themselves, but in many cases they do. Here are nine of those cases:

9. Bronson Arroyo
Wanna see mediocre starting pitcher Bronson Arroyo say sh*t? Click the video below to see a commercial that can only air during late-night hours on cable.

8. Scottie Pippen
In a commercial loaded with phallic imagery Scottie Pippen plays the role of Mr. Submarie, a man that comes across an erect six-footer that he can’t handle one-on-one, then solicits the help of a couple of ladies for a group session. Don’t believe me? Watch and tell me what you think?

7. Carson Palmer
If you thought Scottie Pippen’s c*ck commercial was bad, check out Carson Palmer’s version. He compares the size of his sausage to that of an average Joe working the grill and puts him to shame!

6. Jason Campbell
This is just one in a series of incredibly racially insensitive commercials for Eastern Motors, a car dealer that will never have much success selling to the Native American community but clearly has another race in mind to market their product to. Do yourself a favor and type “Eastern Motors” into a YouTube search and enjoy the litany of commercials featuring various Redskins players taking part in salting the wounds of the Injun population.

5. Jerry Smith & Walt Rock
Speaking of Redskins, I am not sure who Jerry Smith and Walt Rock were but they do have some amazing on screen chemistry going that makes Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie’s new movie trailer look like Gigli II.

4. Mickey Mantle
In 1976 “The Mick” had a serious drinking habit to fund and not much saved up to pay for it, so his loss was the athlete’s foot industry’s gain. Standing in between two giant, fungus infected feet is no way for a Hall of Famer to depict himself. Shame on you Mickey.

3. Leodis McKelvin
Apparently Leodis either couldn’t memorize his lines or is incapable of speaking. Or maybe Dave and Adam are just glory hogs who refused to share their lines with him. Whatever the case, this is just awful.

2. Mike Scioscia
Based on the way the Angels played this season, this depiction of Scioscia’s in-game management may not be that far from the truth.

1. Jonathan Ogden
Seriously? Am I supposed to watch this commercial and feel safe that if I wreck my car, this company is going to pay my claim? I hope you cashed that check fast Ogden because it may be the only one Gebco ever wrote that actually paid out.




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