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15 Hottest Premiere League WAG’s

by: Howard Cosmell On  Thursday, March 3, 2011

If you like models, pseudo-popsingers, and reality TV contestants, then this list is your Woodstock. In England, WAGs (wives and girlfriends) are a special class of citizen, equal parts celebrity and train wreck. They all look good, so we can put aside their dubious talent and just appreciate the fact that they married someone famous and now we get to see them naked sometimes. Thanks, gals.

15. Victoria Beckham

You need some background info on this one? She’s married to this dude named David. Together they’re friends with Will Smith and Tom Cruise. They also are sort of kind of Scientoligists maybe. And she was a Spice Girl. That’s all you will even need to know about Posh Spice.

14. Tanya Robinson

Young Tanya is dating Steven Taylor from Newcastle and has fake breasts. She’s a model for FHM, having caused a stir when she posed in a sexy fashion in front of a historic pub in her hometown. Deal with it, Tanya’s hometown of Richmond, North Yorkshire, England!

13. Melanie Slade

Ms. Slade is in a serious relationship with Theo Walcott of Arsenal. Unlike many entrants, Slade tries to avoid the limelight, even having turned down a Ferrari as a birthday present. Which makes me angry for some reason.

12. Lorena Bernal

This Argentinian is married to Spaniard Mikel Arteta who plays for Everton. She’s incredibly hot. That’s all there is to know about Lorena Bernal. What? She’s known for being a girlfriend for God’s sake. Fine. She was also in an episode of CSI or something.

11. Lindsey Strutt

This Page 3 girl, nicknamed Strutter, probably for some disgusting reason, is attached to Alex Bruce of Ipswich. She has worked posing topless as a model, which makes her no different than every other girl on this list.

10. Kate Lawler

Lawler has worked as a reality TV star, model, and DJ. Which makes me think she has no actual skills to speak of. She was in a relationship with Jonathan Woodgate, who played for Newcastle United during their relationship.

9. Joanna Taylor

Joanna Taylor married Danny Murphy, who has played for Liverpool, Tottenham Hotspur, Charlton Athletic, and Fulham. She is a former model and actress, having acted in the popular soap opera Hollyoaks.

8. Gemma Atkinson

Atkinson was engaged to Marcus Bent, who seems to have played for almost every soccer club in England, which probably has caused him some self esteem issues. Fortunately, dating lingerie model Gemma Atkinson is probably a pretty good remedy for low self esteem.

7. Danielle Lloyd

Lloyd was Ms. England in 2004, which is a country that has many beautiful women, so that’s quite a distinction. She was voted Mrs. Great Britain in 2006, but her crown was revoked after she posed nude. Lame. She dated Teddy Sheringham of Manchester United for a spell, but things didn’t work out. Tragic.

6. Coleen McLoughlin

McLoughlin is a tabloid fixture thanks to her marriage to soccer superstar Wayne Rooney, who is known for scoring some the more amazing goals in recent history, as well as looking like a caricature of a British stereotype. But, hey, he’s a hell of a footballer.

5. Claudine Palmer

Robbie Keane married Palmer in 2008. She was a Miss Ireland contestant, and he has been captain of Ireland’s national team. They probably have adorable accents.

4. Cheryl Colle

This singer, songwriter, dancer, and model was actually in Girls Aloud, a foxy group manufactured by the TV show “Popstar.” She was married to Ashley Cole of Chelsea from 2006 until they got sick of each other in 2010.

3. Carly Zucker

Zucker has been married to Joe Cole, who has logged time with Chelsea and most recently, Liverpool. She’s a reality TV star and model, just like every other woman on this list.

2. Amii Grove

Hey! A Page 3 girl and a model! Grove was engaged to Jermaine Pennant of Liverpool but they never took the walk, instead continuously breaking up and rekindling. She tried to sell her engagement ring after he sold her car to buy a new one for himself. Shame they couldn’t work things out.

1. Abbey Clancy

She’s a lingerie model and television presenter. One day I will understand what a British television presenter is and what they do. She’s engaged to Peter Crouch but she’s already pregnant with his child, which means they had sex before they were married. Scandal!




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