Hmmm…Good introduction for a list of 15 funny, dumb hockey GIF’s. Hmmm.

There isn’t too much to say here, so let me just run you through some high points of the next 15 images. We have sexual gestures, crotch shots, more than a handful of people falling down, and green man (men). If that doesn’t get you a little fired up, you’re simply too joyless for me to save. Go forth.

15. The Blowjob Taunt

This one demonstrates one of the biggest assets of being a hockey fan over an NBA fan: the glass. The glass allows you to scream and gesture all you want without fear of reprisal from the players. Unless they climb the glass. Which I’m surprised this guy didn’t do.

14. Hockey Drinking Fail

I think GIF’s are weird. I generally don’t see the use for them, but in instances like this, their existence makes perfect sense. All is right with the world when we see this gentleman damn near choke on the nipple of his water bottle.

13. Hockey Referee Nutshot

This GIF is awesome for two reasons. Firstly, it features an authority figure suffering trauma to his genitals. Always funny. Secondly, it would appear that the hockey ref has trouble skating. Also very funny. Tie one in with the other and I’m a happy man.

12. Open Goal Fail

I think this sort of play is excusable until your third birthday. After that, you better have a very compelling reason why you missed an open-goal dribbler. The only acceptable excuse I can think of is “my head exploded.”

11. Body Check Fail

This Canuck is quite the artful dodger. If you take more than two deliberate strides towards someone with the intent of decking them, that’s called charging. I think someone just outed themselves as a closet charger.

10. Hockey Knock Out

My biggest complaint in sports brawls is that no one ever seems to get hurt. I don’t pray for injury or anything, but I appreciate an element of danger in my fights. Here’s more than an element of danger. This is actual danger.

9. Hockey Players in Sync

You should see them do the Macarena.

8. Goalie Skate Fail

It can’t be easy skating freely with all those pads. I mean, he’s done it for probably 25 years, but still. Cut the guy some slack. No matter how insanely ridiculously funny his misfortune is.

7. Hockey Coach Loses His Mind

He’s upset because he’s crazy. Or he’s crazy because he’s upset. I don’t really know what he’s so pissed about, but it’s good to vent a little. By whacking something with a stick. On the job. Your boss might not be so tolerant, though.

6. Lightsaber Hockey

Every sport should have an element of decapitation by lightsaber, in this sportswriter’s opinion.

5. Hockey Fight Fail

Don’t start something you can’t finish. More specifically, “don’t try to fight someone if merely staying upright on skates is a chore for you.”

4. Hockey Crash

I don’t know what they make the “glass” out of at hockey rinks, but I assumed it wasn’t actual glass. I guess I was wrong.

3. Where’d He Come From?

This GIF has the element of surprise and misdirection working for it. You see the two slide into the goal, then all of a sudden, you see some new dude pop up, Wincing in pain. He looks like he should be in a heavy metal video.

2. Green Men

The day that Green Man gets old, I want you to kill me. Kill me right in the face. Even the inmate in the penalty box seems to be enjoying it.

1. Waffle Time

Rather than end with the strongest GIF (which I believe I led with), I would like to show an example of everything that is wrong with GIF’s in something I have dubbed “waffle time.” Waffle time is stupid, pointless, and pretty damn funny. I was scared he wasn’t gonna get the waffle, but he got it!