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12 Awesome Sports Fan Halloween Costumes
Well, Halloween is here again. If you’re like me (i.e., a grown man), then chances are the only reason you’re even considering dressing up this year is because you want to go a costume party where there will be a bunch of chicks dressed up as “slutty nurses” or “slutty cops” or…well, pretty much “slutty” anything. The only problem is, what the hell are you going to wear? It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just needs to look like you sort of care.
Here’s my advice: go with a sports-themed costume. For one thing, if you’re a sports fan (and you are, because you’re reading an article on Total Pro Sports), you probably have all the stuff you need to put something together just lying around the house. For another thing, a sports-themed costume is great for making conversation with girls at a party. That’s because they probably won’t know who you are but will ask you, thus initiating conversation.
In case you need some inspiration, here’s a list of 12 awesome sports fan Halloween costumes. Some of them are timeless; some might be a little dated. But they might spark some ideas you can use for your own costume…or maybe you can just copy one of these verbatim.
12. Dennis Eckersley
We start off with a classic. There are only a handful of baseball players in the history of the game whose appearance is so distinctive that they make suitable Halloween costumes. And Dennis Eckersley—with the trademark mullet and porno mustache—is one of them. The best part is, since Halloween usually comes right after the conclusion of the World Series, and since the Hall of Famer now serves as an analyst on TBS, dressing as the Eck seems topical.
11. Charlie Weiss
Okay, I know this one is a little 2009, but it cracked me up so much that I had to include it. There’s just something funny about a fat guy with a crewcut and khakis pulled up under his manboobs. Also, it’s funny to make fun of Notre Dame Football. They’re like the Yankees—if the Yankees hadn’t really been good for about 30 years.
10. Brian Wilson
If you dress up as San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson, there’s no way you’ll be as awesome as this kid. Still, you can pull it off, and in future years you can use the beard for a Fidel Castro costume. However, this year will be your last chance to dress as Wilson for Halloween. After those Taco Bell commercials that ran in between every inning of every game during the baseball postseason, Brian Wilson’s 15 minutes are just about up.
9. Rex Ryan
You see, there’s just something funny about fat football coaches. This is especially true when the corpulent coach in question is perhaps most famous for making foot-fetish videos with his wife. Obviously, if you want to take this costume up a notch, you carry a pair of high heels around and, occasionally, give them a lick.
8. Macho Man Randy Savage
In previous years, dressing as Macho Man Randy Savage would seem kind of random. But with his untimely passing this past May, there’s no better time to pay tribute to one of the greatest pro wrestlers the world has ever known. It’s a pretty simple costume, too. All you really need is a cowboy hat (available at any costume store), a fake beard (also available at any costume store), and some slim jims (available at any 7-11).
Bonus points if you get a friend to dress up as one of the Macho Man’s many famous antagonists (like the Iron Sheik).
There are so many ways to dress up as Tebow, and here are two. The one on the left may be a little too much. I respect the point he’s trying to make, but when you see the costume out of the corner of your eye without reading the sign that says “press,” it looks like you’re calling Tebow a pedophile. And that’s not very nice. I prefer the one on the right. All that does is make fun of the man’s deeply held religious beliefs.
5. Slutty Referees
For some reason, human beings (male and female, heterosexual and homosexual) love sexy authority figures. We just seem to have an ingrained desire to be bossed around in the bedroom. Hence strippers who start off dressed like cops.
But you know what’s even hotter than a sexy cop on Halloween? A sexy referee. That’s because, in this fantasy scenario, you get to be a hotshot pro athlete instead of a crackhead or invalid (or whoever the sexy cop and sexy nurse are bossing around).
4. Ted Williams
In case you’re a little confused, here’s the deal with this one: upon his death in 2002, two of Ted Williams’ children (the stupid ones) decided to have their dad’s head cryogenically frozen so that they could one day (when medical science has found a cure for death) be reunited. So the head of the greatest hitter in the history of baseball is sitting in a freezer somewhere in Arizona.
It’s a travesty for baseball fans (and those who are fans of not desecrating the dead), but it’s pure gold for those seeking a clever sports-themed Halloween costume.
3. Manny Pacquiao
This is an awesome costume. Unfortunately, to pull it off you’re going to have to look just like Manny Pacquaio. At the very least, you’re going to have to be Filipino. Or maybe Hawaiian.
2. Chuck Liddell
Retired MMA fighter Chuck Liddell was such a badass that even a little kid dressed like him for Halloween is intimidating. To pull this one off, you won’t necessarily have to be as ripped as the real Liddell, but it would help if you lost the beer gut.
1. Ron Washington
Lovable Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington just lost his second consecutive World Series. So, if you choose to go with this costume, you could add to it by drawing sad clown tears on your face. Alternatively, if it’s crass and tasteless you’re going for, you could put some powdered sugar on your mustache—remember, the guy tested positive for cocaine in 2009. (Hey, don’t get mad at me. I said it would be crass and tasteless.)