12 Super Hot Super Bowl WAGs (2012 Edition)

Now that Super Bowl XLVI is set and the 2011 NFL Season is about to be wrapped up, it’s time to begin pouring over stats, crunching numbers, and making predictions. But rather than use all the usual stats and records to come up with a prediction, I thought it might be fun to take a different approach. So instead of QB ratings and turnovers, I’m going to analyze the hotness of the Giants’ and Patriots’ wives and girlfriends. This analysis, I believe, will prove which team has more to lose by choking in the Super Bowl and becoming a national laughing stock. And the team with more to lose (i.e. with hotter WAGs) should be the team who tries harder and, therefore, comes out on top.

I think it’s a pretty sound theory. So here it goes. I hope you can keep up with this cutting edge analysis.
Elaine Watley was the longtime girlfriend of Giants receiver Victor Cruz. Now she’s his fiancee and, as of January 12, his baby mama. So Victor has a lot to play for in the upcoming Super Bowl—gotta make your kid proud, you know?
How does a dumpy looking guy like Pats coach Bill Belichik get a smoking hot cougar like Linda Holliday here? Oh, right. The money and fame. Gotcha.
Giants wide receiver Mario Manningham may not be a household name. But he does have a beautiful classy-looking girlfriend in Tiffany Hughley. Unlike our next entry, Ms. Hughley is worthy of taking home to mom.
Apparently Rob Gronkowski and porn star Bibi Jones claim there is nothing between them, and that the photo Rob tweeted back in October of Jones wearing Gronkowski’s jersey was just a publicity stunt aimed at getting the tight end more Twitter followers.

You know who’s not buying that? Everybody on earth. So, sorry guys, you’re an item. Deal with it.
In February 2008, Justin Tuck turned in an amazing performance in Super Bowl XLII (2 sacks and a forced fumble). Later that year, he convinced this beautiful woman to marry him.

Coincidence? Doubtful. Justin and Lauren Tuck are proof: solid Super Bowl performances help you get the girl.
Patriots tackle Matt Light met his wife, Susie, while both were students at Purdue. Obviously he knew he wasn’t likely to find anyone hotter, so he locked her up before she could become a free agent. Smart move, Matt. She is a looker. (Please don’t squash me like a bug for saying so.)
I don’t think Callie Rivers (the Twitter-happy daughter of Celtics coach Doc Rivers and former Florida Gator volleyball player) is dating Brandon Spikes anymore—not since a sex tape featuring Spikes and another woman hit the internets. But they were an item, and Callie Rivers is hot. So here she is on the list.

If nothing else, not being with someone as fine as Callie should motivate Spikes to get his act together to he can get back to that level.
Victoria’s Secret Angel Selita Ebanks is another ex-Super Bowl XLVI WAG. She dated Giants DE Osi Umenyiora back in 2007 and 2008, then again briefly in 2009. My guess is that getting a girl like Selita kind of ruins a guy. So you know Osi is going to be working hard next Sunday to impress Selita and win her back.
Bridget Moynahan may be Tom Brady’s ex-girlfriend, but she’s also his baby mama. That means that have a permanent relationship, and thus that she is eligible for inclusion on this list. (Because you never know when they might just be like, hey, let’s do it once more for old time’s sake?)
Not only is Abby Manning really damn gorgeous. She also spends a lot of time working on her and her hubby’s charitable efforts. So she’s quite a catch. With another Super Bowl victory this year, I’d say Eli would have a pretty good chance of locking her up for good.
At #2 we have the current Mrs. Tom Brady. Of course, you have to be pretty damn hot to make a guy leave someone as gorgeous as Bridget Moynahan. And while I personally think Gisele is a little overrated, she’s overrated the way a Porsche is an overrated sports car—it may not be your most favorite, but you’d still take one over the Toyota Corolla you drive.
Coming in at #1 on our list of Super Hot Super Bowl WAGs is Anna Burns, the super curvy girlfriend of New England receiver Wes Welker.

She won the Miss Hooters International pageant back in 2005. So apparently, there really is nothing Wes Welker can’t do.

Congratulations, Wes. Your hot girlfriend means the Patriots have the most to lose by choking in the upcoming Super Bowl. That means you guys are sure to win this time.