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21 Hilarious Soccer Dives (GIFs)

by: Esteban On  Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tags:  Cheating   Cristiano Ronaldo   Dive   Funny   Soccer  

soccer dives gifs

I love soccer. Always have. That’s why I wish the old European dudes who oversee the world’s most popular sport would make it easier for me to defend “the beautiful game” to the haters here in North America by coming down hard on dives.

You see, it’s hard to make a case for the game when you have grown men flopping around all over the pitch like imbeciles. Someone gets within five feet of them, and they immediately collapse, grab their ankle, face, or both, and start rolling around in pretend agony. Then the idiot referee walks over and pulls out a yellow card—and nothing even happened. So you see my conundrum. How am I supposed to convince someone who loves American football that soccer isn’t for sissies when this kind of stuff is going on?

Still, I will say one thing for soccer’s great floppers: it’s really fun to hate them. Plus, they do make me laugh. And I’m willing to bet they’ll make you laugh, too. So here are 21 hilarious animated GIFs featuring some of the greatest soccer flops you’ll ever see.

21. Free Goal

soccer dive draws penalty shot giv

“Oh crap, the keeper just cut off my angle. Well, better collapse to the ground and writhe in agony.”

20. Phantom Tackle

soccer dive gif

This isn’t even a good dive. If you’re tripped, you go flying through the air. You don’t crumble to the ground…doofus.

19. Kaka is so vicious

soccer dive fake injury gif kaka

Why is the instinct always to grab the face, like somebody gouged them in the eye?

18. The Invisible Hand

fake soccer injury dive

It’s tough when your opponent has two regular arms and two invisible arms—especially when he uses one of the invisible ones to karate chop you in the throat.

17. Altidore trips on his own feet

altidore trips on own feet looks like dive

Okay, upon close inspection, it’s obvious this isn’t a dive. Jozy just trips on his own feet, and he doesn’t really even embellish it. But it is still funny, so I left it in.

16. Torres trips, tries to sell it

torres trips dives draws foul

Like Altidore in #17, Torres just trips on his own feet here. (It’s hard to see, but watch his shoes and you’ll spot his right foot hitting the back of his left ankle.) However, Torres is a skilled soccer actor who knows how to turn clumsiness into a foul. Look at the way he just throws his head back and lowers his left shoulder in preparation for the dramatic tumble! The guy can really sell it, can’t he?

15. Smooth

soccer dive

Now this guy knows what he’s doing. He’s obviously spent hours fine-tuning his craft (of diving). He knows that it’s the left foot that would have been snagged had the goalie actually made contact, so as soon as it hits the ground he stops it on a dime and extends the left leg.

Of course, the stupid thing is that he actually had the keeper beat and managed to maintain possession of the ball. All he had to do was shoot it in, so why take a dive at all here?

14. Charlie Davies' dive

charlie davies dive

The DC United player got suspended for this embarrassment. Rightly so.

In fact, I’ve long held that they should suspend players for 10 games for any dive. Some people say, “but you can’t always tell for sure! What if they get it wrong and a guy is suspended unfairly?” And to that I say, yes, there may be a few innocent casualties. But I guarantee that if you started with 10 games, then doubled the amount for every subsequent infraction (so 20 games the second time, and 40 the third), you would eliminate this nonsense from the game.

Besides, you only need to go after the obvious ones. Those are the ones that are so embarrassing to the sport.

13. Mad diving skillz

soccer player takes a dive

Here’s another very skilled diver. He really makes this one look convincing. I had to watch it about 7 times before I was sure there was, in fact, no contact.

His dad must be so proud!

12. Head-butter become head-buttee

soccer player head-butt fake injury

Dude, you can grab your face all you want, but we all saw you head-butt the other guy with the top of your head. No sale.

11. Pretty much

soccer dive cartoon

Hey, I love soccer. I really do. So it’s sad that this is so true.

10. You're mocking me, aren't you

soccer player mocks dive

I wish more players would mock their diving opponents.

9. WTF?

soccer player pretends guy spit in his face

I guess this guy was trying to make like the goalie spit in his face. In any case, my favorite part is the reaction from the supposed spitter when the guy suddenly throws his head back. He’s actually startled!

8. The linesman is standing RIGHT THERE!

rivaldo fakes injury

This is an all-time classic. Rivaldo is hit in the thigh with the ball, so obviously he falls to the ground and grabs his face…even though the linesman was standing 5 feet away. You gotta be pretty confident in your acting skillz to try that one.

7. World's most ridiculous man

cristiano ronaldo dive

This is why I cannot stand Cristiano Ronaldo.

6. Dramatic dive reenactment

soccer players reenact dive

“Hey, Gunther, do your Cristiano Ronaldo impersonation again!”

5. Ridiculous

soccer dive flop

These two jackasses are made for each other.

4. Even coaches take dives

soccer coach pretend he was head-butted

Good. Lord.

The funny thing is, after the coach drops to the ground in feigned agony, the player hesitates for a split second before realizing that the only way he can avoid getting kicked out of the game is to act like he was the victim. So you have two dives stemming from one fake head-butt. Just wonderful.

3. No peeking

soccer player peaks to see if ref is watching

Yeah, you might as well try to see if the ref is even watching you. Otherwise, might as well get up and rejoin the play.

2. Very clever

soccer player hits himself with player's arm

Well, that’s one way to draw a foul…if you’re a walking piece of human garbage.

1. Soccer Sniper

soccer dive sniper

And this is the one you’ll watch over and over for about five minutes. Enjoy!




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