Oh sure, Guinness also certifies some of the “sacred” records I just mentioned. But they also certify weird achievements like “most ping pong balls thrown at a hornets nest by a person wearing a tutu in one minute.”

Yeah, I just made that one up, but you get the idea: their wacky, and therefore fun. So take a look. You look like you need a break from work anyway.

Record Holder: Tillman the English Bulldog

Date Established: July 30, 209

Location: USA

Apparently this record was set during X Games XV in Los Angeles…which actually makes sense. Anyway, the winner of the dog skateboarding race that day and the current world record holder was a Bulldog named Tillman, who rode a skateboard 100 meters in 19.678 seconds. (Now this one I’m fairly certain I could beat.)

Record Holder: Adam Beatrice

Date Established: April 10, 2011

Location: Nashville, Tennessee

The record? It’s 10 shots. It was set by some kid named Adam Beatrice at Lipscomb University in Nashville last April. He made several attempts that day, but during the record-setting minute he went 10 for 24…which is pretty good. (Note to NBA franchises: make sure this guy never gets picked for your halftime contests. He’ll clean you out.)

Record Holder: Nancy Schubring

Date Established: September 15, 2000

Location: Vassar, Michigan

This woman ran the “Mike May Races Half Marathon” in a respectable 1:30:51. Why? Just because, I guess.

Of course, they didn’t specify the make of the stroller, and that could make all the difference. I mean, I assume it was one of those jogging strollers with the huge bicycle wheels and not one of those clunky plastic-looking things you see people pushing around a shopping mall. But they don’t say. Guinness really dropped the ball with this one.

Record Holder: Agris Kazelniks

Date Established: April 18, 2009

Location: Latvia

This would actually be a pretty cool Olympic sport. The IOC should consider it.

As for this record, on the set of Italian TV show “Lo Show Dei Record” (which sounds made up), the man covered a 20m distance carrying 300kg (661lb, 5.4oz) in just 11.40 seconds. (I complain when I have to walk to the bus stop with my laptop in my backpack.)

Record Holder: Ashrita Furman

Date Established: June 12, 2006

Location: Huntington, New York

This guy hula hooped 10km in 1:25:09. I wonder if anyone thought to calculate how many calories he burned? That total must have been out of this world.

Record Holder: Garrett McNamara

Date Established: November 2011

Location: Nazaré, Portugal

This 44-year-old pro surfer rode the largest wave of all time last November. Originally people were saying it was 90 feet, which would have shattered the old record by 13 feet. However, after examining the evidence Guinness declared the wave was only 78 feet—which beat the old record by just one foot. But hey, it doesn’t matter how much you beat the record by. All that matters is that you beat it.

Record Holder: Luis Caídas Martín

Date Established: June 4, 2006

Location: Valladolid, Spain

This is by far the most shocking record on this list. Why? Well, before I tell you how fast Señor Martín shot his 10 arrows, just take a moment to think about it. I mean, what would you think would be a good time? Maybe 30 seconds? 20 seconds?

Well, in fact, the world record for shooting 10 arrows is 1:07.

Serious. One minute, seven seconds. Doesn’t 6.7 seconds per arrow seem a little high? If he were in any of the various Robin Hood movies they’ve made, he’d be the first dude killed when the you-know-what hits the fan. Has nobody else even tried? I’m perplexed about this one.

Record Holder: United Nations Relief and Works Agency

Date Established: July 22, 2010

Location: Gaza Strip, Palestine

Well, they’ve tried everything else to bring peace to the Middle East. Why not basketball dribbling? Two years ago the UNRWA organized this event, in which they got a whopping 7,556 people to dribble basketballs at the same time. (I wonder how much it costs to ship 7,556 basketballs?)

Record Holder: Blaine Griffith

Date Established: Feburary 15, 2009

Location: Phoenix, Arizona

Yes, really. This is a thing. Somebody named Blaine Griffith set the record—just 15—at the NBA All-Star Jam in 2009. I’m guessing 50% of anyone who actually tried to beat this record could do so. But hey, there aren’t any reps from Guinness in your living room, are there?

Record Holder: Freezing Fun For Families (Charity)

Date Established: March 8, 2009

Location: Barre, Vermont

Every year a charity organization in Vermont holds a charity “snow softball” tournament. (Hey, if they have beach volleyball, why not snow softball?) In 2008, they raised $50,000 to build something called a comfort room at the Central Vermont Hospital. Then, in 2009, they had 61 teams and 795 players participate, setting the Guinness World Record. And I think this one will stay a while—who wants to be the douche who stole the world record from a charity raising money to build hospital rooms?

Record Holder: John Farnworth

Date Established: October 3, 2008

Location: London

This guy is a professional “freestyle footballer,” meaning he juggles soccer balls for a living. In addition to the record for most “Around the World” tricks in 1 minute (85), this guy also has the record for most shin juggles in 1 minute (107), most heel juggles in 1 minute (133), and most face rolls in 1 minute (559).

Here’s another video about this amazing guy:

Record Holder: Brittney McGlone, Jessica Penney, Laura Juliff, Casey Case

Date Established: September 28, 2010

Location: Sydney, Australia

Brittney McGlone is an actual Olympic track athlete…so this one is kind of cheating. Her team ran a 4x100m in high heels in 1:49:19 back in 2010 at a charity event that raised $100,000 for breast cancer research.

Record Holder: Olympium Synchronized Swimming Club

Date Established: May 31, 2008

Location: Toronto

So how many people did they get to perform this synchronized swimming routine? A very impressive 186. Who knew southern Ontario was such a hotbed for synchronized swimming?

Sadly, this photo is of the former record holders from the UK, who performed a routine with 105 member in 2007. For some reason, the people at the Olympium Club don’t have a picture of their record on their website…you’d thing they’d want to brag about that.

Record Holder: Eric Barone

Date Established: April 21, 2000

Location: Les Arcs, France

Downhill snow cycling? Sure, why not. And the speed record? It’s 138 mph, which sounds pretty fast to me.

My only question is, do they use special tires?

Record Holder: Christopher Irmscher

Date Established: September 13, 2008

Location: Dormagen, Germany

This guy ran the 100m hurdles, wearing swim fins, in just 14.82 seconds. I’m fairly certain I couldn’t get close to that time with regular shoes.