Did you ever notice how the further down you go on the sports pyramid, the weirder the mascots get?
For example, there aren’t really any professional sports teams with bizarre names. Sure, some are unusual (Indiana Pacers), anachronistic (Cincinnati Reds), offensive (Washington Redskins) or just plain dumb (Minnesota Wild), but none of them are bizarre.
However, if you take one step down in the pro ranks, you’ll find a lot of minor league teams with weird names—the Ashville Tourists come to mind. And if go down one step further to the college ranks, then you find a lot more—like the Saint Louis Billikens , the Erskine College Flying Feet, or the Oglethorpe University Stormy Petrels.
However, not even the weirdest college mascots can compare to what you find on the high school level. And today I’m going to prove it with this list of 20 Ridiculous High School Team Names. There are so many bizarre ones out there that I can’t claim this list is comprehensive. But I can guarantee you’ll have a few good laughs.
And of course, if you know of any hilarious high school team names, please do share.
You know, if you have to add the adjective awesome in front of your team name, that name probably isn't that awesome. And I don't know if "flower power"? That's not helping, either.
This one had to be on purpose, right? They probably run out onto the field to the tune of "Pour Some Sugar On Me"—though I guess none of the players can hear it.
19. The Arkansas School for the Deaf Leopards (Little Rock, AR)
Who is Nathan Bedford Forrest? Just a general in the Confederate Army. Oh, and also the founder of the Ku Klux Klan. So, the Nathan Bedford Forrest Rebels? They might as well have called themselves the Fightin' Racists.
On a side note, I wonder how they celebrate Black History Month at this school.
18. Nathan Bedford Forrest High School Rebels (Jacksonville, FL)
If you're town is called Poca, then you really only have one choice for high school team name. And while the name is pretty silly, I must admit that this is one badass looking dot.
17. The Poca High Dots (Poca, WV)
There's nothing weird about Bulldogs, but Hooker? That's just unfortunate. And it's even worse when they drop the "High" and the "Bulldogs" and just put "Hooker" on the apparel.
I bet a lot of people are really disappointed when they show up for "Hooker Wrestling" at the school gymnasium.
16. Hooker High School Bulldogs (Hooker, OK)
I don't care how famous your town is for making cheese, this is still an extremely stupid name for a high school sports team. There are just so many ways for opposing schools to mock them.
15. Tillamook Cheesemakers (Tillamook, OR)
This one is weird, but I must admit that I actually love it. How awesome would it be to be a Frankfort Hot Dog? And an angry little dachshund for the mascot? That's amazing. I'm actually thinking about buying one their t-shirts online.
14. Frankfort Hot Dogs (Frankfort, IN)
So, if I had to guess, I'd say Sandy, Utah, is beet country. Even so, for some reason "Beetdiggers" just doesn't sound right to me. And that logo kind of looks like they're slicing up a liver or something.
13. Jordan Beetdiggers (Sandy, UT)
You know, "Millionaires" would actually be a pretty baller name for a high school sports team if they had a good logo. However, with a top hat, cane, and white gloves, these kids just look like a bunch of dandies. It just screams, "hey, kids from poor schools—come kick beat the sh$% out of us!"
12. Williamsport Millionaires (Williamsport, PA)
Nothing goes together like football and poetry—am I right?
11. Sidney Lanier Poets (Montgomery, AL)
Though their official team name is the Point Pleasant Black Knights, unofficially they're called the Big Blacks. So, um...yeah. (Whatever you do, do not do a Google image search for "big blacks.")
10. Point Pleasant Big Blacks (Point Pleasant, WV)
First off, who knew there was a town in Pennsylvania called Mars? That's awesome. Unfortunately, they gave the high school sports teams a lame name. Even if you wanted to play off the town's unique name you could do so much better. For example, the Fightin' Martians would have been awesome—they could have made it look like the Notre Dame fighting leprechaun, only an alien. But Fighting Planets? That's just stupid.
9. Mars Fighting Planets (Mars, PA)
When I first read about the New Braunfels Unicorns, I assumed this was an all-girls middle school or something. But no, it's a co-ed public high school. And they play football. In Texas.
8. New Braunfels Unicorns (New Braunfels, TX)
The pretzels? I'd love to have been at the meeting where they were tossing around ideas for the team name:
"Hey, how about the Pretzels"
"Yeah, that's great!"
"Or how about the Fighting Pretzels?"
"The Fighting Pretzels, Larry? Come on dude, that just doesn't make any sense."
7. New Berlin Pretzels (New Berlin, IL)
Oh no, that's not offensive at all. I'm sure the poor dudes who live on 7-11 hot dogs that they buy with the money they get from collecting aluminum cans are stoked that you named your basketball teams after them.
6. Laurel Hill Hoboes (Laurel Hill, FL)
Maybe in 1906 "Orphans" wasn't a weird name for a sports team, but today it's kind of messed up. I mean, doesn't the very idea of orphans make you sad? Who the hell is like, "Yay! Orphans!"
5. Centralia Orphans (Centralia, IL)
This one actually has a funny story. The school was founded in 1909, before Arizona was even a state. In 1910, they relocated to—you guessed it—an abandoned prison. And ever since, they've been called the Yuma High Criminals. In fact, they really love their history. If you check out the school's website, you'll see that the whole thing is prison-themed.
Oh, and I guess I should mention that the school it no longer located in an abandoned prison. But you probably assumed that.
4. Yuma Criminals (Yuma, AZ)
If it were the Thornhill Midgets, or the Pine Bluff Midgets, or the Dubuque Midgets, this one wouldn't be quite as hilarious. But the Butternut Midgets? I don't know what it is, but I just laughed for almost five minutes when I found this one. Seriously. And then I came across some of their apparel online. Midgets Wrestling? How 'Bout Them Midgets?
3. Butternut Midgets (Butternut, WI)
I assume a cornjerker is something like a cornhusker. However, it sounds infinitely dirtier, doesn't it? And how bout that anthropomorphic ear of corn, huh? That's not creepy. They aren't kidding when they shout "Fear the Ear!"
2. Hoopeston Cornjerkers (Hoopeston, IL)
The Wooden Shoes? What the hell is wrong with these people?
1. Teutopolis Wooden Shoes (Teutopolis, IL)
high school basketball, High School Football, high school sports, Mascots, team names,