Why have the Cowboys been so incredibly mediocre in recent years, despite being the most valuable franchise in the NFL and the third-most valuable franchise in the world?
Well, we could go into a long explanation based on the basic premise that owner and general manager Jerry Jones doesn’t know anything about evaluating coaching and playing talent, and thus is unable to make the sound decisions any decent GM would make.
But that kind of explanation takes so much time and effort to write and read, when all you really need to know to understand what’s wrong with the Dallas Cowboys is this: Jerry Jones just bought a new team bus worth an estimated $2.5 million.
I say “an estimated $2.5 million” because, shockingly, team officials won’t reveal the exact price tag. Instead, we have to guess based on the fact that the new Provost Marathon Coach has a list price of $1.5-$2.5 million, depending on the finishes. And since the new Cowboys ride has some pretty extravagant finishes—like 9 televisions, a custom floor with an inlaid Cowboys logo, and an expandable cabin—you’ve got to assume this meets or exceeds the upper end of that price range.
Now, I know what you’re wondering: why would they spend so much on a bus that just takes players to and from the airport? And to that I say, silly readers, this bus isn’t for the players! It’s for team administrators and coaches. You didn’t expect them to drive around Indianapolis at the NFL combine this week in regular automobiles, did you? That would be crazy. No, they’re all riding around in their new bus, which has been dubbed “The Elegant Lady”…cause why the hell not?
Anyway, it’s no wonder the Cowboys aren’t good anymore. Jerry Jones is more worried about having Tiffany crystal and marble countertops in his bus than hiring team personel that know how to win.
You can take a closer look at this thing via the gallery above.