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50 Sports Terms that Sound Dirty (and Sometimes Are)

by: Esteban On  Monday, June 24, 2013

sports terms that sound dirty (innuendo)

We’ve all had the experience, right? You’re sitting there, watching some sporting event on TV, when all of a sudden the announcer says something that just makes you chuckle. Why? Because the thing he happened to say sounded vaguely dirty to you—even though it probably shouldn’t, and you might not want to admit it.

You really shouldn’t be ashamed, though. Pretty much any phrase can be made to sound dirty if you remove it from intended context and say it in just the right way, and this is even more true of sports terms. Moreover, you’re not the only one who hears it. I consider myself to be a pretty mature, responsible adult. I have a mortgage and I pay my taxes. But there’s still a part of me that has the sense of humor of a 15-year-old. And that part thinks it’s hilarious when announcers talk about shafts and balls and finding holes in the defense and whatnot.

Today, therefore, we’re going to count down 50 of the funniest, dirty-sounding terms in sports. Obviously, this endeavor is not for everyone. If you are young and impressionable, easily offended, or do not typically enjoy juvenile humor, you probably shouldn’t read any further. On the other hand, if you need a good (and really stupid) laugh to start the week off right, I think you’d better start clicking those arrows. A bunch of dirty-minded nonsense awaits.

 

50. Tight End

50 tight end gronkowski  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Let’s start off with an obvious classic, shall we? Since the dawn of time (or the dawn of whenever they starting calling the eligible receiver on the end of the offensive line a “tight end”), man has made puns about this humorously named football position.

 

49. Squeeze Play

49 baseball squeeze play - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In baseball, a squeeze play is when the batter bunts the ball in order to bring the runner on third home, sacrificing an out for a run. Used out of context, the term “squeeze play” sounds like a move a guy puts on his girlfriend…or vice versa.

 

48. Putt from the Rough

48-putt-from-the-rough-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

You can thank Matt Damon for making “putt from the rough” sound dirty. Before Good Will Hunting, all this meant was that a golfer was using his putter to hit the ball just off the green. But for some reason, in that movie, Damon used “putt from the rough” to imply that his therapist was gay, and the term stuck.

 

47. Touch the Bag

47 touch the bag - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Every once in a while you’ll hear baseball announcers breaking down a base running play and going to instant replay to see if the guy “really touched the bag.” Obviously  they mean “base”—as in first, second, or third—but we have a good laugh anyway.

 

46. Sack

46-quarterback-sack-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

A sack is when the quarterback gets tackled. Obviously, some sacks are bigger than others. In fact, you could say some sacks are huge and powerful.

 

45. Five Hole

45 hockey fivehole - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In hockey, the “five hole” is the hole between the goalie’s legs, with holes one, two, three, and four being the four corners of the goal.

As for how this term can be dirty—just look at the sign, there.

 

44. Get Stuffed

44 bosh stuffed by hibbert  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

When a basketball player has his attempt to shoot the ball blocked by a defender, we sometimes say he got stuffed. (The innuendo here is obvious.)

 

43. Backdoor Slider

43 backdoor slider  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

A backdoor slider is a pitch that starts outside the zone and curved back in over the plate for a called strike. Clearly, it’s a term would also come in handy while trying to explain certain sex acts in euphemistic terms.

 

42. Nutmeg

42 soccer nutmeg - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

A soccer player is “nutmegged” when his opponent pushes the ball between his legs, either while dribbling, shooting, or passing. If you don’t see how this sounds dirty, obviously you’ve never heard this song from Colbert Christmas.

 

41. Hole in One

Golf Ball Sitting on Edge of Hole

Anytime something goes into a hole, the description is going to sound dirty.

 

40. Swing the Lumber

40 swing the lumber babe ruth  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In baseball, batting is referred to sometimes as swinging the lumber—you know, because all the bats are made of hard wood.

 

39. Pull the Goalie

39 pull the goalie - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

The goalie’s job is to stop pucks from going in the net, and when you pull the goalie you leave yourself unprotected.

Figure it out yet? (Hint: the goalie is a condom.)

 

38. Stuff It in the Hole

38 stuff it in the hole  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Sometimes you’ll hear a basketball announcer or coach or player talk about “stuffing it in the hole.” Obviously, what they are talking about is stuffing the basketball through the hoop.

 

37. Bat Boy

37 bat boy - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Doesn’t “bat boy” sound like some euphemism you might here at a gay bar? I know if I were gay I’d totally repurpose this expression.

 

36. Screamer

36 screamer baseball - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Sometimes when a batter hits a line drive, we call it a “screamer.” Fortunately, in the boudoir  a “screamer” is a lot less dangerous to the pitcher—though it might get you in trouble with your landlord.

 

35. Free Swinger

35 free swinger - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Vladimir Guerrero was one of the biggest “free swingers” in baseball history. Apparently, he was also a pretty big “free swinger” with the ladies, too. The guy supposedly has eight kids with five different women.

 

34. Rim Shot

34 basketball rim shot - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In basketball, a rim shot is a shot that clanks off the rim. In sex, a rim shot, technically, is nothing. But is sounds like something. 

 

33. Stiff-Armed

33 stiff armed - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

See? Pretty much anything can be made to sound dirty if you try.

 

32. Muffed Punt

32 muffed punt - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

A “muffed kick” or a “muffed throw” wouldn’t sounds so funny. But “muffed punt” just sounds dirty. Am I right?

 

31. Leaving the Crease

31 goalie fight leaving the crease - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Most of the dirty-sounding terms from the world of hockey are names of penalties, including this one. A goalie gets a two-minute minor penalty and a $200 fine for “leaving the crease” during a fight.

If there were a $200 for similar infractions in the bedroom, the world would have a lot more people.

 

30. Getting to Second Base

30 second base - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

You know this one already. Let’s just move on to the next one.

 

29. Take It on the Chin

boxing punch take it on the chin

In boxing, it just means getting punched on the chin. As for why it’s dirty…like most of these, if I have to explain it you probably shouldn’t even be reading this.

 

28. Butt-Ending

28-butt-ending-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

In the NHL, “butt-ending” is when a player uses the butt of his stick to strike another player, and it’s a major penalty that sometimes carry’s with it a game misconduct.

I don’t know what “butt-ending” would be in the boudoir, but it doesn’t sound too great.

 

27. Take the Mound

27-take-the-mound-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

I’m pretty sure you could right an entire book about human sexuality using nothing but baseball terminology.

 

26. Illegal Touching

26 illegal touching - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In football and in life, illegal touching is pretty much the same thing: touching something you’re not supposed to touch.

 

25. Hit and Run

25 hit and run - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In baseball, the “hit and run” is when the player on first (or second) starts running before the batter hits the ball. The idea isn’t necessarily to steal the base, but to get a head start and either avoid a double play or get extra bases in the event of a hit. Of course, “hit and run” also sounds a lot like what douchey guys do with the women they meat in clubs.

 

24. Bump and Run

24-bump-and-run-nascar-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

In the bedroom, this means pretty much the same thing as the last one. In sports, however, it refers to drivers swiping paint out on the NASCAR track.

 

23. 19th Hole

23 19th hole - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Usually, when golfers talk about the 19th hole, they mean the clubhouse bar. But you never know—they could mean this.

 

22. Up and In

22 up and in baseball pitch  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

I’ll assume that you get how “up and in” could be construed as sexual innuendo, so I’ll just explain the baseball side of things here: a pitch that is “up and in” is one that nearly hits the batter in the head.

 

21. Take It to the Hole

21 take it to the hole - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

When a basketball player “takes it to the hole,” he’s either (a) charging with the basket with the ball for a layup or dunk or (b) finding a hole in the defense and going through it. So, obviously, taking it to the hole is pretty much always a good thing.

 

20. Ball Girls

20 tennis ball girls - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Attractive women handling fuzzy balls? There are actually too many jokes for me to choose from, here. Let’s just move on to the next one.

 

19. Swings a Big Bat

19 swings a big bat  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

When a baseball player is a really powerful hitter, you might here people describe him as “swinging a big bat.”

When that happens, feel free to chuckle openly, because it is in fact hilarious.

 

18. Hole Out

18 hole out (billy horschel) - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In golf, you “hole out” when you get your ball in the hole—so technically, you “hole out” on every hole. However, most often the phrase is used when you get the ball in the hole unexpectedly, either with a tremendous putt or an approach shot.

Either way, “hole out” just sounds filthy as hell, as does that entire explanation I just gave.

 

17. Found a Hole

17 found a hole - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In baseball, sometimes weak ground balls “find a hole” and a guy winds up getting to first base. Of course, in other contexts, if you happen to find a hole you’ve probably just hit a home run.

 

16. Split the Uprights

16-split-the-uprights-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

In football to “split the uprights” is to kick a field goal. You get how that can be dirty, right?

 

15. In the Hole

15 in the hole 0-2 -  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In baseball, as a hitter, being “in the hole” (with no balls and two strikes) is a bad thing.

 

14. Holding the Stick

14-holding-the-stick-penalty-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

Here’s yet another hockey penalty that sounds dirty. Keep up the good work, guys.

 

13. Ball Washer

13 ball washer - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Let’s be real—absolutely everything about golf ball washing is dirty and hilarious, from the very idea to the manner in which the task is executed.

 

12. Hooker

12 my life as a hooker  - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

A hooker is a position in rugby. I’m guessing that, in the rugby-loving countries of the world, hookers are not also prostitutes—though if they are, then this is one hell of an intentionally hilarious book title.

 

11. Pole Position

11 pole position danica patrick - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In life and in auto racing, you always want to be in the pole position. Am I right?

 

10. Clean and Jerk

10 clean and jerk - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

This weightlifting event sounds like a service you might receive from an especially fastidious woman of the night.

 

9. Sticky Wicket

9-sticky-wicket-dirty-sports-terms-sexual-innuendo

In cricket, a “sticky wicket” is a wet and soggy playing field. (The field is sometimes called the wicket, even though, technically, the wicket is the set of three wooden poles the bowler is trying to knock over.) Taken out of context it sounds like something else entirely. Wink, wink.

 

8. Come Inside

8 come inside - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Sample baseball usage: “If this guy is going to be successful against these sluggers, he’s going to have to come inside on them all day.”

Sexual innuendo: quite obvious.

 

7. Threesome

7 golf threesome - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

In golf, it’s just three people playing a round together. In sex it’s…well, pretty much the same thing.

 

6. Double Team

6 double team - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

LeBron hates it when he gets double-teamed in basketball, and probably elsewhere as well.

 

5. Fisted

5 baseball fisted - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

If you’re a baseball fan, then you’ve probably heard this one. If you’re not a baseball fan, I swear I’m not making this up. When a batter hits a ball not on the fat part of the bat (that right there sounds dirty) but on the skinny part, down by his firsts, old-time announcers (and some newer ones) will sometimes say something like, “he fisted it to the shortstop.”

Fisted.

 

4. Penetrate the Defense

4 penetrate the lane - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

Penetrate is one of those words that really shouldn’t sound dirty. It’s a pretty technical-sounding word that literally means “succeed in forcing a way into or through.” Nevertheless, any time announcers talk about “good penetration,” you just have to giggle.

 

3. Penetrate the Back Field

3 penetrate the back field - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

The only thing funnier than hearing announcers talk about “penetrating the defense” in basketball is hearing them talk about “penetrating the back field” in football. Sure, we know that all they mean is that the defensive linemen are pushing their way past the line of scrimmage to put pressure on the QB, but we can’t help it.

 

2. Rear Naked Choke

2 rear naked choke - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

As if MMA wasn’t already erotic enough, they had to go and call this move the “rear naked choke.”

Tobias, you blow hard!

 

1. Facial

1 facial posterization - dirty sports terms sexual innuendo

When one basketball player goes right through another and dunks the ball “in his face,” people will sometimes call this getting a “facial”—which is unfortunate.

 




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