The 2013 college football season kicks off in just under two weeks. But before everyone gets preoccupied with the important storylines—like what Johnny Football ate for breakfast, or who will earn the right to lose to an SEC team in the BCS National Championship Game—we really should take a moment to pay tribute to one of the best things about college football: the creepy mascots.
Seriously, have you ever paid attention to these things? Pretty much any mascot is creepy almost by definition, but college football still takes the cake. And I’m not talking about weird team names here. You can chalk those up to the fact that college football has traditions dating back to the 1890s that just don’t make any sense today. I’m talking the actual mascots—the dudes dressed up in the costumes. Regardless of what they’re supposed to be, they don’t necessarily have to look so disturbing…and yet so many of them do.
But who am I kidding—you know what I’m talking about. So let’s just get to the countdown, shall we?