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The 13 Most Hilariously Embarrassing Moments of Alex Rodriguez
13. The Opt-Out Announcement
Toward the end of the 2007 baseball season, there was a lot of talk about whether Alex Rodriguez would exercise the opt-out clause in his ginormous contract in an attempt to milk even more money out of the game’s richest franchise.
Well, he did. And that was fine. What was not fine was the manner in which he announced his decision.
No, he didn’t do it live on ESPN. He just announced it during the 8th inning of the deciding game of the 2007 World Series between the Red Sox and Rockies…because he and agent Scott Boras are giant a-holes who don’t respect the game.
12. He Likes His Women Beefy
A-Rod cheated on his wife with a a stripper in Toronto in 2007? Not a big deal. I mean, it certainly was to his wife, who divorced him, but Rodriguez was hardly the first to get himself a little action on the road. What was interesting about this situation was the revelation that A-Rod apparently has a thing for (in the words of one unnamed stripper associate) the “she-male muscular type.”
Now, if it was just this one “mystery blonde” spotted with A-Rod in Toronto, we could dismiss that claim. But as we all know, A-Rod later went on to date WWE Dive Torrie Wilson, who definitely is the “muscular type.”
10. The Popcorn Incident
You know, if any other famous athlete were caught being fed popcorn by his girlfriend at a football game (in this case the 2011 Super Bowl), people would have a laugh and then move on. However, because it was A-Rod, the most vain man in the game, people laughed…and laughed…and laughed. And reportedly, A-Rod was pissed at Fox for, in his estimation, trying to embarrass him. (Which they probably were.)
9. Torre Tells All
In 2009, legendary Yankees manager Joe Torre released a memoir about his years in the Bronx. The most interesting thing about it? Yep, he kind of trashed his former third baseman. He said the dude completely monopolized attention inside the Yankees clubhouse. Moreover, when at the plate in big, pressure situations, Torre said A-Rod was often unable to “concern himself with getting the job done” because he was too worried about how he looked doing it.
8. The Benching
Last year A-Rod had the worst postseason performance of his career, which must have put a huge dent in his ego.
However, the mere fact that he started the postseason by going 1-12 at the plate probably didn’t dent his ego quite as much as the fact that manager Joe Girardi actually benched the guy with 640 home runs, replacing him in key hitting situations with Raul Ibanez.
7. The Infield Fly
Poor Alex must have dreaded visiting Toronto in 2007. Not only is that where New York Post paparazzi caught him with the aforementioned manly stripper, but it’s also where he did one of the most shameless things a ballplayer can do.
With two outs in the top of the 9th inning and the Yankees up 10-5—seriously, a five run lead in the 9th inning—A-Rod was running out an infield pop-up to Jays third baseman Howie Clark when he yelled either “MINE” or “I GOT IT” while passing him. As a result, Clark dropped the ball, and Jays shortstop John MacDonald—who is a pretty laid back guy, by all accounts—had to be forcibly prevented from tearing A-Rod a new a**hole.
6. The Details Magazine Spread
You know what real vanity is? It’s not merely being obsessed with what people think of you. It’s being so obsessed with yourself that you are oblivious to what people actually think of you.
Oh sure, vane people want others to love them, and they want to look good. But their own self-love blinds them.
I bring all this up, of course, because such vanity is the only way to possibly explain why on earth Alex Rodriguez would have agreed to this photo shoot for Details magazine in 2009. I mean, anyone else would have been like, “Dude, I am not going to kiss myself in the mirror.” But A-Rod was like, “Yeah, that sounds like a totally normal thing to do. Can I give myself a little tongue, too?”
5. The Centaur Revelation
According to one of A-Rod’s former lovers who spoke to Us Weekly in 2009 that the dude has not one but two paintings in which he is depicted as a mythical centaur hanging—where else?—above his bed.
Now, this is obviously hearsay. But I really want to believe it is true. Like, really really.
4. The Flirting Incident
As we already discussed, A-Rod’s 2012 postseason performance was so abysmal that Joe Girardi actually pinch hit for him in late-game situations. However, the fact that he was letting his team down in clutch situations didn’t bother Rodriguez enough that he didn’t take some time to flirt with a couple of swimsuit models during a game.
3. The Slap
The absolute most ridiculous thing A-Rod ever did on a baseball diamond? Well, that came during Game 6 of the historic 2004 ALCS.
You remember that series, right? The one in which the Red Sox came back from a 0-3 series hole to beat the Yanks in seven games before sweeping St. Louis for their first World Series title in forever.
Well, with the game on the line, A-Rod hit a slow roller between first base and the pitchers mound, and when pitcher Bronson Arroyo tried to tag him out before reaching first, the Yankees slugger slapped the ball out of his glove.
Fortunately the umpires huddled and got the call right.
2. Caught...the First Time
In 2009, intrepid investigative reporting by Selena Roberts and David Epstein of Sports Illustrated uncovered the fact that A-Rod had tested positive for steroids back in 2003. At first he denied the allegations, of course, and elected to slander the reporters. However, the truth eventually came to light and A-Rod eventually confessed that the pressure of his huge contract in Texas led him to do ‘roids for only three seasons.
Well, it turned out that A-Rod didn’t just do ‘roids from 2001-2003. He also did them…well, maybe throughout his entire career. Last year Rodriguez’s name popped in documents leaked from the Biogenesis PED clinic in Miami, and just two weeks ago MLB lowered the boom on this lying jerk by issuing a massive 211-game suspension.
Will he serve the entire thing? Probably not. But the league made its point, and it certainly didn’t help the guy’s image.