There are a handful of things you can count on to happen every year around this time. One, you will eat way more candy in a five-day period than any grown adult ever should. Two, Hollywood will release a handful of hastily-put-together horror movie sequels. Three, the hardworking cheerleading squads of the NFL will don sexy Halloween costumes. And, four, we will do a list featuring the very best of these sexy NFL cheerleader Halloween costumes. Because it’s our duty.
Now, before we get to this year’s list, we must confess something: this year there were not quite as many awesome costumes to choose from. Chalk it up to the fact that there were four teams with byes in Week 8 while two played in London, and the fact that Halloween is on a Thursday, which no doubt left some squads wondering when the appropriate time to observe the holiday would be.
Still, there were cheerleaders in costumes this year, and they were sexy as always. So this list is still going to be good.
With that, no more reading. Let’s get started…
I'm not sure what the Raiderettes were going for here, but you really can't go wrong with sexy school girl costumes.
35. Bloodied School Girl (Raiders)
You know, I think I prefer my Captain America to be female. (No offense, Chris Evans.)
34. Captain America (Cardinals)
"What was I for Halloween? A chocolate turd wrapped in tin foil. You?"
J/K, who doesn't love Hershey's Kisses?
33. The Hershey's Kiss (Cardinals)
In my experience, most women don't like people to think they're cows. This Patriots cheerleader, however, is obviously an exception.
32. Cow (Patriots)
I really don't know what this Arizona Cardinals cheerleader is supposed to be. Girl wearing a short cupcake print dress? Whatever, she's still attractive, so it counts.
31. Cupcake Girl (Cardinals)
Like our last Cardinals cheerleader, I really have no idea what this lovely lady is supposed to be. Rainbow Brite is my best guess. What's yours?
30. Rainbow Brite (Cardinals)
Is this Patriots cheerleader really supposed to be 80s Madonna? No clue. But that's my guess.
29. 80s Madonna (Patriots)
I was going to say that it's surprising that somebody would wear a Native American costume, given that some people mind find it offensive—just as I assume people of European decent might find it offensive if a Native American dressed up as a white person for Halloween.
Then I realized we're talking about a league that has a team called the Redskins. Compared to that, this is downright reverent.
28. Indian Princess (Patriots)
Yep, pretty much every squad had at least one person dressed as a Native American. Maybe you say it's a tribute to their culture, but even if that's true they'd probably rather get their land back that have NFL cheerleaders "honor" them.
27. Another Indian Princess (Cardinals)
Am I missing something? Who is this woman supposed to be?
26. Miscellaneous Super Hero (Cardinals)
This woman needs some headwear. I can't tell if she's Peter Pan or Kermit the Frog.
25. Peter Pan/Kermit the Frog (Cardinals)
The Cardinals had not one but two cheerleaders dressed up as pirates. This one went with the ornate pirate wench look...
24. Pirate One (Cardinals)
This one, meanwhile, just went straight old-fashioned pirate...which is much sexier.
23. Pirate Two (Cardinals)
The Titans had a bye in Week 8, but the cheerleaders didn't want to miss their opportunity to dress up, so they busted out the costumes in Week 7 against the 49ers.
22. Mini Mouse (Titans)
I guess this woman was going for ballerina or princess, or maybe ballerina-princess. Really, she just looks like a cheerleader in a tutu.
21. Ballerina/Princess (Cardinals)
This Pats cheerleader is either a jester, or the old sofa in your grandma's basement.
20. Jester (Patriots)
This one was probably part of a Titans Cheerleaders number and not an actual Halloween costume. But I'm counting it anyway, because I'm doing the writing. (And I asked my editor and he said it's okay.)
Editor’s Note: No he didn't.
19. Aerobics Girl (Titans)
Ah yes, there's only one thing healthier for little girls to fantasize about than Disney Princesses, and that's sexy Disney Princesses.
18. Sexy Snow White (Vikings)
Originally I thought this woman was a witch on account of the pointy hat, but I wondered why her outfit was white, yellow, and orange. Then I realized she's actually candy corn—err, sexy candy corn—which is kind of a cool costume.
17. Candy Corn (Cardinals)
Cute costume, but don't you think it's weird to dress up as the mascot of another team for Halloween?
16. Lioness (Patriots)
Every year there's at least one Marilyn Monroe, which is totally fine by me.
15. Marilyn Monroe (Titans)
Yeah, pretty much any costume is sexy if it shows off that much midriff.
14. Female Clark Kent/Superman (Patriots)
No wonder the prince went looking for her after she suddenly left the ball.
13. Sexy Cinderella (Cardinals)
Flamenco dancers: nobody's ever actually seen one, but everyone thinks they're sexy.
12. Flamenco Dancer (Titans)
These cheerleaders had the most fanciful costumes of all. They dressed up as people who get excited about the Jacksonville Jaguars!
11. Jaguars Cheerleader
Man of steel, woman of rubber.
10. Supergirl (Cardinals)
If the Titans were playing the Cowboys in Week 7 this would have been unacceptable. As it is they were playing the Niners, so I'll allow it.
9. Sexy Cowgirl (Titans)
When I was a kid, I always did wish Waldo was actually a sexy lady in a bikini-type outfit.
8. Sexy Waldo (Patriots)
That seems like a pretty impractical outfit for sailing the high seas.
7. Sailor (Vikings)
I guess this Cardinals cheerleader has been watching a lot of Game of Thrones this year.
6. Medieval Lady (Cardinals)
Sexy little Pinocchio gets top billing here, but we'd be remiss not to give a shout out to the sexy firefighter behind her.
5. Pinocchio (Vikings)
Officer, you'd better arrest me. And yes, I do have a weapon on me, but I'm not telling you where it is.
4. Sexy Cop (Vikings)
Unlike actual hippies of the 60s and 70s, it appears that this one shaves her legs.
3. Sexy Hippy (Vikings)
Sure she's sexy. But can she hogtie a calf in less than 30 seconds?
2. Sexy Cowgirl (Vikings)
This Catwoman costume is so remarkably similar to one we saw last year that I had to do a triple take and examine it closely to determine that it was, in fact, from this year.
It is. And it definitely is worthy of the top spot on our list.
1. Catwoman (Titans)
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