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21 Most Ridiculous Drunken Sports Fans of 2013

by: Esteban On  Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Tags:  Alcohol   Beer   Crazy Fans   Drunk Fans   Drunken Fans   Funny  

best of drunk sports fans 2013

Do you realize that there was a time—not all that long ago—when you could go to a sporting event, consume an inordinate amount of alcohol, make a complete ass of yourself, and not humiliate your mom and/or lose your job? Well it’s true. In 2003 only a handful of people had camera phones, and the images those things produced were terrible. Ten years later, everyone is carrying an HD video recorder around in their pocket at all times. And the result is that, if you get plastered and do something crazy, you will be on the internet.

Of course, despite the sheer volume of drunken shenanigans to be found on the web, there are always a few that stand out from the pack as truly spectacular. And today we’re honoring the drunken idiots that made a big impression on us in 2013.

Ready to laugh at a bunch of hilarious drunks? Okay then, follow me…

 

21. Dolphin Dancer

What can you say? Sometimes beer just makes you want to take your shirt off and lead your section in a dance number. We’ve all been there, right?

 

20. The Yankees Dancer

Normally this guy bangs his head to Megadeath, but apparently he’s got nothing against The Venga Boys.

 

19. The Table Dancer

If this is what this guy did when the Ravens made the Super Bowl, can you imagine what he did when they won it two weeks later?

 

18. The Jumper

When he was a kid and his mom asked him, “If your friends all jumped off a bridge would you do it too,” this Ravens fan answered, “uh, yeah.”

 

17. Feeling Light Cheese-Headed

Sometimes you cheer (and drink) so hard that you just pass right out.

 

16. The Kauffman Swimmer

This chick made a huge splash (see what I did there?) this summer when she went for a dip in the Kaufman Stadium fountains. Later it came out that her name is Jessica McCoy, she’s 25, from Iowa, and she lost her job at a bank because of this—which is to be expected, really.

You can see more pictures of Jessica’s escapade here.

 

15. The Fall Guy (Mets Edition)

mets fan falls down

Okay, so maybe this guy wasn’t even drunk. But if you were him, would you go around telling people this happened to you while stone-cold sober?

 

14. The Fall Guy (Vikings Edition)

Now this guy is definitely hammered. And the guy holding the phone was super excited he caught this spill on video.

 

13. Mr. Allegheny

When your team hasn’t been to the postseason in 20 years, you don’t want to pass up the opportunity to celebrate. And, when you get drunk enough, that means jumping in the Allegheny River.

(Don’t worry, he lived. His name is Dean Pasztor and he’s on Twitter.)

 

12. The Lost Ducks Fan

Okay, so this isn’t one of those instant gratification clips. You have to watch and let it build. Sure, there’s no single “punchline” moment, but how can you not love a guy who’s so drunk that he’s that clueless?

 

11. The Cardinals Pugilist

This was, without a doubt, one of the best fan fights of the year. Apparently this guy is a Cardinals fan who has just taken in a Cubs-Cards game at Wrigley.

Of course, it’s still a toss-up as to what’s more embarrassing: the drunk guy, or the dude in the background laughing like a little girl.

 

10. Mr. Pee Pants

When conservative midwestern farmers think of New Yorkers, this is the kind of guy they imagine—a loudmouth drunk who’s peed his pants.

 

9. The Branded Phanatic

Well, that’s insane.

 

8. Orville Redenbacher

drunk popcorn guy washington

This Washington State football fan simply was not satisfied with the rate of popcorn delivery via the conventional hand-to-mouth method, so he improvised.

Kudos, sir.

 

7. The Puker

Blue Jays fans quickly established themselves as contenders for the craziest, rudest, drunkest, and fightin-est in baseball this year. This guy was one of them.

 

6. The Red Sox Historians

Who needs Bob Costas to put things into historical perspective when you can have three drunk Boston guys who barely remember when they were born?

 

5. The Curmudgeon

I wouldn’t mess with this little guy. Would you? He’s probably been in a soccer riot or two in his day.

 

4. The Giants Guy

Let’s hope he ended up spilling the beer he was holding. From the looks of it, one more would have sent him to the hospital for a stomach-pumpin’.

 

3. The Horse Puncherer

horse punch english soccer fan

This 45-year-old Newcastle fan was recently given a year in jail for punching this police horse named Bud.

Sounds fair to me. What kind of a**hole punches a horse?

 

2. The Helmet Thief

drunk blackhawks fan steals helmet

Now that’s a souvenir. Way to go, wasted Hawks fan.

 

1. The Sprinter

Yep, the number one drunken idiot of the year is the Bears fan who ran into the pole while taking part in an ill-advised foot race on the sidewalk outside a bar.

If this were America’s Funniest Home Videos he’d get a giant novelty check for $1,000,000. However, this isn’t America’s Funniest Home Videos, and I’m not Bob Saget. So all he gets is our sincere thanks for taking one for the team and giving us all a great laugh.

You’re the best, drunken Bears fan!

 




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