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27 Olympic Uniforms More Insane than Team USA’s New Olympic Christmas Sweaters

by: Esteban On  Friday, January 24, 2014

crazy-uniforms-olympics-opening-ceremonies

Yesterday American fashion icon Ralph Lauren went on the Today show and unveiled the uniforms Team USA athletes would be wearing at the opening ceremonies for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi in two weeks. The verdict? Not so great. The unis are highlighted by a patchwork cardigan that looks like a Christmas sweater your aunt bought on clearance at Khol’s. And this, combined with the fact that it retails for a whopping $598, means Americans are not going to be caught dead wearing these things.

But hey, cheer up, America. Team USA’s new Olympic sweaters may be wacky, but they’re hardly the first ridiculous, over-the-top outfits to grace the Olympic red carpet. In fact, they wouldn’t even crack the top ten when it comes to insane Olympic clothing.

Don’t believe it? Just take a look at this list of crazy Olympic uniforms and see for yourself that it could have been so much worse.

 

27. Czech Republic – Sochi 2014

27-czech-republic-opening-ceremony-uniforms-2014-crazy-olympic-outfits

This is actually a tame look for the Czech Republic. Check out what they wore four years ago…

 

26. Czech Republic – Vancouver 2010

26 czech republic opening ceremony outfit 2010 - crazy olympic outfits

Holy crap, Czech Republic, take it easy on the Jackson Pollack camo.

 

25. Ukraine – London 2012

25 ukraine 2012 opening ceremony outfits - crazy olympic outfits

Well done, Ukraine. The men wore leisure suits and the women wore some kind of shirt-dress things.

 

24. Russia – London 2012

25 russia olympics uniform opening ceremony 2012 - crazy olympic outfits

Russian paisley is weird.

 

23. Spain – Beijing 2008

23 spain ketcup and mustard opening ceremonies 2008 - crazy olympic outfits

Team Spain had the ketchup & mustard look going in 2008.

 

22. New Zealand – London 2008

22 new zealand olympic bowling team shirts - crazy olympic outfits

Yep, bowling shirts. And they wore them again (though with a slightly different design) in 2012. Because apparently the people of New Zealand are crazy for bowling.

 

21. France – Beijing 2008

21-french-opening-ceremony-outfits-2008-crazy-olympic-outfits

The men look great. The women, on the other hand, are wearing berets (cool) and light gray kimono blazers with giant red kimono belts (not cool).

 

20. Japan – Athens 2004

20-japanese-opening-ceremony-outfits-2004-crazy-olympic-outfits

Honestly, I don’t even know what to say about this one.

 

19. United Kingdom – London 2012

19-great-britain-opening-ceremony-uniforms-2012-crazy-olympic-outfits

And let’s not forget that Team GB welcomed the world to London in 2012 wearing Elton John track suits…which was weird.

 

18. USA – Calgary 1988

18 usa closing ceremony outfit 1988 - crazy olympic outfits

These jackets were cool in 1988, but now they look like something your hipster friend would wear.

 

17. Poland – Beijing 2008

17 poland 2008 opening ceremony outfits - crazy olympic outfits

Nice dress. And hey, my grandma has some shoes like that, so…cool.

 

16. USA – Los Angeles 1984

usa-1984-opening-ceremony-track-suits-crazy-olympic-outfits

All the other teams wore nice outfits to the opening ceremonies in 1984, but the host country was like, “meh, whatever,” and just threw on a Levi Strauss track suit.

 

15. Canada – Lillehammer 1994

15-canada-opening-ceremony-uniform-1994-crazy-olympic-outfits

This looks like some sort of outfit from an alternate history in which the Soviet Union won the cold war and annexed the People’s Republic of Canada.

 

14. Morocco – Albertville 1992

14 morocco 1992 opening ceremony outfits - crazy olympic outfits

It’s like the head of the Moroccan Olympic committee went to the designer and said, “Look, I want every single one of our athletes to look like Lando Calrissian, okay?”

 

13. Russia – Sochi 2014

13-russian-opening-ceremony-outfits-2014-crazy-olympic-outfits

Putin wanted everyone to look like Santa Clause, and since you don’t f@#& with Putin, everyone is going to look like Santa Clause.

 

12. Australia – Barcelona 1992

12-australian-opening-ceremony-outfits-1992-crazy-olympic-outfits

The Tommy Bahama safari shirts are nice, but what really makes these outfits are the shoes and socks. So classy.

 

11. Czech Republic – London 2012

11-czech-republic-opening-ceremony-uniform-2012-crazy-olympic-outfits

Get it? Galoshes and umbrellas—’cause it rains all the time in London.

 

10. Germany – Sochi 2014

10-germany-opening-ceremony-outfits-2014-crazy-olympic-outfits

Is it just me, or is Germany trying a little too hard to prove they are totally fun and easy-going?

 

9. USA – Sarajevo 1984

9 usa opening ceremony outfit 1984 - crazy olympic outfits

The most insane thing about these goofy yeehaw cowboy getups? They’re recycled! Team USA wore almost the exact same thing four years earlier in Lake Placid.

 

8. Mexico – London 2012

8 mexico opening ceremony outfit 2012 - crazy olympic outfits

This is pretty much the Mexican equivalent of American’s wearing cowboy outfits—an exaggeration of a Mexican stereotype, like the decor you’d find in some restaurant called “El Taquito Loco” in Davenport, Iowa. But hey, at least it’s colorful.

 

7. Hungary – Beijing 2008

7-hungary-opening-ceremony-outfits-2008-crazy-olympic-outfits

“Hey, let’s have the men where sharp creamy white blazers and the women wear white suits that look like they’ve all been shot hundreds of times!”

 

6. Canada – Barcelona 1992

6-canada-opening-ceremony-barcelona-1992-crazy-olympic-outfits

God the 90s were AMAZING.

 

5. Canada – Beijing 2008

5 canada closing ceremony uniform 2008 - crazy olympic outfits

The Canucks continued their proud tradition of wearing garish patterns at the Olympics when they wore these bad-ass pajamas to the closing ceremonies in Beijing.

 

4. Japan – Sydney 2000

4 japan 2000 opening ceremony outfits - crazy olympic outfits

Hey, remember when the Japanese wore those crazy rainbow capes? That was awesome.

 

3. Norway – Sochi 2014

3 norway curling team uniforms 2014 - crazy olympic outfits

Here’s what the Norwegian curling team—the fashion icons of Vancouver 2010—will be wearing this year in Sochi. They’re kind of amazing, but after looking at them for 15 seconds I think I’m having a seizure.

 

2. Malaysia – London 2012

2 malaysia 2012 opening ceremony outfits - crazy olympic outfits

“Wouldn’t it be amazing if we all wore tiger-print pope hats?”

 

1. Canada – Calgary 1988

1-canada-opening-ceremony-uniform-1988-crazy-olympic-outfits

For the last couple of Olympics Team Canada has been one of the best-dressed contingents. However, we all need to remember that this wasn’t always the case.

 




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