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The 15 Hottest Countries at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics

by: Esteban On  Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Hottest Female Athletes Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics

We’ve already given you our take on the hottest individual female athletes at the 2014 Winter Olympics. However, everyone knows the Olympics aren’t just about individual achievement. They’re also about teamwork and representing your country. So it’s only fitting that we also rank the hottest countries at the Sochi Games.

Our methodology? Oh, it’s very scientific. First we used advanced logarithms and face recognition software to determine the three most attractive athletes from each country. Then we assigned each athlete a numerical score based on the central limit theorem and averaged these scores together. Finally, we weighted each country according to latitude, longitude, and population density to arrive at their final score.*

The results? They are guaranteed accurate to within 1.9%. So let’s take a look, shall we?

*Obviously we did none of this, as it is complete nonsense. This list is purely subjective.

 

15. Sweden

60 SWEDEN

Personally I expected Sweden to rank a lot higher than 15th. I mean it’s Sweden, the land of tiny meatballs, reasonably priced home furnishing, and the world famous bikini teams. However, take a look and I think you’ll agree with the ranking. They’re just having a down year.

 

15. Sweden: Erika Grahm

59 Sweden - erika grahm - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

As you can clearly see, Erika here is a ski jumper.

 

15. Sweden: Maria Pietilae

58 Sweden - maria pietilae-holmner - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

I have no idea how good Maria is as alpine skiing, but she looks like a world champion press-conference holder.

 

15. Sweden: Christina Bertrup

57 Sweden - christina bertrup - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

There are an inordinate number of gorgeous curlers in Sochi this year. Christina is just one of them.

 

14. Slovenia

56 SLOVENIA

Now here’s an upset. Who would have picked Slovenia, a country of just over two million people, to beat perennial powerhouse Sweden? That’s exactly what they did, though, thanks to a couple snowboarders and a skier.

 

14. Slovenia: Gloria Kotnik

55 Slovenia - Gloria Kotnik - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

If you want to meet cute girls, become an Olympic snowboarder.

 

14. Slovenia: Katarina Lavtar

54 Slovenia - Katarina Lavtar - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

This is Katarina on the job. Can you imagine what she looks like when all dressed up for a night on the town?

 

14. Slovenia: Tina Maze

53 Slovenia - Tina Maze - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Behold your 2014 women’s downhill champion, Tina Maze. She’s gorgeous and talented.

 

13. Netherlands

52 NETHERLANDS

No surprise here. Holland may not be a big country, but it’s packed with beautiful speed-skating women.

 

13. Netherlands: Antoinette De Jong

51 Netherlands - antoinette de jong - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Antoinette failed to medal in the Ladies 3000m. Of course, she is just 18 years old.

 

13. Netherlands: Marrit Leenstra

50-Netherlands-marrit-leenstra-hottest-countries-at-sochi-2014-winter-olympics

She may not be one of the best Dutch speed skaters, but she is one of the cutest.

 

13. Netherlands: Rianne De Vries

49 Netherlands - rianne de vries - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

But hey, not all the Dutch women are speed skaters. Some, like Rianne here, are short track speed skaters.

 

12. Spain

48 SPAIN

Spain is not exactly a winter sports powerhouse. They do have the Pyrenees along the border with France, so you’d expect them to produce a few good skiers maybe, but certainly not enough to make this list.

Nevertheless, here we are. So take a look…

 

12. Spain: Victoria Padial Hernandez

47 Spain - Victoria Padial Hernandez - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

I used to be of the opinion that biathlon was dumb. Then I discovered Victoria Padial Hernandez, and now I think it’s fantastic.

 

12. Spain: Katia Griffiths

46 Spain - Katia Griffiths - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Katia probably won’t win any medals in freestyle skiing, but hey, winning isn’t everything.

 

12. Spain: Sara Hurtado

45 Spain - Sara Hurtado - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Sara is an ice dancer, and judging by her costume they bring in plenty of flamenco.

 

11. Great Britain

44 GREAT BRITAIN

Great Britain is another country that’s not exactly a winter sports powerhouse. However, they always send a sizable contingent to the Winter Games, and this year the female athletes among them are definitely above-average in the looks department.

 

11. Great Britain: Aimee Fuller

43 Great Britain - Aimee Fuller - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

I’m not sure, but I think this snowboarder’s sponsor might be Red Bull.

 

11. Great Britain: Rowan Cheshire

Rowan Cheshire at the kit allocation for the winter Olympics taking place in Russia

Apparently free-style skiing is pretty popular amongst gorgeous young British women.

 

11. Great Britain: Penny Coomes

41 Great Britain - Penny Coomes - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Penny Coomes: yet another reason why it might not hurt to check out the ice dancing competition this year.

 

10. Switzerland

40 SWITZERLAND

Switzerland is the size of a postage stamp, but the entire country is located in the middle of the Alps, so pretty much everyone is a winter sports expert. In fact, I think the kids take bobsleds to school.

In any case, their Olympians this year? Pretty damn attractive.

 

10. Switzerland: Carmen Schaefer

39 Switzerland - Carmen Schaefer - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Can you guess what sport Carmen plays?

If you said curling, you are correct.

 

10. Switzerland: Mirjam Jaeger

38 Switzerland - Mirjam Jaeger - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Okay, now guess what sport Mirjam here plays.

Yep, that’s right: freestyle skiing.

 

10. Switzerland: Lara Gut

37 Switzerland - Lara Gut - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Okay, no more guessing. I’ll just tell you: alpine skiing. In fact, Lara is the 2014 women’s downhill bronze medalist.

 

 

9. Italy

36 ITALY

Of course Italy is going to make the list. It’s Italy.

 

9. Italy: Anna Cappellini

35 Italy - Anna Cappellini - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Like I said earlier, you might want to take a look at the ice dancing competition this year.

 

9. Italy: Silvia Bertagna

34 Italy - Silvia Bertagna - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Seriously, why are there so many gorgeous freestyle skiers and snowboarders?

 

9. Italy: Stefania Berton

33 Italy - Stefania Berton - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Stefania didn’t win a medal in the pairs competition, but damn did she look fantastic.

 

8. Czech Republic

32 CZECH REPUBLIC

The Czech Republic is a small country of just 10 million or so people. However, about 75% of the women there are stone cold foxes. Thus, as long as the country sends at least 10 to the Games they’re going to have a pretty good-looking group.

Don’t take my word for it, though. See for yourself…

 

8. Czech Republic: Eva Puskarcikova

31 Czech Republic - eva puskarcikova - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Yet another gorgeous biathlete to make me re-think my position on the stupidity of cross-country skiing and shooting guns.

 

8. Czech Republic: Klara Krizova

30 Czech Republic - klara krizova - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

True story: 50% of Czech women look exactly like this.

It truly is a magical place.

 

8. Czech Republic: Gabriela Soukalova

29 czech republic - gabriela soukalova - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Okay fine, I’m a convert. Biathlon is the best.

 

7. Australia

28 AUSTRALIA

Although 90% of Australia is a blistering hot wasteland, they do still produce their fair share of Winter Olympians.

Good-looking ones, too…

 

7. Australia: Emily Bamford

27 Australia - Emily Bambord - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Keep an eye out for this slalom specialist.

 

7. Australia: Torah Bright

26 Australia - Torah Bright - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Torah already has one snowboard halfpipe gold, and this year she’s probably going to win her second.

 

7. Australia: Danielle OBrien

25 Australia - Danielle O'Brien - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

That’s not a typo. This gorgeous ice dancer apparently spells her name without the apostrophe.

 

6. Germany

24 GERMANY

I wasn’t surprised that Germany made the list. However, I was surprised that they ranked so high.

Then again, maybe that’s just because I’m old enough to remember when nobody believed the East German women were actually females.

 

6. Germany: Tanja Kolbe

23 Germany - tanja kolbe - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Yep, another ice dancer. And a very flexible one, too.

 

6. Germany: Viona Harrer

22 Germany - Viona Harrer - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

From ice dancing to hockey goalies, Germany just has it going on this year.

 

6. Germany: Christina Geiger

21 Germany - Christina Geiger - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

And let’s not forget alpine skiing. Germany is kicking ass there, too…at least in the looks department.

 

5. Austria

20 AUSTRIA

You expect Austria to win a lot of medals at the Winter Olympics, as they are one of the world’s alpine superpowers. However, I was quite unaware that Austrian women were so good-looking. Maybe I should take a vacation to Salzburg this summer?

 

5. Austria: Ina Meschik

19 Austria - Ina Meschik - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

I’m not sure, but I think Ina might be a snowboarder.

 

5. Austria: Lisa Theresa Hauser

18 Austria - Lisa Theresa Hauser - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Here’s yet another gorgeous competitor from biathlon, my new favorite sport.

 

5. Austria: Anna Fenninger

17 Austria - Anna Fenninger - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Of course this is Austria we’re talking about, so there’s got to be a gorgeous alpine skier, too.

 

4. United States

16 USA

Coming in a respectable fourth is the good old U.S. of A. I would have expected them to place a little higher given the number of athletes they sent, but unlike the actual Olympics, fourth-place on this list hardly relegates the American women to obscurity.

 

4. United States: Aja Evans

15 USA - aja evans - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Not even a stupid Instagram filter can obscure the fact that Aja is one stunning bobsledder.

 

4. United States: Sarah Hendrickson

14 USA - Sarah Hendrickson - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Sarah Hendrickson is your classic All-American girl nextdoor…who also just so happens to be an Olympic ski jumper.

 

4. United States: Gracie Gold

2014 Winter Olympic Games - Season 2014

I’d say Gracie Gold has to be one of the most gorgeous Olympic figure skaters of all-time. It’s a shame nobody has made that list.

Oh, wait.

 

3. Canada

12 CANADA

O, Canada.

Seriously, what are they putting in the water up there? Their female athletes are almost as gorgeous as they are talented—and all from a Country with about fewer people than the State of California.

 

3. Canada: Rosalind Groenewoud

11 Canada - rosalind groenewoud - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

I guess Rosalind is kind of attractive…if you women with beautiful complexions, full red lips, and stunning blue eyes.

 

3. Canada: Justine Dufour-Lapointe

10 Canada - Justine-Dufour-Lapointe - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

I chose to highlight women’s moguls gold medalist Justine Dufour-Lapointe here, but I could just have easily selected one of her two sisters who are also competing at the 2014 Winter Olympics.

Seriously, can you imagine the bragging the Dufour-Lapointe parents can pull off? It must be epic.

“Hey, did you hear? My kid is going to the Olympics!” 

“Oh really? Just one?” 

 

3. Canada: Tessa Virtue

9 Canada - tessa virtue - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Just in case you haven’t gotten the message yet: watch ice dancing.

 

2. Norway

8 NORWAY

Move over, Sweden. Norway is now the most ridiculously sexy Scandinavian country. You snooze, you lose.

 

2. Norway: Hege Bokko

7 Norway - hege bokko - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Hege here is just 22 years old, but this is already her second Olympics. She finished 10th and 14th in two races in Vancouver four years ago.

 

2. Norway: Therese Johaug

6 Norway - Therese Johaug - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

This stunning Norwegian just barely missed out on the bronze in the women’s cross-country skiathlon over the weekend. Luckily she already has one gold medal to her name from the 4x5km relay in 2010.

 

2. Norway: Silje Norendal

5 Norway - Silje Norendal - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Cross-country skiing may be Norway’s bread and butter at the Winter Games, but their hottest Olympian is slopestyle snowboarder Silje Norendal.

 

1. Russia

4 RUSSIA

Man, I know Putin really wanted to kick ass at Russia’s first Olympics since it hosted the Summer Games in 1980, but I had no idea that also entailed winning “sexiest country” honors from Total Pro Sports.

Honestly, Mr. President, we’re flattered.

 

1. Russia: Elena Ilinykh

3 Russia - Elena  Ilinykh - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Honestly, it was hard to pick just three Russian Olympians. However, since I had to limit myself, I went with Elena Ilinykh as one of them just for a bit of variety.

 

1. Russia: Alena Zavarzina

2 Russia - alina zavarzina - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

Of course, snowboarder Alena Zavarzina was a no-brainer. She’s pretty good-looking, don’t you think?

 

1. Russia: Anna Sidorova

1 Russia - anna sidorova - hottest countries at sochi 2014 winter olympics

And of course, last but not least, is Russian curling skip Anna Sidorova. If she doesn’t make you want to watch a bunch of women play ice shuffle board, nothing will.

 




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