1. The Brackets
The brackets as a gambling device are fun enough, I guess. It’s fun to fill them out with no clue what you’re doing, only to find out that San Diego State probably won’t upset Syracuse, Ohio State, Florida, and Kansas to get to the championship game.
But the most clueless participant in a bracket pool WILL win, so there’s no point in even playing. You might as well just hand the receptionist or some hipster IT guy your cash on March 15.
HOWEVER, the brackets, as trivial as they are, give legitimacy to the event. When everyone’s involved, it’s not treasonous to take a three-hour lunch break on a Friday and turn a lunch beer into four lunch Tuaca shots. You can watch the games on the internet during conference calls, perking up only when you hear your name mentioned. The bracket says to most employers and offices, “Sports is more important than work for the next few Thursdays and Fridays. So let’s ease up for the good of morale…Which means we all have carte blanche to scream at the TV insulting overwhelmed 19 year-olds from Minnesota.”
AND THAT IS WHY MARCH MADNESS IS THE BEST SPORTING EVENT IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.