Finally, the 2014 FIFA World Cup is here! For the next month the greatest soccer players in the world (well, most of them) will gather in Brazil to compete for the game’s ultimate prize, and joining them, of course, will be hundreds of thousands of rabid fans.
Who will win? No idea. Who has the hottest fans? Now that I can speak to.
In the list that follows, you’ll find all 32 teams taking part in the 2014 World Cup ranked according to the hotness of their fans. My methods? Oh, they’re very scientific, and you probably wouldn’t even understand all the statistical jargon, so I’m not even going to bother explaining it. Just trust me—they’re legit.
Ready to see what each country brings to the table? Then let’s get to it.
Sorry, Japan, somebody had to be last.
But hey, better to be last in these very important rankings than not be ranked at all, right?
Honestly, I expected Nigeria to rank a little bit higher. After all, it is the seventh-most populous country on earth.
Then again, it's not like the Nigerian fans aren't lovely.
Nigeria is 21 times more populous than Honduras, but I've discovered that when it comes to the hotness of soccer fans, population has almost nothing to do with it.
And really, with Honduras we're just scratching the surface of all the hot soccer fans Latin America has so offer.
But their World Cup fans are sitting toward at the bottom of the totem pole.
The ladies of Cameroon get bonus points for their excellent wardrobe...
Though sometimes they just wear regular street clothes.
Not exactly sure what's going on with the devil horns and and red ears.
26. South Korea
But apparently the women of South Korea don't leave the house without a bold hair accessory.
26. South Korea
I'm not surprised to learn that there are really hot women in Algeria, since there are really hot women everywhere.
I am a little surprised—pleasantly, I might add—that it was so easy to find pictures of hot Algerian soccer fans, though.
Meanwhile, #24 came as no shock at all. Anybody who knows anything about world geography knows the Balkans are a powder keg of hot women.
24. Bosnia and Herzegovina
Who is that? That is the supermodel girlfriend of Manchester City/Bosnia striker Edin Dzeko.
You may have seen her on our list of the hottest World Cup WAGs.
24. Bosnia and Herzigovina
Look, Ivory Coast ladies, I don't want to tell you how to live, but it's customary to do your face paint before you get to the stadium.
23. Ivory Coast
Then again, you're all pretty fine. So on second thought just do whatever you want.
23. Ivory Coast
So much for the stereotype of English people having bad teeth.
These ladies probably work for some promotional company. But I'm sure they also really do root for England, so they count.
I appreciate the effort, but I'm not sure you're supposed to use the American Flag as a bikini top.
Bikini tops that look like the American Flag are fine, though. (Especially when they're so filled out.)
Not a bad showing from France, but we know they can do better. Have you seen their rugby fans?
Well, okay, maybe the French soccer fans are just as good.
I mean no disrespect to this lovely woman, who is fantastic, but I honestly expected Switzerland to rank higher.
After all, the Swiss are basically just rich Germans, and rich people are usually better looking than regular people because they can afford all the smoke and mirrors.
I've been eating their fruit for years, but I had no idea their women were so fantastic.
I think I may be vacationing in Santiago some time soon.
Or, you know, maybe I should take a trip to Ecuador.
Yes, I'm definitely going to Ecuador.
When it comes to on-field potential, Ivory Coast is probably the top African squad in the World Cup.
However, in the hot fans department, the Black Stars are tops.
Well done, Ghana.
You're probably saying, really? Belgium?
But just wait...
(So this is probably some beauty contestant, but anybody who wears a Belgium bikini on a runway is probably also a supporter of the national soccer team.)
It's certainly no surprise that Spain cracked the top 16...
If anything, it's surprising that they don't rank higher. Obviously this bodes well for the rest of the list.
This is not what all the Greek chicks in My Big Fat Greek Wedding looked like at all.
Hell, this woman looks like a Greek Sophia Vergara.
This one is a bit of an upset. Don't get me wrong, 12th place isn't bad...
But I expected Croatia to rank higher.
High-waisted jeans are back in style in North America, but apparently southern Europe is stuck in 1999. (And to be clear, I'm fine with that.)
Yep. Italians are hot.
This lovely woman proves that you don't have to wear a skimpy bikini to be a hot soccer fan.
That being said, it never hurts to put on a tube top.
I knew Germany were among the favorites to win the tournament, but I had no idea they had fans who were this hot.
I mean, seriously, well done, Germany.
Just as with Belgium, right now you're probably thinking, really, Costa Rica? What's so special about Costa Rica?
8. Costa Rica
Well, this is what's so special about Costa Rica. Look at that beautiful landscape!
8. Costa Rica
Whatever the sport, whatever the list, if it has something to do with hot women, Australia is there.
Really, Australia, you've outdone yourselves.
The dark horse of the hot World Cup fans rankings? It's definitely Iran.
Don't get me wrong, I knew there were a lot of gorgeous Persian women. I just didn't expect to see them dressed like this.
(I don't know if you follow current events, but if you walked around the streets of Tehran like this you'd be arrested and probably sentenced to 10 years in prison.)
Certainly no surprise here. Dutch women are just ridiculous hot.
Of course, the hottest Dutch soccer fan of them all just so happens to be married to one of the soccer team's biggest stars. This is Wesley Sneijder's crazy hot wife, Yolanthe.
Yes, she too is on our list of hottest World Cup WAGs. (Spoiler alert: she's #5)
Colombia doesn't always make the World Cup, but when they do their fans are crazy hot.
Portugal is a country of just 10 million people...
...which means there are 5 million women...
...and apparently every single one of them is smoking hot.
I'm going to be honest: I assumed, when I started working on this little project, that Brazil would take the top spot.
After all, this is the country who gave us Carnival and the Brazilian wax.
But as hot as Brazilian soccer fans are, they're still not quite as hot as the fans of their arch rivals...
That's right. Argentina take the top spot in our rankings of hot World Cup Fans. And these women here are normal-looking.
This is Dora Noemí Kerchen, a model/actress/singer/tv host better known in Argentina as Dorismar. She's kinda hot.
And this is Pamela David. She's not a singer, but she is a model/acterss/tv host. And, like Dorismas, she's a huge soccer fan.
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