Tour de France Stage 2 Winner Tries to Kiss Podium Girl, Gets Denied (Video)
Aussie Rules Footballer Works Out His Differences With Another Player by Strangling Him (Video)
Okay. We always hear about how rugby players and Aussie rules footballers are tougher than athletes from any other sport. But did you know they are also much, much more murderous than athletes in any other sport, save for maybe Paralympic sprinters and NFL tight ends?
Brian Lake tried to strangle Drew Petrie during a match last week. And despite this being, you know, ATTEMPTED MURDER, Lake is only looking at sanctions from the league itself, and not from the, you know, ACTUAL AUTHORITIES.
Here’s the charming clip:
The chokee, Petrie, said in regards to the incident, “I’m OK with it. [It's a] physical game, things happen in games. … We managed to have a bit of a tussle there for a moment and got up and got on with the game.”
To paraphrase, “He tried to murder me, and my life flashed before my eyes, and I realized I’d never even seen Ayers Rock in person or an AC/DC concert. But I have to act like it’s not a big deal because when I joined the league, I signed a blood pact saying that I would represent myself as the toughest mofo in the world. And I don’t want to be sued for breach of contract.”