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David Luiz Gives Tearful Apology to the People of Brazil for Their Loss to Germany (Video)

by: Penn Collins On  Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Tags:  Blowout   Brazil   Germany   Semifinals   World Cup  

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As you may have heard by now, Brazil got quite the flogging from Germany, losing 7-1. Losing by more than 3 goals in soccer generally requires some extraordinary explanation/apologizin’ from the losing team to its fans.

Losing by 6 when you’re the Cup favorite? The players should have to throw the citizens a parade.

Since that would be too many people to provide a parade to, team captain David Luiz did the next best thing: He cried and cried and cried and apologized on television. Possibly because he felt the team owed it to their motherland, probably because he wants to demonstrate contrition before an angry mob finds out where he lives.

It’s not clear what he’s saying, but my guy tells me it’s something like this:

“I’m sorry we suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkked.” Only it lasts for sixty seconds, while the tears just keep flowin’.

I’m also imagining that, following this interview, a goat wearing a vest that read simply “The Brazilian People” was escorted into the locker room to bite every Brazil player’s genitals.

Oh, and if you’re still wondering, this is what David Luiz was REALLY saying durng his interview, via Business Insider:

“I just wanted to give joy to the people who suffer so much. Unfortunately we could not, sorry everyone, all Brazilians. I just wanted to see people smiling. Everyone knows how important it was for me. I wanted to see everyone happy. [Germany] were better prepared. It is a day of great sadness and a lot of learning too.”

Touching stuff.

 




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