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Johnny Manziel’s Girlfriend (Maybe) Can Shotgun a Beer Like a Champ (Video)

by: Penn Collins On  Wednesday, July 23, 2014

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I’m sure the Cleveland Browns front office is just charmed to shit by this piece of breaking news. Colleen Crowley, a TCU student who may or may not think she’s a model on Instagram, has uploaded a video of herself in a bikini shotgunning some Bud Light. She’s in college, so being in a bikini and binge drinking isn’t particularly noteworthy.

Here’s the film:

What is noteworthy is that she’s been taking up company with Mr. Jonathan Football Manziel, who seems to keep demonstrating time and time again that, despite his superior on-field decision-making, he can’t seem to find a decent responsible human being to hang out with to save his life.

Johnny: (I know you’re reading this, Johnny.) Hang out with adults. People more mature than you. Which is pretty much everyone but the ten people you’ve been photographed hanging out with in the past few months. No money phones, no Bieber, no rolled up dollar bills. Sleep with college students. But don’t date them.

Date Gisele! No. She’s taken. Maybe Jennifer Lawrence? She’s got her act together. And you can probably beat up that X-Men kid she’s been dating.

Problem solved.