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40 Ridiculous Athlete Food Products

by: Esteban On  Monday, August 11, 2014
Tags:  Athletes   Endorsement Deals   Food   Funny  

ATHLETE FOOD PRODUCTS

Everyone knows one of the best things about being a professional athlete is getting the to create your very own food products with your likeness on the label. It’s pretty much what every little kid dreams of (right after all the money, cars, houses, and women).

Of course, not every pro athlete gets a condiment with his picture on the label. You usually must be really good at what you do. Or, at the very least, you must have a funny name.

Today we’re going to take a look at some of the most memorable athlete food products of all time (that I could find on the internet). Is there one that you were particularly fond of that’s not listed here? Well, this list isn’t even close to being comprehensive. By all means, chime in with a comment below and share your knowledge.

 

40. Ripken Gourmet Burgers

ripken gourmet burgers (cal ripken) - athletes with their own foods

Dry-aged for superior taste? Cal Ripken-approved? I bet these are the best frozen burgers in the world!

 

39. Classic Dupuis Dijon

classic dupuis dijon (pascal dupuis) - athletes with their own foods

This one works on every level. Pascal Dupuis plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins, so the mustard and black label are the team colors, plus Dupuis Dijon just rolls off the tongue.

 

38. Red Grange Milk Chocolate Nut Bar

red grange milk chocolate bar (red grange) - athletes with their own foods

I could be wrong, but it looks to me like Stowell’s was trying to copy Curtiss’s Baby Ruth with this one.

Of course, unlike the Baby Ruth, which supposedly was not named after the baseball player (yeah right), this one was explicitly named after legendary Bears halfback (and dapper son of a bitch) Red Grange.

 

37. Dale Jr's Big Mo'

big mo (dale earnhardt jr) - athletes with their own foods

Dale Jr’s Big Mo’ment? Is it just me, or is that really lame?

 

36. Stevie's Stars

stevie's stars (steve yzerman cereal) - athletes with their own foods

It’s got Steve Yzerman on the box and 13 vitamins and minerals, which is probably some sort of record. What more could you want in a breakfast cereal?

 

35. Hull-O's

hull-os (brett hull) - athletes with their own foods

Brett Hull may have scored 49 more goals in his career than Steve Yzerman, but his cereal has one less vitamin or mineral, and it lacks marshmallows. So when it comes to breakfast, I’m going with Stevie Y.

 

34. Machado's Salsa

machado's salsa

Don’t bother looking for the “hot” Manny Machado salsa. The Orioles superstar third baseman wanted to keep things simple, so he only made a “mild” and a “medium.”

Bold move, Machado.

 

33. Miggy's Salsa

miguel cabrera (miggy's salsa) - athletes with their own foods

You know who’s not afraid to crank up the heat? Miguel Cabrera. His salsa comes in mild, medium, and hot—though in fairness, they probably went with three just so they could call this product line “the Triple Crown of Salsa,” which is awesome.

Oh, and in case you’re looking at this photo of Miggy’s salsa and thinking it looks an awful lot like Machado’s Salsa, there’s a reason for that. Both are made by PLB Sports, which is pretty much the biggest player in athlete-branded foods today.

I should also mention that proceends from Miggy’s salsa benefit charity, but not Machado’s. He’s not rich enough for that kind of thing…yet.

 

33. The Melo

the mel (carmelo anthony) - athletes with their own foods

If I were picking a name for a Carmelo Anthony candy bar, I would have gone with “Melo-Licious” or “Melo Crunch”—something like that. But “The Melo” isn’t bad.

 

32. Isiah Bar

isiah candy bar (isiah thomas) - athletes with their own foods

I’m going to give this one the benefit of the doubt and say it was probably 20 years old when the photo was taken.

 

30. Grönk Flakes

gronk flakes (rob gronkowski) - athletes with their own foods

From the makers of Machado’s and Miggy’s Salsa come Grönk Flakes, which come in one of the most amazing boxes you’ll ever see.

 

29. Sugarpova

sugarpova (maria sharapova) - athletes with their own foods

This is a really random product line, but you can’t deny the appeal of the product. That’s some of the best-looking candy packaging I’ve ever seen.

 

28. TO's

to's (terrell owens) - athletes with their own foods

Well this one was a no brainer, wasn’t it?

 

27. Terrell Davis' Mile High Salute Bar-B-Que Sauce

terrell davis mile high salute bar-b-que sauce (terrell davis) - athletes with their own foods

Apparently Terrell Davis’s BBQ sauce came in original and spicy, because Terrell was all about the variety.

 

26. Ruth's Home Run

babe ruth's home run candy bar (babe ruth) - athletes with their own foods

The Baby Ruth was supposedly not named after The Great Bambino, but this one obviously was.

I wonder if you can still take this wrapper to Dick’s and get that “Babe Ruth Home Run Baseball”?

 

25. Ryan Miller's Kick-Save Krunch

ryan miller's kick save krunch (ryan miller) - athletes with their own foods

Kick-Save Krunch sounds pretty tasty. Then you look at the box and realize it’s just generic Cheerios.

 

24. The Kirby Puckett Bar

kirby puckett bar (kirby puckett) - athletes with their own foods

People just need to stop unwrapping these vintage candy bars. No good comes of it.

 

23. Dale Jr Foods Potato Chips

dale jr foods potato chips (dale earnhardt jr) - athletes with their own foods

Dale Jr doesn’t just have a line of potato chips. He’s got an entire line of foods. Because he’s a really big deal.

 

22. Bubby Bar

bubby candy bar (bubby brister) - athletes with their own foods

Hopefully Steelers fans living in Missouri read the fine print before ordering their Bubby Brister 2.3 color action posters. Those babies were subject to a 5.725% sales tax in the “Show Me” state.

 

21. Mr. Big Deal

mr big deal (alexander ovechkin) - athletes with their own foods

Technically, this one is more of an endorsement than a separate product, since Mr. Big already existed. But hey, Ovie’s face was on the wrapper, so it counts.

 

20. Flutie Flakes

flutie flakes (doug flutie) - athletes with their own foods

Like I said in the introduction, you either have to be really good or have the perfect name to get your own food product. And whether or not you thought Doug Flutie was really good, he definitely had a great name for a frosted corn flake cereal.

 

19. Real Deal BBQ Sauce

evander holyfield real deal bbq sauce (evander holyfield) - athletes with their own foods

Terrell Davis was born and raised in San Diego and played football in Denver. Evander Holyfield is from Alabama and lives in Georgia.

When it comes to athlete BBQ sauces, I’m going with Evander.

 

18. The Randall Bar

randall bar (randall cunningham) - athletes with their own foods

I just love the fact that Randall Cunningham’s amazing high top was forever immortalized on this candy bar wrapper.

 

17. Chris Osgood's Championship Cereal

chris osgood championship cereal (chris osgood) - athletes with their own foods

Is it just me, or is it not kind of sad that they couldn’t license the Red Wings logo for the front of this box?

 

16. Muhammad Ali's Crisp Crunch

muhammad ali crisp cruch candy bar by wilbur chocolate company (muhammad ali) - athletes with their own foods

Sure these were good, but were they the greatest?

 

15. Hasek Hot Sauce

hasek hot sauce (dominic hasek) - athletes with their own foods

I’ve got nothing against alliteration, but I would have gone with “Dominator Hot Sauce” just because Dominator was such an awesome nickname.

 

14. Ken Griffey, Jr. Bar

ken-griffey-jr-chocolate-bar-ken-griffey-jr-athletes-with-their-own-foods

A stunning likeness, isn’t it? (Incidentally, that looks a lot like the famous Upper Deck KGJ rookie card, doesn’t it?)

 

13. Ochocino's

ochocinco's (chad johnson) - athletes with their own foods

I’m pretty sure Chad Johnson changed his name to Ochocinco just for this awesome breakfast cereal.

 

12. Jerrod's All-Pro Mayo

jerod's all-pro mayo

When you’re a professional athlete and your last name is Mayo, you have to come out with a line of gourmet mayonnaise spreads. It’s the law.

 

11. Shaq Soda

shaq soda (shaquille o'neal) - athletes with their own foods

You can thank Arizona (the tea people) for this bit of genius. But of course, it’s hardly their only foray into the athlete-themed beverage market…

 

10. Golden Bear Lemonade

golden bear lemonade (jack nicklaus arizona lemonade) - athletes with their own foods

Does anyone else think “Golden Bear Lemonade” kinda sounds like a weird euphemism for urine?

 

9. Arnold Palmer Arnold Palmer

arizona arnold palmer

Arnold Palmer made the half lemonade, half ice tea combo so popular, the beverage is now called an Arnold Palmer. So really, this is just about the most obvious athlete food item of all-time—and yet nobody thought of it until Arizona.

For shame, Pepsico. For shame.

 

8. Killebrew Old Fashioned Root Beer

killebrew old fashioned root beer (harmon killebrew) - athletes with their own foods

The late Harmon Killebrew was a hell of a ballplayer who made a hell of sarsaparilla.

 

7. Big Hurt Beer

big hurt beer (frank thomas) - athletes with their own foods

I have yet to see this on a store shelf near me, but when I do I will buy it.

 

6. Jagr Creamy Peanut Butter

jagr creamy peanut butter (jaromir jagr) - athletes with their own foods

I love that it’s mullet-era Jagr who got his own peanut butter. That makes this one so much better.

 

5. Terry's Crunchy Peanut Butter

terry's crunchy peanut butter (terry bradshaw) - athletes with their own foods

But of course, Jaromir wasn’t the only Pittsburgh sports legend to get his own peanut butter. Terry Bradshaw came first.

 

4. Deadmarsh Deli Dills

deadmarsh deli dills (adam deadmarsh) - athletes with their own foods

Deadmarsh Deli Dills? This one is all about the alliteration.

 

3. Kasparaitis Krunchers

kasparaitis-krunchers-darius-kasparaitis-athletes-with-their-own-foods

Kasparaitus Krunchers—best pickle name ever?

 

2. Earl Campbell's Hot Link

earl campbell hot links (earl campbell meat products) - athletes with their own foods

Some people hear the name “Earl Campbell” and they think “Hall of Fame Oilers quarterback.”

Other’s hear is and think “Mmmmm, saaaassage.”

 

1. Big Ben's Beef Jerkey

big ben's championship jerky (ben roethlisberger) - athletes with their own foods

And the award for “most fitting athlete food product of all time” goes to Big Ben’s Jerky.

Get it? Because he’s a jerk?

 




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