There are some people out there who think it’s weird for a grown man to wear a jersey with the name and number of another grown man on the back. And I can kind of see their point. However, I would argue that it’s much weirder for a grown man to wear the jersey of a professional sports team with his own name and number on the back, because at least the other guy isn’t pretending heis actually on the team.
That being said, whatever your opinion of personalized jerseys, I think we can probably all agree that there are regular, socially acceptable, completely inoffensive personalized jerseys…and then there are the kinds of personalized jerseys you’ll on today’s list.
On the one hand, I’m glad the extreme personalized jerseys exist, because it makes my job more fun.
On the other hand, I certainly wouldn’t be seen in public with somebody wearing one of these things. The majority are of them are ridiculous at best, downright embarrassing, offensive, racist, and/or homophobic at worst.
But enough small talk. By now you’re ready to commence with the viewing of these personalized monstrosities. So let’s get to it…
On the one hand, this alteration looks pretty silly now that Lin is long gone and Carmelo has signed a new $124 million, five-year deal to stay with the Knicks.
On the other hand, at least he can just peel off the tape.
Get it? Michael Vick went to jail for systematically murdering dogs?
That's not a sideways eight. It's an infinity sign.
Blackhawks fans are clever like that.
69. Detroit Sucks
68. Cardinals Hater
You could brag about how many titles your team has one. Or, alternatively...
67. Cheesehead Bra
...You could focus on the fact that your number one rival hasn't won any titles at all. And I've got to be honest here—despite the fact that this is a Washington Racial Slurs jersey, I really like this one.
66. How to Burn Your Rivals
I'm not really sure what would possess somebody to do this, seeing as how Bernie Madoff swindled people out of their life savings...including the owner of the Mets...which pretty much scuttled the franchise.
65. Tribute to Bernie Madoff
When Albert Pujols left St. Louis for Anaheim, some St. Louis fans came up with some creative ways to alter their Pujols jerseys—and they weren't exactly classy.
64. Pujols the Villain, Part 1
Seriously, buddy, calm down.
63. Pujols the Villain, Part 2
Fans expect nothing but the best in Detroit.
61. Pessimistic Red Wings Fan
Look, I get it. There aren't very many black hockey players. But this? Way not cool. Even if this guy isn't a racist, he's got terrible judgment.
60. Racist Flyers Fan
What? Homophobia in Texas? Shocking.
59. Homophobic Longhorns Fan
It's pretty of sad when your team's most famous players aren't even real.
58. Tribute to Fictional Baseball Players
Not really sure what this is about. Could be a diss to the Cubs, could be a diss to the Packers.
57. Brett Favre Cubs Jersey
What can drive a Packers fan to don the jersey of another team? One thing, and one thing only: BETRAYAL.
(Backstory for any non-football fans/communists who hate America: Brett Favre used to play for the Packers. Then he went to play for the Jets, and later the Vikings. And that was very upsetting for Packers fans.)
56. Brett Favre Jets Jersey
In this analogy, the Packers and their fans are Jesus Chris, and Brett Favre is Judas Iscariot, the man who betrayed Jesus and doomed him to a violent death.
So yeah, they take football seriously in Wisconsin.
55. Brett Favre Packers Jersey
I'm thinking this is probably also a Packers fan who is displeased with Brett Favre's decision to play for the Vikings.
54. Brett Favre Vikings Jersey
It's true, Chad Johnson is a bit of a d-bag.
53. Ocho Douchbag-O
In 2002, a woman named Sonya Elliot filed a civil lawsuit against Michael Vick that claimed he gave her genital herpes, and in that suit she claimed he often visited clinics using the alias "Ron Mexico."
So obviously everyone started getting Atlanta Falcons and Virginia Tech jerseys with Vick's No. 7 and "Mexico" on the back.
52. Ron Mexico
Not sure is this is a tribute or an insult.
If you're not a Point Break fan, you're just not going to get it.
50. Johnny Utah
This is probably a Steve Bono Kansas City Chiefs jersey, not a custom jersey made just for the occasion of a U2 concert. But it was certainly worn intentionally, and I'm including it anyway just to be sure.
It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now if this guy wears the jersey and doesn't paint his head, everybody's confused.
48. Helmet Head
Get it? Like smoke a joint?
47. Stoner Humor
Girth 8.5", huh? I bet the ladies are all over this guy.
I would have found this hilarious when I was 13 years old.
45. Masterb 8
For the hockey fan who just can't decide which douchebag to root for.
44. Split Allegiance
I'm going to guess this is actually a nickname based on a shortened version of his last name. But that still doesn't make it okay.
43. Ladies Man
The Phoenix Coyotes don't have many fans, but the ones they do have are hardcore.
42. Horny Rabbit
Bills fans aren't just perpetually wasted. At least one of them is also really lame. (And yes, I know it's a Scott Chandler jersey. It's still a Friends reference.)
41. Big Matthew Perry Fan
If you thought we could all put our political differences aside and join together in celebrating America's national pastime, you were wrong.
40. Bush & Cheney
This Blackhawks kid is just weird.
He means he loves Blue Jays. Get your mind out of the gutter.
38. Serious Blue Jays Fan
No thank you, sir.
37. The Creepiest Falcons Fan
I bet he tells his buddies it was a present from his wife.
36. Stud Muffin
Well that was $150 down the drain, wasn't it?
This guy did this to his Stephen Strasburg jersey when the fireballer went under the knife a few years back.
34. Nationals Optimist
Say what you want about this guy and his willingness to spend a ton of money on stupid personalized jerseys, he committed to the joke and he followed through. That's something.
33. Nationals Psychich
Well I mean, who doesn't?
31. Got Beer?
So lame, but also kind of funny. I especially like the orange wig, which is spot on.
30. Scott Hartnell Dis/Tribute
I don't know about you, but whenever I think about the fact that the New Jersey Devils are named after Satan, I can't help but think of this:
29. Devils' Biggest Fan
What's the connection between Tim Tebow and the Buffalo Sabres? Just this guy.
The NFL outlawed "Ron Mexico" Michael Vick jerseys, so this guy had to get creative.
26. Eat It, Vick
Get it? Man juice? Semin?
25. Alexander Semin Fan
Her dad must be so proud.
24. Another Alexander Semin Fan
Remember when Tim Tebow was an actual NFL quarterback? Those were good times.
23. Tim Tebow: Football Jesus
If you haven't seen The Replacements, this won't make any sense.
22. Keanu Reaves
The vast majority of profane personalized jerseys involve the number 69 in some way or another, so we might as well get all the 69s out of the way in one chunk.
(Oh, and if by some chance you are pure and innocent and have no idea why 69 is the number of choice for pervert sports fans everywhere, I'm certainly not going to be the one to explain it. That's the internet's job.)
Who doesn't love a good "your mom" joke?
20. Your Mom 69, Steelers Edition
Great minds think alike, apparently.
19. Your Mom 69, Browns Edition
This one was pretty expensive when you consider they charge by the letter.
18. Ladies Undergarment Larcenist
I think this individual might need a little refresher course on sexual positions.
17. Doggiestyle 69
I'm not one of those guys who has it in for the Cardinals and their fans. I realize there are good fans and bad fans among every fan base, and that excessive pride is still not as bad a character flaw as being a ginormous douchehole.
That being said, the next time you encounter somebody spewing that "Best Fans in Baseball" nonsense, it's only fair game to show them this.
16. Manimal 69
Get it? He's fat, and he likes to perform oral sex while simultaneously receiving it. Hilarious!
15. Love to Eat 69
This old dude is probably somebody's dad.
14. Large Richard 69
Can we forget about the sentiment expressed in this jersey and talk about how wide this guy it? That 666 is actually spaced out a bit so as to fill the entire back of the jersey.
14. Steinbrenner = The Devil
Say what you want, Leafs fans, but he isn't wrong.
13. Leafs Suck
No arguments here.
12. Osama Sux
Don't know the story behind this one, but sure, okay.
11. Questionable Dietary Preference
Like all non-residents of New York, I hate the Yankees. However, I do love Seinfeld. So this one gives me some mixed emotions.
Seriously, that is just messed up.
It's like they say—the couple that makes dirty puns with their matching customized NFL jerseys together stays together.
Oh no. No no no no no no no.
There aren't many jerseys on this list that are legitimately funny without being at least somewhat offensive, but this is one of them.
6. Ocho Drunko
Mark Sanchez has been well-received in Philadelphia as the backup to Nick Foles, but in New York he will always be remembered for the Buttfumble.