The 10 Creepiest and Weird NFL Mascots Of ALL Time
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The 10 Creepiest and Weird NFL Mascots Of ALL Time

by: Esteban On  Friday, September 5, 2014
Tags:  Creepy   Football   Mascots   NFL  

creepy and weird nfl mascots

Now that the NFL season is finally here, most fans are probably fine-tuning their fantasy rosters, picking winners for their office pools, or making plans to watch the action with friends. And that’s all well and good. But me? I’m celebrating the return of NFL football by making lists of the hottest NFL WAGs and the creepiest and weird NFL mascots.

Why? Because the NFL isn’t just a sports league. It’s a sports entertainment enterprise. And all the non-football related aspects of the game deserve some love, too.

Also, I also just really love creepy mascots and attractive women…though not at the same time, because that’s weird.

Anyway, here’s the list. Take a look, then give your kids a Pepsi and show this to them before they go to sleep just to see what happens!

 

creepy and weird nfl mascots

Now that the NFL season is finally here, most fans are probably fine-tuning their fantasy rosters, picking winners for their office pools, or making plans to watch the action with friends. And that’s all well and good. But me? I’m celebrating the return of NFL football by making lists of the hottest NFL WAGs and the creepiest and weird NFL mascots.

Why? Because the NFL isn’t just a sports league. It’s a sports entertainment enterprise. And all the non-football related aspects of the game deserve some love, too.

Also, I also just really love creepy mascots and attractive women…though not at the same time, because that’s weird.

Anyway, here’s the list. Take a look, then give your kids a Pepsi and show this to them before they go to sleep just to see what happens!

 

10 Viktor Minnesota Vikings mascot - creepy NFL mascots

I typically find all humanoid mascots creepy because they seem to alway have deranged grins and bug eyes. That being said, Viktor here wouldn’t be that bad if he didn’t look just like Hulk Hogan. And Hulk Hogan really gives me the heebie jeebies ever since I had the misfortune of watching his sex tape. (Yeah, gross.)

Also, having seen this doesn’t help, either.

 

10. Viktor (Minnesota Vikings)

10 Viktor Minnesota Vikings mascot - creepy NFL mascots

I typically find all humanoid mascots creepy because they seem to alway have deranged grins and bug eyes. That being said, Viktor here wouldn’t be that bad if he didn’t look just like Hulk Hogan. And Hulk Hogan really gives me the heebie jeebies ever since I had the misfortune of watching his sex tape. (Yeah, gross.)

Also, having seen this doesn’t help, either.

 

9 Sir Saint New Orleans Saints mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Speaking of humanoid mascots, how about Sir Saint? He looks more like the bad guy in a French Cartoon than somebody who’s going to get a bunch of drunk football fans pumped up. And no, he doesn’t look less creepy from other angles. In fact, he might even look more creepy.

 

9. Sir Saint (New Orleans Saints)

9 Sir Saint New Orleans Saints mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Speaking of humanoid mascots, how about Sir Saint? He looks more like the bad guy in a French Cartoon than somebody who’s going to get a bunch of drunk football fans pumped up. And no, he doesn’t look less creepy from other angles. In fact, he might even look more creepy.

 

8 Blitz Seattle Seahawks Mascot - creepy NFL mascots

If I were a Seahawks fan—and I’m not—I could probably learn to live with the angry scowl and blue feathers, even though they are ornithologically incorrect, as Ospreys (or “Sea Hawks”) are brown and white. However, I do not think I could get past the bulging biceps. I can’t put my finger on it, but they just make me uncomfortable.

 

8. Blitz (Seattle Seahawks)

8 Blitz Seattle Seahawks Mascot - creepy NFL mascots

If I were a Seahawks fan—and I’m not—I could probably learn to live with the angry scowl and blue feathers, even though they are ornithologically incorrect, as Ospreys (or “Sea Hawks”) are brown and white. However, I do not think I could get past the bulging biceps. I can’t put my finger on it, but they just make me uncomfortable.

 

7 Rowdy Dallas Cowboys mascot - creepy NFL mascots

 Seriously, this is the kind of cowboy Jerry Jones wants associated with his team? The guy looks like he has a spray tan, and I’m pretty sure he’s high as a kite. My guess is meth…though he obviously snorts it rather than smoking it. Look at those pearly whites.

 

7. Rowdy (Dallas Cowboys)

7 Rowdy Dallas Cowboys mascot - creepy NFL mascots

 Seriously, this is the kind of cowboy Jerry Jones wants associated with his team? The guy looks like he has a spray tan, and I’m pretty sure he’s high as a kite. My guess is meth…though he obviously snorts it rather than smoking it. Look at those pearly whites.

 

6 Captain Fear Tampa Bay Buccaneers mascot - creepy NFL mascots

The main problem with Captain Fear is that he looks more like a caveman sex offender than a pirate. Hell, you can buy a stock costume on the internet that looks better than this. (Seriously, see for yourself.)

That being said, what really makes Captain Fear creepy is the fact that he looks like the puppet from Team America: World Police after undergoing the Valmorification process.

You know…

So creepy.

6. Captain Fear (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

6 Captain Fear Tampa Bay Buccaneers mascot - creepy NFL mascots

The main problem with Captain Fear is that he looks more like a caveman sex offender than a pirate. Hell, you can buy a stock costume on the internet that looks better than this. (Seriously, see for yourself.)

That being said, what really makes Captain Fear creepy is the fact that he looks like the puppet from Team America: World Police after undergoing the Valmorification process.

You know…

So creepy.

5 Jaxson de Ville Jacksonville Jaguars Mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Fully clothed, Jaxson de Ville isn’t creepy at all. However, this mascot has a little bit of a gambling problem. He’s always making bets with the mascots of opposing teams, they always seem to involve the loser parading around in just a speedo, and the Jaguars usually lose. Because they’re the Jaguars.

So, um…

Yeah.

 

5. Jaxson de Ville (Jacksonville Jaguars)

5 Jaxson de Ville Jacksonville Jaguars Mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Fully clothed, Jaxson de Ville isn’t creepy at all. However, this mascot has a little bit of a gambling problem. He’s always making bets with the mascots of opposing teams, they always seem to involve the loser parading around in just a speedo, and the Jaguars usually lose. Because they’re the Jaguars.

So, um…

Yeah.

 

4 T.D. Miami Dolphins Mascot - creepy NFL mascots

No, internet, that’s not some weird space bug or something. That’s T.D., and he’s a dolphin.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Dolphins cute, and T.D. is not cute.”

Exactly.

 

4. T.D. (Miami Dolphins)

4 T.D. Miami Dolphins Mascot - creepy NFL mascots

No, internet, that’s not some weird space bug or something. That’s T.D., and he’s a dolphin.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Dolphins cute, and T.D. is not cute.”

Exactly.

 

3 Raider Rusher Oakland Raiders mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Seriously, WTF Raiders? It’s bad enough that fully grown adults are afraid to go to your games because they’re afraid they’ll get beat up if they accidentally cut in front of somebody while waiting in line for the bathroom. Why must you also strike fear into the heart of children with this deranged monstrosity?

 

3. Raider Rusher (Oakland Raiders)

3 Raider Rusher Oakland Raiders mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Seriously, WTF Raiders? It’s bad enough that fully grown adults are afraid to go to your games because they’re afraid they’ll get beat up if they accidentally cut in front of somebody while waiting in line for the bathroom. Why must you also strike fear into the heart of children with this deranged monstrosity?

 

3 Raider Rusher Oakland Raiders mascot - creepy NFL mascots

I’m not sure whether Miles is hatching a plan to kill that kid, or if he’s deriving an inappropriate amount of physical gratification from his friendly pat on the nose. Either way it’s extremely creepy, and those bright orange eyes aren’t helping.

 

2. Miles (Denver Broncos)

3 Raider Rusher Oakland Raiders mascot - creepy NFL mascots

I’m not sure whether Miles is hatching a plan to kill that kid, or if he’s deriving an inappropriate amount of physical gratification from his friendly pat on the nose. Either way it’s extremely creepy, and those bright orange eyes aren’t helping.

 

1 Boltman San Diego Chargers mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Taking the top spot as the creepiest mascot in the NFL is Boltman. And the crazy thing is this is actually the least creepy Boltman ever.

Just take a look at what he used to look like:

boltman 1
boltman 2
boltman 3

 Horrifying, right? The only thing that causes more nightmares for Chargers fans is Norv Turner.

 

1. Boltman (San Diego Chargers)

1 Boltman San Diego Chargers mascot - creepy NFL mascots

Taking the top spot as the creepiest mascot in the NFL is Boltman. And the crazy thing is this is actually the least creepy Boltman ever.

Just take a look at what he used to look like:

boltman 1
boltman 2
boltman 3

 Horrifying, right? The only thing that causes more nightmares for Chargers fans is Norv Turner.

 



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