There really is nothing quite like a good Manningface. Some might say that anybody photographed as much as Peyton and Eli Manning would make more than a few awkward faces, and that the only reason Manningface has become a thing is because a famous sports writer (Bill Simmons) turned it into a thing. But people who might say that are wrong. Manningface is glorious. The ability to throw footballs well was not the only thing passed on in those Manning genes.
This is not to say that all Manningfaces are created equal, mind you. Of all the amazing Manningfaces we’ve seen over the years, some definitely stand out above the rest. And today’s list is a tribute to those.
So please, take a look. And long live Manningface.
Up first we have Manningface Classic, created by Peyton Manning. Like Coca-Cola Classic, it's the original and still most common of all Manningfaces. And it never goes out of style.
20. Manningface Classic
If Manningface Classic is the Coca-Cola of Manningfaces, Manningface 2.0 is the Diet Coke. A new take on an old standard, it's a bit of an acquired taste. However, there are people who actually prefer it to Manningface Classic.
19. Diet Manningface
At #18 we have another fairly common Manningface: The Bummer. Peyton breaks this baby out any time he's disappointed in his performance. (Like when his team gets eliminated from the playoffs every year.)
18. The Bummer
The Narcoleptic: Because sometimes even the greatest quarterback in NFL history* just needs a nap.
17. The Narcoleptic
One day somebody asked Peyton Manning if he could do an impression of Blue, the Indianapolis Colts mascot. This beauty is what he came up with.††Full disclosure: I made that up.
16. The Blue
Peyton Manning may hold the records for most NFL MVP awards, single season passing yards, single season touchdowns, and career touchdowns. But one record he does not have is a winning one against Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. And that makes Peyton Manning angry.
15. The F%$& THAT GUY Face
Every once in a while, when the game is in hand, Peyton spaces out and pretends he's riding a tractor and plowing the back forty—glass of ice cold lemonade in his hand, single straw of wheat sticking out of his mouth.
This is the face he makes during such reveries.
14. The Yeeeah Buddy
No list of great Manningfaces would be complete without Eli's take on the "Oh Shit!" face. He makes it whenever he gets sacked or intercepted. (So about four or five times a game.)
13. The Oh Sh*t Face
See what I did there with the titles of the last two Manningfaces? It's a play on words. I feel the need to point that out to you because I want to make sure you note what a clever writer I am.
Anyway, yeah, this is Eli Manning drunk at a party back in his college days. Unfortunately we never get to see this face anymore because Eli is a responsible family man, and drinking on NFL sidelines is frowned upon. But you know there have been times over the past few seasons when Eli has wished he could just pound a few beers and forget about life as a New York Giant.
12. The So Sh*tfaced
This is one of the rarest of all Manningfaces. Peyton Manning is one of football's greatest students who comes into every game prepared for every situation. As far as anybody knows, when that snap went over his head on the first play from scrimmage in Super Bowl XLVIII, it was the first time he'd ever been surprised about anything during a game of football. And the Manningface that accompanied his surprise was a classic.
"I don't wanna."
"But Eli, you have to go back out there. It's only the third quarter. Coach Coughlin says he promises he won't make you throw into triple coverage anymore."
9. The Pouty Face
Peyton Manning has nerves of steel, but he's still a human with human feelings. Even he feels the need to cry sometimes.
8. The About to Cry Face
Behold the Thinker—the Manningface we get when Peyton is asked to reflect upon his remarkable career and all his achievements.
7. The Thinker
Did you ever notice how Eli Manning looks a lot like John Krasinski from The Office?
6. The John Krasinski
"Peyton, how big was the stack of money John Elway put on the table in front of you when you visited the Broncos?"
"About thiiiiis big."
5. The Thiiis Much Face
Don't make Eli Manning angry. You won't like him when he's angry.
4. The Snarl
Peyton Manning is a nice, laid back dude...except when his team is losing. Then he's a vicious ragemonster and you'd best just get out the way.
3. The Ragemonster
All I can say about this Manningface is thank God we don't see it very often. I just don't think the world could handle it.
2. The Dazed and Confused
I've never heard anybody say a single bad thing about Peyton Manning. People say he's kind and generous and thoughtful.
But having seen this face, I'd still recommend you never, ever cross him. He will suck your soul right out of your eyes, squish it into a ball with his hands, and devour it.
1. The Devil
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