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Mark Sanchez Celebrates Win by Poisoning Himself with Cheesesteaks (Video)
Mark Sanchez decided to celebrate the Philadelphia Eagles’ decisive victory on Monday night by slowly killing himself with Philly cheesesteaks. Needless to say, the Philly fans ate it up, if only because they’re under some weird spell that causes them to think that the “traditional” Philly cheesesteaks are the pinnacle form of the dish.
***BEGIN CHEESESTEAK RANT***
It’s been my experience that the local Philly institutions have the best Philly cheesesteaks the same way that McDonald’s has the nation’s best hamburgers – they don’t. Cheese Whiz is not good. The meat is sparse and not awesome. The buns are dry most of the time. But since it’s the “Home of the Cheesesteak,” every sandwich from these places is treated like a gift from God. The Geno’s-Pat’s argument is like two homeless people fighting over which is better, Burger King or Arby’s.
***END CHEESESTEAK RANT***
So, being a soulless Los Angeles transplant looking to endear himself to the local fan base, Mark Sanchez grabbed a steak from both Geno’s and Pat’s, mingled with the fans, then took off to go home, where he undoubtedly suffered from stomach cramps and crippling diarrhea until the sun came up.
That’s what Mark Sanchez deserves for trying to be a man of the people in Philadelphia.
Here’s a look at the news report from 6abc Action News following Mark Sanchez’s post-victory cheesesteak run: