Marshawn Lynch Violently Forces Seahawks Kicker to Dance with Him (Video)
The Monopoly Guy Did a Keg Stand Tailgating at the Jets Game (Video)
Anytime the Monopoly guy does anything, it’s going to be a news story. You don’t get dressed up in a monocle and tophat, mustache all waxed, to blend in. You do it because you’re awesome. You’re the Monopoly guy. And what do awesome people do?
I could either leave this story relatively free of context (Is there ever a satisfactory context for a keg stand?), or I could make a lot of weak-sauce Monopoly jokes?
Let’s do the context-free thing and skip right past the “Go directly to Jail” jokes. Monopoly guy doesn’t go to jail. With his legal team? He’d be back on the streets in an hour, judging beauty pageants, and inheriting $200 from his aunt.
Here’s the once-in-a-lifetime video:
He ain’t like you and me. Except that he also binge-drinks at football games. We’re all similar there.