Patriots Release Their Official Point-by-Point Wells Report Rebuttal
The lawyer representing the New England Patriots has released the team’s official Wells Reports rebuttal. It’s a 20,000 word point-by-point analysis and commentary, and it’s got its own damn website.
Did I read all 20,000 words? No. Did I read the abstract at the top and then skim the rest? Yes. Does that make me an expert? Yes.
So here’s the shortest possible version of the rebuttal’s main points, with my own thoughts bracketed in italics:
- There were two gauges used to measure footballs before and during the AFC Championship game: one with a logo, and one without. The investigation accepted the recollection of referee Walt Anderson that he used the gauge with the logo on it to measure the balls before the game, and that all the Pats balls measured 12.5 psi and all the Colts balls measured 13 or 13.1 psi. However, they did not accept his recollection that he used the same gauge to measure the balls at halftime. And according to the logo gauge, 8 of the 11 Pats balls dropped about as much as the Ideal Gas Law would predict [says the lawyer] given the air temperature. Instead, the investigation arbitrarily accepted the halftime measurements of the other gauge, which were much lower. [This does seem problematic.]
- The texts between Jim McNally and John Jastremski never say anything about deflating the footballs below the allowed 12.5 psi, let alone that Tom Brady asked them to do so. [True.] The investigation inferred that the reason McNally wanted gifts and money was because he must have been doing something illegal, when in fact he might have just wanted kickbacks because locker room attendants always get tips [true], and because he found Tom Brady difficult to work for.
- The texts were jocular in nature and “Deflator” could have referred to something else, like losing weight. [Oh come on now, that’s ridiculous.]
- Brady didn’t turn over his phone to the investigation because he didn’t want to set a precedent that would effect other members of the Players’ Union, and because they already had all relevant texts between he and Jastremski from his phone. [Maybe.]
Want to read more? Head on over to wellsreportcontext.com and spend the next two hours of your life examining the rebuttal. Or just hit yourself over the head with a tire iron. Both are equally good for your brain.
Hat Tip – [ESPN]