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NBC Sports Chairman Wants NHL to Ditch Playoff Beards So Players Are More “Marketable”
I’m totally serious. He actually made his case for banning the beard on the record:
“The players won’t like this, but I wish they all would stop growing beards in the postseason. Let’s get their faces out there. Let’s talk about how young and attractive they are. What model citizens they are. They truly are one of a kind among professional athletes.
“I know it’s a tradition and superstition, but I think [the beards] hurt recognition. They have a great opportunity with more endorsements. Or simply more recognition with fans saying, ‘That guy looks like the kid next door,’ which many of these guys do. I think that would be a nice thing.”
And hey, maybe instead of playing the game on ice with sticks and pucks, they could try playing it on grass with tight pants and oblong balls!
Seriously Lazarus, this is the worst idea in the history of sports. Not only do fans love playoff beards, such that getting rid of them would be like getting rid of the Super Bowl halftime show. The playoff beard is the physical manifestation of the ethos of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and that ethos—complete sublimation of the self in pursuit of a greater good—is everything that’s right about hockey.
What NBC should be doing is coming up with marketing campaigns that celebrate playoff beards.
My only hope is that Lazarus made this request to the NHL and NHLPA in person so he could see the looks on their faces when they told him to go f**k himself.
Hat Tip – [Puck Daddy]