Jerry Jones on Cowboys’ Quiet Free Agency: “Not Enough Criminals Out There”

Dallas Cowboys v Miami Dolphins

Plenty of NFL teams have been making noise ever since the 2016 free agent market opened up earlier today.  Perhaps the busiest club of all has been the New York Giants, who added Damon Harrison, Janoris Jenkins and Olivier Vernon, while also re-signing Jason Pierre-Paul.

As for the quietest team thus far, that may very well be the Giants’ NFC East foes, the Dallas Cowboys.

Besides resigning linebacker Ronaldo McClain, the Cowboys haven’t done squat.  They haven’t signed any back-up quarterbacks, and they haven’t addressed their lack of depth at running back or their needs along the defensive line or in the secondary.

Why not, you ask?  Because, as Cowboys owner Jerry Jones puts it, “There just ain’t enough criminals out there for us.”

“We’re looking for some big-time woman-beaters, drunk drivers, and if we can get a cold-blooded murderer or two as well, we’ll take it.” Jones told the media that this year’s free agency class simply doesn’t offer that type of player.  He even named a few names while he was at it.

“You know, we looked into Pacman Jones, but it seems like he’s staying in Cincinnati,” Jerry said.  “At this point, we’re hoping the grand jury decides to charge Johnny Manziel with something so that he can better fit our needs.”

***PARODY POST!!!***

Photo via Getty.

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