John Elway’s Phone Has Been Blowing Up Since Acquiring Mark Sanchez
Breaking: Johnny Manziel Cut by Browns… Signs with Texas A&M Frat
In an expected move, the Cleveland Brown have officially cut Johnny Manziel from their roster. The move has been looming since Hue Jackson took over as the Browns head coach back in January. When reached for comment about his release from the team Manziel told the Associated Press, “I actually had no clue I was employed by the Browns. I’ve been on a 2 year non-stop blacked out bender since I left Texas A&M.”
Luckily for Manziel he was instantly scooped by another team. The Sigma Gamma Xi fraternity chapter at Texas A&M University instantly signed Manziel off of waivers.
Johnny Football will be the key addition the team needs to win this year’s intramural flag football championship. Dale Richards, who’s the fraternity team captain, thinks Manziel’s drinking ability and agility in the pocket will be the perfect combination.
He posted this message on Facebook:
“We just signed Manziel aka the GOAT. His knowledge of 3-4 defenses and ability to play drunk AF will put us over the top. Crown us champs already!”
The transition from Browns quarterback to playing for a college flag football team is considered an upgrade by many analysts. Former NFL star and known drunk Joe Namath likes the move and hopes to mentor Manziel.
He told ESPN, “I think this is the right move for Johnny. Booze, women, and football is the perfect combo. I can’t wait to show him the ropes. We’re actually going to a kegger tonight.”
As for the Browns, their next move will most likely be drafting a quarterback. They look forward to the opportunity of ruining another young man’s career by putting a Browns uniform on his back.