BREAKING: The NFL Just Added Another 5 Rule Changes You Won’t Believe
This week NFL owners met in Boca Raton, Florida for their annual rules discussion meeting. As expected, the 32 team owners revealed some new rules to the game. Some of the new rules have been flagged as very controversial. These are the 5 Most Controversial New Rules:
1- Hitting Women is Only Allowed on the Weekdays – Clearly the league is trying to take a stand against domestic abuse. After years of bad publicity with high profile players being arrested, the NFL has finally decided to address the problem. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told CBS Sports, “We know this is an important issue to fans, so we feel that limiting the beatings to the weekdays should help prevent players from getting arrested the night before a game.”
2 – Quarterbacks Will No Longer Be Tackled – The new rule specifically states that quarterbacks must be brought down by two-hand touch.
3 – Anyone Who Hits a Defenseless Receiver Will Be Sent to Guantanomo Bay – This new rule will help protect the health of the players. The entire Cincinnati Bengals defense is expected to be in Guantanomo before the end of the 2016 season.
4 – Cam Newton Must Give Footballs to Poor Kids in the Upper Deck, Not Rich Kids Sitting Near the Field – The NFL is trying to show it cares about the less fortunate. They argue that Cam just gives balls to kids who’ve already been handed everything in life.
5 – All Catches Must Be Reviewed By a Scientist – Each NFL stadium will now have a scientist on the field to verify that every catch is indeed a catch. During the reviews the NFL has also mandated that Draft Kings and FanDuel ads be played during the official review.
When asked about the new rule changes, Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Pacman Jones said, “Roger Goodell done lost his damn mind.”