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Tim Tebow Officially Retires from Football to Enter the Porn Industry

by: Andy Ruther On  Friday, April 1, 2016
Tags:  Football   NFL   Tim Tebow  

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The sports and conservative Christian movement received some shocking news today. Former Heisman trophy winner, 2-time national champ, and Christian poster child Tim Tebow announced he’s officially retiring from football. For the last few years Tebow has bounced around the league after getting cut by the New York Jets in 2013. After his release he had short pre-season stints with both the New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles. During his retirement press conference Tebow also announced some unexpected news. He told reporters, “I’m officially retiring from football to enter the adult film business. For years I’ve received countless offers to enter the business and I think the time is right. I have an exclusive deal with Vivid Entertainment that will include 5 movies in the next year. The first movie begins filming next week.”

For years Tebow has been outspoken about his virginity and Christian faith, so this news rocked everyone. Tebow plans on losing his virginity in his first film which is tentatively titled “Tebowning with Tim Tebow.” People from America’s Christian right-wing were heartbroken, confused, and angry. American Family Association PresidentĀ Tim Wildmon told the New York Times, “This is a shock for everyone who knows Tim. For years he’s been a leader and advocate of the family and promoting traditional values. His decision to enter the sex business is revolting and concerning for everyone.”

Tebow’s first film is set to break adult film industry records. Vivid Entertainment founder and CEO Steven Hirsch issued this statement: “For years Tim has balked at our offers, but we finally got him. His first film will shatter records and be seen by millions of people. Get your popcorn ready, because Tebow Time is about to take over computer screens everywhere.”

 

*****APRIL FOOLS!!!!



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