Fortunately, with the benefit of hindsight over the past thirty years or so, we know this is a statistical anomaly. After this stretch of decency, we can comfortably look forward to 2012 knowing that sports will be as crazy and depraved as ever. As we approach, let’s look back on the past year and determine how we can raise the bar on January 1st.

The NFL lost one of its most recognizable faces, as Al Davis passed away at his home on Saturday at the age of 82.  Davis always encouraged his players to “Just Win Baby,” and his players did just that one day after his passing, as they rallied late and held on to beat the Houston Texans by a score of 25-20.  That led to an emotional moment on the field following the game for Raiders’ head coach Hue Jackson, which was captured in the above image.

Here is a look at another emotional moment for Jackson, as he addressed his team in the locker room following the win.

R.I.P. Al Davis.  You will be missed, but never forgotten.

Ghouls and professional sports franchise owners have a lot in common. Both are usually evil, despised, feared, and stuck somewhere between this world and the next. As such, we thought we’d compare some well known sports owners to one of the most well known ghouls of all: the Crypt Keeper from HBO’s “Tales From the Crypt.” It’s not a perfect comparison, but more often than not, it amazing how similar they really are.

John Henry – Boston Red Sox
Henry’s cold, dead eyes are excellent for excelling in big business as well as crypt keeper lookalike lists. As such, he checks in at number nine and leads off the group. Under his ownership the Red Sox broke the Curse of the Bambino and won two World Series titles. The question isn’t if he sold his soul to make that happen, it’s how many other people’s souls did he have to broker along the way?
 

Mike Ilitch – Detroit Red Wings/Detroit Tigers
In 1959 Mike Ilitch founded a little company called Little Ceasar’s Pizza. After selling a whole lotta pizza, he bought the Detroit Red Wings in 1982. Then in 1992 he bought the Detroit Tigers. In 2008 the auto industry collapsed and Detroit became a graveyard for housing and employment, so it is fitting that the owner of two of the city’s most prominent sports franchises should look the part while keeping the crypt of D-Town, or at least what’s left of it.
 

Frank McCourt – Los Angeles Dodgers
This snaggle-toothed a-hole has killed a marriage, a baseball team and the hopes and dreams of millions of Angelinos with his narcissistic personal spending and mismanagement of one of sport’s most storied franchises. He has also overseen the murder of a SF Giants fan on his property in 2003 and the near-murder of SF Giants fan Bryan Stowe on opening day this year. His evasive response to the crisis in confidence and shoddy security at his stadium is the true embodiment of a crypt keeper who seeks to create a conducive environment for death and destruction under his reign.

Bud Adams – Tennessee Titans
Bud Adams is 88 years old and when he’s not busy flipping off Buffalo Bills fans he spends the rest of his time aging ungracefully. Having owned the Titans since their Houston days it should come as no surprise that he made his money in oil and gas, so it’s nice to know that he has also been actively involved in the death of our planet as well.
 
 
 

Dan Rooney – Pittsburgh Steelers
The owner of Steeler Nation presently looks more like the owner of a colostomy bag and a case of crypticness with no known cure. As a NFL owner Rooney has had a history of being a winner, but as an owner of a youthful, healthy appearance Rooney has been a loser in every way possible.
 
 

Donald Sterling – Los Angeles Clippers
Sure, he’s old and wrinkly, but that’s not the primary reason he made this list. As a man who has single-handedly killed the Clipper’s franchise by simply owning and managing the team, how could he not make a list of owners who are compared to crypt keepers? He has overseen this dead franchise ever since he purchased them in 1981 and continued to drive them into the ground year after year.
 
 

Jerry Jones – Dallas Cowboys
He built himself a billion dollar palace to prove that everything is bigger in Texas, including egos. But all the money (and plastic surgery) in the world can’t seem to keep billionaires’ faces from turning all crypt-keeper toward the end of their lives. Jerry Jones is no exception.
 
 
 

Peter Angelos – Baltimore Orioles
I mean, just look at this guy… are any further words necessary?
 
 
 
 
 
 
Al Davis – Oakland Raiders
It should come as no surprise that Al Davis tops this list. What comes as more of a surprise is the fact that he is still alive… or is he? Could it be that he is the NFL owner’s real-life version of A Weekend at Bernie’s and his corpse is being used as some sort of bizarre bargaining chip in their current labor negotiations? Who knows? The NFL is a basically a group of 32 billionaires, so would you put it past them? Me neither.

Allow me to clarify this title. It’s not about actually who actually cry (as we covered last week), but rather about men who simply won’t stop whining. People that won’t stop complaining about calls, bitch to the media about clubhouse affairs, etc. They are among the most destructive and obnoxious types of personalities, so we’ve gone ahead and presented them to you so you can get annoyed and frustrated yet again. You’re welcome.

9. John McEnroe
No brainer. He didn’t so much whine or cry as he did explode like an atom bomb when things didn’t go his way, but I really don’t make much of a distinction. He bitched about every missed call (of which there used to be many in tennis) like it was a personal attack on him. His refusal to accept that mistakes were a part of the game turned him into a spectacle the undermined the game itself. Part of being a legendary athlete is being able to roll with the punches. McEnroe never had that.

8. Rasheed Wallace
He’s got 304 technical fouls. That’s the most in NBA history. That’s a stat that screams “crybaby” louder than anything else. There’s a lot to like about Rasheed. He was a clutch player, he hustled, and he actually seemed to have a really good head on his shoulders off the court. But something would happen when he got hit with a call that caused him to fly off the handle. I will let this Sheed quote state his case for me:

“All that bullsh*t-ass calls they had out there. With Mike [Callahan] and Kenny [Mauer] – you’ve all seen that sh*t, ” Wallace said. “You saw them calls. The cats are flopping all over the floor and they’re calling that sh*t. That shit ain’t basketball out there. It’s all f*cking entertainment. You all should know that shit. It’s all f*cking entertainment.”

7. Allen Iverson
I really debated including AI on this list. He has shown as much heart and drive as any of the greats, but he derailed late in his career. When his skills started to fade, he lashed out, both passively and aggressively at coaches, players, and media. His pouting killed his work ethic, which made him worse, which made him pout more. Vicious circle. Now the man is in Turkey when he could be a role player on a team her in the US, if he only had the constitution to swallow his pride for the sake of his team.

6. Terrell Owens
When things are going great, he won’t shut up. When things are going horribly, he won’t shut up. If he has an off game, he’s all to quick to blame the quarterback for not throwing to him, the offensive coordinator for not letting the quarterback throw to him, but someone is always at fault and T.O. rarely points the finger at himself, despite a recent habit of dropping passes like they were hot potatoes. The actual crying after the Giants playoff loss a few years ago doesn’t help either.

5. Jerry Rice
This guy publicly complained about not getting a significant increase in endorsements after winning Super Bowl MVP. Well, Jerry, maybe if you stopped doing things like crying about the number of endorsements you manage to score, you’d manage to score more endorsements. You’re a gazillionaire, and no one cares how many shoes you sell. They care about your on-field accomplishments and, to a lesser extent, your ability to walk into a nightclub without shooting yourself in the leg. The only person you can bitch to about endorsement money is your agent. No one else cares.

4. Al Davis
Al Davis edged out Mark Cuban for the ownership representation on this list. Cubes complains a lot, and whether or not you agree, he generally has a logic to his arguments, unlike Al Davis, who feels as though powers greater than himself have been torpedoing the success of their squad for decades. He refuses to work with the city, sponsors, and fans, instead laying blame to them despite the fact that without their support, he’d be in LA still, getting filmed by TMZ and haunting my nightmares. His revolving door of coaches is another example of how he refuses to examine his shortcomings in the Raiders’ struggles.

3. Italian Soccer Players
These guys are the absolute worst. They take dives like no one else does, frustrating opposing fans and undermining the credibility of the game. Watching those suckers roll around after they haven’t been touched only to pop up when they realize they’re not getting the call. Why they can’t get penalized for being unsporting jerks is beyond me. I mean, they CAN, but they never seem to get hit with a card. It’s so upsetting that it makes me want to fall over and roll around.

2. Tim Duncan
Duncan seems to have two expressions: “blank” and “that’s the most unbelievable horrible call in the history of basketball.” Granted, there are instances where the latter face is warranted. Like when he got tossed by Joey Crawford against the Mavs. That was pretty amazing. But to be fair, Duncan got tossed because he was making that face. That’s how irritating it is.

1. Pete Rose
Some would say Pete Rose got kind of a raw deal. Sure, he gambled on his own team, but to ban him from baseball struck me as needlessly harsh. However, in his years since the ban, I’m beginning to think that the MLB did the right thing. He denied betting on baseball for years, then sort of admitted to it, thinking that it would endear him to fans, only to become outraged when he wasn’t immediately forgiven. It’s toddler logic. “I apologized for what I did. Why are you still mad at me?”

Owning a sports team requires a lot of things:a commitment to winning and a big ego. Unfortunately, these two things tend to foul each other up. The best owners in pro sports are the men behind the curtain who surround themselves with talented management and leave it to the team to take the glory rather than themselves. The best owners are willing to wave goodbye to easy money for the sake of the team and the city. The following 9 owners are not like that at all.

9. Dan Gilbert
Dan Gilbert was doing a fine job with his team, managing one of the few points of pride for Clevelanders. Of course, that job was made a lot easier by LeBron James, whose acquisition by the Cavs turned out to be the best thing to happen to Cleveland since…well, ever.

With all his eggs in that one basket, it’s easy to understand his anger and frustration when LeBron took his talents to South Beach and threw up two middle fingers to his former fan base with the debacle that was “The Decision.”However, what’s not understandable was the vitriol that spewed forth from Gilbert following James’ departure. Using a public forum, he went apeshit on James, calling him every name in the phone book while accusing him of checking out during last spring’s playoffs.

While the behavior of Gilbert was childish and petty, it was also short-sighted. When players see an owner like that, it doesn’t exactly cause them to want to start lining up at the Q to throw on a Cavs Jersey.

Oh, and Dan – promising to win rings in Cleveland before LeBron does with arguably the strongest basketball squad ever assembled? You may have overextended yourself there, chief.

8. Jerry Jones
Owner/GM. Is there a more terrifying combination of roles in the world? The combination of these titles allows unchecked spending (and ego) to reign supreme. While Jerry had tremendous results in the mid-90’s, since then it’s been a bumpy ride. His ego has caused numerous fallouts with his coaching staff, resulting in a steady stream of mediocrity following Switzer’s departure.

I mentioned ego before, and I’ll mention it again. The Egyptian’s have nothing on Mr. Jones when it comes to building shrines to themselves. The new Cowboys Stadium is a testament to unchecked ego and hubris. The fact that it’s really, really cool doesn’t mitigate that. People were willing to overlook Jones’ faults when the Boys were winning rings, but it’s been a while, so he’s back under the microscope, and many wish he’d spend a little less time on the field mingling and a little more time restoring the dynasty.

7. Mark Cuban
There are certain things to love about Mark Cuban. During his reign, he has turned the Mavs around from perennial laughing stock to one of the NBA’s elite teams and a constant playoff presence. He’s created one of the best arena experiences in the NBA with American Airlines Center. And no one seems to be more personally invested in his team’s success than Cubes.

It’s that last one that gets a little tricky. Cuban is so close to his players and staff that when it comes time to make an unpleasant decision, no one’s sure if he can pull the trigger. The last time he had to wave goodbye to a player and friend, it was Steve Nash, who ended up getting two consecutive MVP’s with the Suns.

Pair his buddy-buddy relationship with the players with reality TV show appearances on both Dancing with the Stars and The Benefactor, and while you may have an owner that’s good for the team and the league at the end of the day, he’s not without a cringe factor.

6. Madison Square Garden Inc./James Dolan
For all intents and purposes, Chairman and CEO of MSG Inc James Dolan “runs the show” in NYC. I used quotes when saying “runs the show” cause that’s actually not what he does at all. 3rd grade lemonade stands have been run better than the iconic franchise. Despite cavalier spending over the past 15 years, the Knicks have yet to turn out one player that matches the caliber of a Patrick Ewing (or maybe even a John Starks). Instead, Dolan tosses the keys of the franchise to walking punch-line Isiah Thomas, who should have taken a cue from George Costanza and followed the opposite of what his instincts told him on every managerial decision.

While hope springs in MSG, the track record suggests that it will take a lot more than wild spending on overpaid free agents, crappy draft picks, and unwavering fan loyalty to turn this thing around. Which may never happen if the MSG board can’t find someone with more capable hands than Mr. Dolan.

5. Peter Angelos
The headlines in Baltimore are ubiquitous: “The Birds Have Flown South This Fall.” When your team is perennially described with such hackneyed phrases about underachieving, the best place to look for change is at the top. SI dubbed him one of the five worst owners in the MLB, and said that he took the least scientific approach to team leadership of any owner in the league today. Hardly high praise.

They kicked off the season 2-16, and while they were able to turn the ship around once Buck Showalter stepped in late in the season, I wouldn’t start the presses on those “Baltimore Orioles Division Champs” shirts just yet.

4. William Clay Ford
Fire Matt Millen! Fire Matt Millen! Guess what the one thing the Detroit Lions owner refused to do for years and years and years? Bingo.

Millen was single-handedly destroying this team through both inaction and ridiculous draft picks and acquisitions, and the one person who could stop it, Ford, sat on his hands as one of the NFL’s most historic franchises turned into the football’s answer to the Clippers.

As an NFL owner, your biggest job is this – keep the stadium full so that the fans can watch their team on TV. Well, as recently as 2008, the Lions had to black out 5 of their last 6 games, with the exception being the gimme Lions home game on Thanksgiving. With the popularity of the NFL, especially in a Midwestern city like Detroit, the inability to perform that simple task means it’s time to hand over the keys to someone who can. It’s a shame city hall can’t step in (then again, look at Detroit’s City Hall). Things are looking better for the Lions these days, but certainly not good.

3. David Glass
Upon his arrival as interim CEO of the Royals in ’93, Glass cut the payroll by more than 50%. Then he urged owners to refuse to negotiate with the players in the days leading up to the strike. Then he advocated the use of scrub players when the players did strike.

He’s become a successful owner in the sense that he makes a lot of money for himself by cutting costs at every opportunity for a personal gain, but of course, that’s not exactly what a city looks for in an owner. Lots of guys can get rich owning a sports team, but only a few can win while they do it. If that’s the guy you’re looking for, you best look past Mr. Glass.

2. Donald Sterling
How excited can you be about a guy that takes a symbol of your town (a sports team) and runs it just like an insurance brokerage firm, with no regard for the sanctity of the sport or the city?

Well, Mr. Sterling, since buying the Clips 30 years ago, has done just that. He has made no bones about making sure everyone knows his concern is the bottom line and nothing else. Win, lose? Doesn’t matter to Sterling, who has figured out that people love sports so much that they’ll pony up to see a bad team, so why spend money on making a team good.

In more recent years, he’s loosened the purse string a little, but it hasn’t made much of a difference. Baron Davis was a poor fit for their offense and hasn’t been the spark that everyone hoped he would be.

Oh yeah. Allegations of sexual harassment and discriminatory hiring practices have been floating around almost as long as Sterling has been there. You run a tight ship, Donald.

1. Al Davis
Where, oh where do we start with the crypt keeper? There was a time when he was a model owner. His teams won, he had incredibly progressive hiring practices, having hired the first Hispanic coach, the second black coach, and a female team president. But that was…a long time ago.

Despite some successes in the early 2000’s which you may or may not admit included a blowout loss in the Super Bowl to Tampa Bay, Davis’ reign since moving the team back to Oakland has been a comedy of errors. Their draft picks have been monumental disasters, their coach’s office has had a revolving door of characters, all of dubious moral fiber (look no further than Tom Cable to see what I’m talking about).

But the good news is that Al Davis will never die and has promised to keep the team until they win two more Super Bowls, which should happen sometime around 2712.

Al Davis

What is it with these NFL fans thinking billboards are the way to influence ownership?  A group called “MessageToAl.com” has purchased a billboard on the freeway right near the Oakland Coliseum pleading with Davis to step down as GM.  The sign reads “MR. DAVIS, DO THE RIGHT THING, PLEASE HIRE A GM.”  The group that purchased the sign claims to have over 20,000 signatures on a petition that not only calls for Davis to step down as GM, but for him to bring a Super Bowl-caliber coach on-board and “agree to refrain from intervention in personnel or football operational matters.”

For a franchise that has won 3 Super Bowls under Al Davis’s tenure, things have slipped quite a bit.  The Raiders now sit at 3-8 and haven’t made the playoffs since 2002.  You know things aren’t good when people are making jokes that you should sign a pigeon for special teams.  Davis has been a controversial figure through good seasons and bad, but the team has hit a new low the last few years and many feel Davis’s unorthodox style has become anachronistic in the modern NFL.

It seems unlikely that a control freak like Davis would relinquish management of the Raiders, but maybe even he is getting tired of the losing.  Only time will tell what happens.

Hat Tip – [ESPN]

On a kickoff by the Raiders, a pigeon flew onto the field.  The pigeon didn’t just fly on the field, however, but actually lined up for the kick and flew down the field as though he was in coverage.  Although the referees did not call a penalty for too many men on the field, the pigeon essentially acted as a 12th man in coverage, running downfield with the kicking team and even playing for containment on the outside.  Other animals on the field haven’t worked out as well, like Sabre the horse for Virginia bucking his rider off.

Was the pigeon the key to the Raiders success this week?  Let’s just say the Raiders are now 1-4 without the pigeon and 1-0 with it.  Al Davis has brought in far worse players for far bigger contracts before, so why not give the pigeon a shot?  There’s no way he can be worse than Jamarcus Russell, who basically looks like bird crap every week.  And I bet he would get more sideline love than Tolzien did for the Badgers last week.

Hat Tip Video – [FanSided]

My how things have changed over the past three days.

The original plan was to have the incident dealt with internally, but after being informed that he will likely be dismissed from his job, Hanson has decided to speak to police regarding what happened on August 5th.  In the meantime, details have begun to leak out, and the National Football Post has it:

The alleged assault took place Aug. 5 after Cable informed Hanson he would no longer be involved with coaching defensive backs on the field and would be relegated to film work, the source said. Cable had been working to reduce Hanson’s role for months, the source said. Cable said that Hanson had been confusing the Raiders’ defensive backs, and Cable held a closed-door meeting with the cornerbacks and safeties and just himself. That led to a meeting between Cable and Hanson in Hanson’s room, and later a meeting with coaches after Cable had instructed Hanson not to come to practice.

In the meeting among coaches that included Cable, defensive coordinator John Marshall, defensive backs coach Lionel Washington and assistant defensive backs coach Willie Brown, Cable allegedly came at Hanson from behind as he was verbally contesting what Marshall had said.

According to the source, Cable knocked Hanson out of his chair and up against the wall and into a cabinet. Cable and Hanson fell to the floor, where Hanson was choked, the source said, and Cable was pulled off Hanson by the other men before Cable went after Hanson again. [National Football Post]

Reports indicate that later Hanson was told by Cable he would no longer be allowed to coach on the field or travel with the team.  As a result, he left camp and awaited word from Al Davis, who was away resolving the Lane Kiffin issue in New York.  Davis would eventually speak to Hanson:

Hanson met with Davis on Saturday at the club’s headquarters for an hour. Davis told him he could not undermine Cable and allow Hanson to return to his position as a coach, the source said. Davis offered him three alternatives: join the team’s pro personnel department, handle the film tasks Cable had already laid out for him or have Davis honor the remainder of Hanson’s contract and he would not have to work. Hanson told Davis he did not like any of the options. Davis called Hanson on Sunday, and Hanson reiterated he was not interested in any of the three possibilities, and Hanson hung up the phone on Davis, the source said. [National Football Post]

It is now expected that police will be informed of what really went down between Hanson and Cable.  This is bad news for the current Raiders head coach, as Hanson’s broken jaw opens the door for the possibility of felony charges to be laid.

There are many things that need to be addressed on the field in Oakland, but don’t expect Cable to be the one attending to them.  It appears as though he will have some court dates to look forward too in the near future, and if the judicial system doesn’t get him, you can bet NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will.

Hat Tip – [National Football Post]

In my opinion Harrison has been one of the best receivers in the league over the last decade and will one day be immortalized in the Hall of Fame.  Has he lost a step? Yes, Can he still contribute to an NFL team? Maybe.  Let’s take a look a which teams might be interested in the aging All-Pro.

Philadelphia Eagles-  The Eagles always seem to be looking for more depth at wide receiver.  Bringing a veteran like Harrison in to help out their young receiving core could be a great move.  Also, Donovan McNabb might welcome the chance to be reunited with his former Syracuse teammate.

Oakland Raiders-  Al Davis loves to overpay for players who are past their prime, so Harrison could be a good fit here.  He actually might be a nice safety valve for JaMarcus Russell

Jacksonville Jaguars-  The Jags needs help at receiver big time.  Why not sign Harrison? At least if they do he can’t burn them for touchdowns anymore.

The problem is not so much on the field as it is off of it. It sits in it’s private booth on Sunday’s and has complete control of the teams operations, decisions go through him and he has the last say, his name is Al Davis. The stern man that runs the show in Oakland, is driving the franchise into the dirt and has little care about what people think of him. There comes a point when someone has to be labeled as naive to not realize what is going on around them, Al Davis has far exceeded this notion.

This is just a report but were it to be true, we are left questioning Al’s decision yet again and with the number of head coaches that have walked through the revolving door in Oakland it reaches a point that maybe the head coaches are not the problem. I have nothing against Tom Cable personally but this would be his second stint as a head coach in his career and to think that finishing a season 4-8 in the final 12 games is satisfactory means that the standards in Oakland are set way too low.

I hope for Raider fans that this move works out for the best, although, I highly doubt it will, but should it not the next move must be to replace an out of touch Managing General Partner. Al Davis has been quoted saying that he will not retire until the Raiders win 2 more Super Bowls, I guess the Raiders are stuck in this predicament for a lot longer then I thought.