Professional race car drivers have two things going for them when it comes to shagging and/or shacking up with hot women. One, they have dangerous and exciting careers. Chicks dig that. Two, they’re wealthy. Chicks dig that too. So it’s not hard to understand why NASCAR drivers would have exceptionally hot wives and girlfriends.

For us regular, non-race-car-driving guys of average wealth, this situation can be pretty maddening. I mean, have you ever seen Kyle Busch? I don’t mean to pick on him, but the dude is definitely below average in the looks department. Yet he’s got a crazy hot babe for a wife (#5). The difference between him and you (and me)? A kajillion dollars.

However, here is one thing us regular dudes have going for us: no one is making lists of our wives and girlfriends for the whole world to ogle. So consider this list of 9 Smoking Hot NASCAR WAGs a way of balancing out the injustice of the universe. Enjoy.

9. Athena Barber

Athena Barber was the longtime girlfriend of driver Clint Bowyer, but they broke up in 2007. Sometime after that, Barber dated—or at the very least mated with—Alex Gordon, because she had his son in January of 2010. Apparently Gordon now has some other girlfriend, but I figure being the baby mamma of a NASCAR driver is good enough to get this FHM model on this list.

8. Kate Edwards

You may not spot Kate Edwards in any revealing outfits any time soon, because doctors are usually too busy saving lives and whatnot to prance around in bikinis. That’s right, NASCAR driver Carl Edwards’ wife Kate is an MD. So, she’s really beautiful and smart. Nice catch, Carl.

7. Chandra Johnson

Four time NASCAR driver of the year Jimmie Johnson got himself one of those classy hotties for a wife. Chandra is another one you probably won’t see laying on the hood of a car any time soon. But that doesn’t mean this model-turned-mom isn’t super sexy.

6. Lynne Kushnirenko Allmendinger

Lynne Kushnirenko Allmendinger: how’s that for a mouthful? Lynn Kush, as she is more often called, is a Canadian Playboy model. Oh, and a chiropractor. I wonder which line of work attracted husband A.J. Allmendinger more? Normally, I would assume it was the Playboy modeling. But I suspect NASCAR drivers often suffer from chronic back pain and stiffness, so the fact that Lynne is a chiropractor might have been a big selling point as well. (On a related note, I would think being a former Playboy model would be bad for the chiropractic business. Seems like you’d be getting all these pervs coming in expecting something more akin to a sensual massage than a realignment.)

5. Samantha Busch

Surprise, surprise, another NASCAR driver with a model wife. In this case, we’re looking at the worst hot-to-not ratio of any couple on the list. I’d put Mrs. Busch at about an 8, while Mr. Busch is probably no better than a 3. That’s why I included the second picture of these two lovebirds together. I wanted you to experience the disparity in attractiveness for yourself.

4. Ashley Judd

Ashley Judd’s husband Dario Franchitti currently races on the IndyCar circuit, but he used to race in NASCAR. So I applied to the government’s Bureau of Internet Affairs, Hot Women Division, for permission to include her on this list anyway. My application was accepted. They said since it would be theoretically possibly for Franchitti to switch back to NASCAR at any time, it is permissible to include her here. So, yeah, here she is. Freaking gorgeous, right? Right.

3. Ingrid Vandebosch

Jeff Gordon’s first wife, Brooke, was pretty. Jeff Gordon’s second wife, Ingrid Vandebosch, is off the charts. Hell, you know what I’m talking about. You’re looking at her right now. Anyway, it usually makes me uncomfortable when guys dump one wife and marry someone hotter. It just seems kind of slimy. In this particular case, there is one redeeming factor: at least Gordon didn’t dump his wife for someone younger and hotter. That’s right, the soon-to-be 41-year-old Vandebosch is actually one year older than husband Jeff.

2. Jordan Fish

Denny Hamlin’s girlfriend (or possibly financee by now) is a dancer for the NBA’s Charlotte Bobcats. Or she was at one point. Hell, I don’t know what Jordan’s up to these days. But I bet whatever it is, she still looks damn sexy doing it. Congratulations, Denny.

1. Niki Taylor

If it seems like Niki Taylor has been around forever, that’s because she has. The 35-year-old swimsuit model has been one of the world’s most recognizable faces since she was just 15. The still ridiculously gorgeous Taylor has been married to NASCAR “driver” Burney Lamar since 2006, and together they have one daughter. Now, I put “driver” in quotations there because old Burney isn’t racing much these days. He’s been a free agent since being released from Braun Racing in 2009. Still, not matter how poorly his career is going, he can always remind himself, “I am married to a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.”

Sometimes, the “next best thing to being there” can be pretty damn boring. Many sports hinge on atmosphere or a sense of intimacy that the camera just can’t capture. And sometimes, boring sports are just made more boring by not being there. The good news is, if you’re watching a boring sport on TV, you can always go out and do something else. The bad news is you’re too lazy, so that doesn’t apply to you. So if you come across one of these gems, don’t feel bad about closing your eyes and dozing off for a 3 PM Saturday nap. We won’t judge you.

9. Golf
I’ll grant that watching golf on television is better than watching it in person, but that’s not to say it’s still not a total snooze. You lose the ball in the sky, you can’t see the course, and they’re constantly jumping from golfer to golfer to give no real sense of continuity. The announcers are reminiscent of your boring uncle, and you’re not even getting fresh air or a walk. There’s a reason this sport on TV knocks people out faster than Ambien.
 
 
8. Swimming
I’ll be the first to admit, 2008 went a long way towards developing appreciation and interest in swimming. I’ll also be the first to admit that I could make painting my bedroom a national fascination if I it was an Olympic sport. You can’t see the swimmers, so you can’t cheer or appreciate your favorite. Instead, you end up rooting for a rubber hat and goggles. When the moving yellow lines that represent the world record and Olympic record make the sport about 70% more interesting, you’ve got a boring sport.

7. Auto Racing
So much of enjoying an auto race has to do with the environment, so to do away with that aspect in a television broadcast is to essentially neuter the sport. Television makes the cars seem as though they’re going about 15 miles an hour, which torpedoes the thrill aspect. Further, not experiencing the deafening sound or even the smells of the cars is a big factor in making this sport a total dud on TV.
 
 
6. Horse Racing
Unless you’re a degenerate gambler that can’t make it to the track, don’t bother watching the ponies on TV. You’ll get sucked in to 45 minutes of crap in anticipation of two minutes of action. I suppose you can throw a Kentucky Derby party and enjoy yourself, but the race on television won’t be the star. Even a trip to your local divey track is better than the finest the sport has to offer on television. On TV, you only get to watch one race, and you probably aren’t gambling. Pass.
 
5. Poker
Yeah, we’re gonna call poker a sport. It’s on all the sports channels and it’s people competing for money. Close enough, okay? It may be a sport, but it’s one hell of a boring sport. Besides the fact that watching people match wits with playing cards is not, how you say, fun. The drama is sanitized out. These poker players show absolutely no emotion, so it’s damn near impossible to care if these guys win and lose.
 
 
4. Baseball
I like watching baseball on TV. But when I say “watching,” I mean “having on in the background while I live my life.” It’s pleasant, and I enjoy the sounds of the crowd, the skill of most of the announcers (no sport has better announcers than baseball, by and large), and the periodic moments of action. However, it never captures my attention. I have tried to focus on a baseball game for three hours and succeeded during the playoffs, but in July when the Royals are playing the Angels, you already know that none of this is going to matter, so leave on the TV, but you better find something else to do.

3. Bowling
While people could argue that bowling is just a boring sport and would probably be right, the TV makes it more boring. It’s not like bowlers have magnetic charisma, and you must experience the sport in person to enjoy it, but bowling seems very one-dimensional when being broadcast. Pool for instance, gets surprisingly watchable when aired on TV. Not so with bowling. Factor in the announcers with all the charm of your high school driving instructor, and you’ve got a dud.
 
2. Medium/Long Distance Running
Step, repeat. Step, repeat. Repeat until bored. If I have to tell you why watching a person run (especially on a round track) for anything more than four minutes is boring, then you should go to the doctor, because you might be a moron. The last moments may be a competitive struggle, but the wait is arduous. If I wanted to watch people run all day, I’d…I’d…well, I can’t imagine an instance in which I would want to watch people run in a straight line all day.
 
1. Curling
Sure, the novelty of the brooms, the pucks that look like Snorks, and the crazy Norwegian trousers kept our attention to the point where the sport became something of a cultural phenomenon, but make no mistake: the sport is enjoyed by 90% of its audience on an ironic level. If this sport didn’t play on a scale as grand as the Olympics, people couldn’t change the channel quick enough. Every four years is just the right amount of frequency.

Those who know auto racing know who Ayrton Senna is.  The Brazilian who dominated Formula One racing during the late 80s and early 90s before tragically passing away was especially known for his fearless style while both passing opponents, and while preventing them from passing him on the race track.

Well this is one pass attempt that I don’t believe even Senna could have prevented.

During the Formula One Italian Grand Prix over the weekend, the radio engineer for Team Hispania was hit by the back tire and rear wing of Sakon Yamamoto’s car as he was exiting pit row.  The injured crew member could be seen leaning over into the cockpit to repair something when suddenly Yamamoto began to speed off, sending the man tumbling across the ground.

Reports indicate that he was responsive the entire time as medics attended to him and was later taken to the hospital, but was not believed to be seriously injured.  Team Hispania was fined $20,000 over the incident.

There is a Team Hispania in Formula One?  Could have fooled me.  I guess running over a pit crew member is one way to get people to realize you exist.

Hat Tip – [Guardian]

Unfortunately, this guy’s job entails that he captures footage of the cars as they make their pit stops, but with his eyes focused on the camera lens, it should come as little surprising to see that he didn’t notice the other car coming his way.

You have to love the focus of the pit crew workers though.  They don’t even flinch at the sight of a body flying across the asphalt.  They just carry on with their job.  As for the cameraman, I think it is fair to say that he deserves a raise.

Total Pro Sports – It was only five days ago that we witnessed the freakish accident which resulted in the death of F2 driver Henry Surtees.  Today a similar incident played out at the Hungarian Grand Prix involving Felipe Massa.  Luckily he did not suffer the same fate as Surtees.

Surtees death occurred when he was struck in the head by a tire which was dislodged from the car of Jack Clarke after he hit the wall at Brands Hatch in England.  Earlier today, during the qualifying session for tomorrow’s Formula One race in Hungary, Felipe Massa was hit in the head by what appeared to be a spring, which had fallen off another car on the track.  After taking the spring off the helmet, Massa was knocked unconscious, causing him to crash into an  oncoming tire wall.

Upon first glance, it seems like a harmless accident, but when replays were slowed down, the object could be seen flying directly at the head of Massa.  The Brazilian, who was airlifted to AEK hospital, suffered bone damage to his skull and a concussion.  He requires operations and will remain under observation in intensive care for the time being.  His condition has been listed as stable and he was conscious upon arrival at the hospital.

Auto and motor racing alike can be quite dangerous, even fatal, at times.  With the high speeds participants travel at, the slightest misjudgment, error, or case of bad luck can cause serious injury.  Some are lucky enough to flirt with death and escape without harm.  Others unfortunately are not.

Here is the clip.

You can spot the spring in the slow motion replay at about the 1:47 mark.

Hat Tip – [TSN.ca]

Update 7:00 pm Eastern: “I just came back from the hospital.Felipe went trough a cirurgy which went very well.Now he is asleep waiting for a new scan tomorrow” Via Rubens Barrichello Twitter page

Felipe Massa Car After Crash

Felipe Massa Helmet After Crash

Felipe Massa Carried Away After Crash

Total Pro Sports – In one of the most tragic and unusual finishes in auto racing ever, NASCAR Mexico driver Carlos Pardo was involved in a terrible accident with only a few laps remaining, leaving his car in hundreds of pieces, ending the race, earning himself the victory, and eventually taking his life.

The race in Pueblo was on the 97th lap when Pardo was nudged from behind, causing him to spin out right into the wall at the pit lane entrance at an estimated 120 mph.  He was eventually removed from the wreckage and taken to the hospital by helicopter where he died 45 minutes later.

Pardo was later awarded the victory as the race was called due to a time limit after the accident.  At the time, he was in the lead.

The crash is unbelievable when seen for the first time.  Auto racing has seen many fatal accidents, but this may be the most devastating I have ever witnessed.  It looks as though a giant explosion had taken place upon impact and it even appears as though the end of the wall was broken off as a result.  There was no avoiding this crash, and unfortuantely Pardo did not have the same luck as this rally car driver.  Not even the impact of a giant school bus into the wall can compare with what was witnessed on this track just east of Mexico City.

NASCAR Mexico is a partnership of NASCAR and the Mexican live entertainment company CIE.  In an attempt to expand their product overseas, the large American auto racing group just showed Mexicans the dangers involved in their sport.  It is a sad moment for Pardo’s friends and family, as well as members of NASCAR Mexico, but if there is any consolation, at least Carlos went out on top.

[Fox Sports]

In another one of Red Bull’s extreme promotional gigs, their NASCAR team staged a pit stop right in the middle of time square.  Once he received word over the radio, Red Bull driver Brian Vickers raced his car up to his crew, pulled over and completed the full pit stop.  He then raced off, being sure not to hit one of the many cabs or bicycle riders that usually crowd the major intersection in Manhattan.

Rather than take it to the air, like they did with Reggie Bush, Red Bull kept this one on the ground, but it still provided a similar flare.  So what do they have in mind for their next act?  May I suggest skydiving without a parachute.  Only question then is which athlete should they throw off the cliff?  I hear Roger Clemens is free these days.

Hat Tip Video – [FromTheMarbles] and more Photos Via – [YahooSports]

Brian Vickers Pit Stop In Times Square

Red Bulls Brian Vickers Pit Stop In Times Square

Red Bulls Brian Vickers Makes Pit Stop In Times Square