Only in America, right? (Well, maybe in Canada, too.)

Today, to celebrate the world’s #1 piece of erotic workout equipment, Total Pro Sports brings you a list of 15 hilarious Shake Weight GIFs. They are guaranteed to brighten your day.

And then there is the story line developing on the set at NBA on TNT, as we are all left to wonder how Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith will handle having some of the spotlight taken away from them with the addition of Shaquille O’Neal.

Judging by the looks of it, they already don’t seem very pleased with it.  And this was only the introduction.

Charles Barkley was one of the fiercest competitors and best rebounders that the NBA had ever seen.  He averaged a double-double in points and rebounds for an incredible 15 straight seasons while playing for the Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns and Houston Rockets.  Barkley was named to the All-Star Game in 11 consecutive seasons from 1987-1997 and was named as the 1993 NBA regular season Most Valuable Player.  Sir Charles was one of the most colorful personalities in sports and remains so to this day as a basketball commentator for TNT.

Barkley did not want the last image of his career to be of him being carried off the court.  So in the final home game of the season, he suited up, played and was able to walk off the court for the final time in his Hall-of-Fame career.

Here are some great plays from Barkley’s career.

Notable Birthdays

Mike Mussina, MLB – Born December 8th 1968 (age 43) in Williamsport, Pennsylvania

Phillip Rivers, NFL – Born December 8th 1981 (age 30) in Decatur, Alabama

Dwight Howard, NBA – Born December 8th 1985 (age 26) in Atlanta, Georgia

The leap from pro athlete to studio host or analyst is something of a no-brainer. “Hey, this guy played sports. He should have no problem talking about them in front of a national audience.” Of course, anyone who watches sports knows the success ratio here is like 14%. Becoming successful in this arena usually takes eloquence, wit, knowledge, and a work ethic that some players just don’t have. Here are 9 guys (well, 8 guys and 1 girl) that do.

9. Steve Young
Any studio host that can get into it with Michael Irvin on the air is okay in my book. He’s eloquent, he’s smart, but he’s not that engaging. He’s extremely competent, which is high praise for a former athlete that’s foind their way into the studio, but he lacks an interactive quality that many of the goofier studio hosts have. That said, he holds down the fort well, and tempers a lot of the other personalities in the room. Case in point being Michael Irvin.
 
 
8. Charles Barkley
He’s not a “numbers guy.” Far from it, rather. But he’s smart, observant, and, above all, hilarious. He drinks a 12-pack of Heineken during the games, so if he seems a little loopier during the final segment than he did at halftime, that’s why. He says tons of inappropriate things during the program, but the rub of it is: he’s rarely wrong. EJ pulled the plug on him when he and Tracy Morgan went on a diatribe with Barkley eliciting from Morgan that Palin was “good masturbation material.” He drinks, he calls everyone out, he has a good sense of humor. He’s the lynchpin of the best studio team in sports.

7. Troy Aikman
When he first stepped into the booth, Aikman appeared to be something of a novelty act. To have called him “wooden” would have been an insult to trees. The guy took a long time to find his groove, his cadence, and his tone. But now that he has, he’s widely considered one of the best in the booth. He isn’t particularly funny, he sure isn’t wacky (thank God), but he is one of the most reliable guys out there. If San Diego has been running traps all day, you can count on Aikman to let you know why they’re working, and to call out when they run them later in the game. His professionalism is commensurate with many other players in the league, but his insight is far better.

6. Jalen Rose
His playing days peaked in college, but after his NBA career, Rose found a new calling as one of the best young analysts in any sport. His work with ESPN shows an insight and eloquence that one rarely sees from former players, as evidenced by his work as a contributor to the Huffington Post. Many players make the leap to announcing or analysis because they don’t know what else to do. Rose has done it because he has something to say. Strangely, I hope that he doesn’t end up anchoring a studio show, but continues his role as a participant. I like him against bigger personalities as he lets others take the spotlight as he’s content simply being right.

5. Al Leiter
One of the smartest guys in the game, I only really see him during Fox’s playoff coverage, as I don’t watch the MLB Network’s studio show and sure as hell don’t watch YES. He walks the delicate lines between captivating and gimmicky, professional and dry, smart and condescending. There’s so much minutiae in baseball that will escape even serious fans. Leiter is able to draw on his experience and knowledge to pick it up and share it.
 
 
4. Steve Kerr
Steve Kerr went from being a situational player to an announcer to a front-office exec, back to an announcer. His time spent as President of the Suns didn’t go as planned, as he dismantled the team while failing to create a nucleus in its place. Although his stint as President didn’t work out, the Suns were able to see something in him from his time spent as an analyst. He knows the game forward and backwards. He can talk as easily about what happens off the court as what happens

3. John Kruk
While many argue that Kruk’s presence in the studio is largely that of an entertainer, I would respond by saying a) no it’s not, and b) so what if it was? Baseball, more than any other sport, is driven by statistics and situational analysis, yet the most iconic announcers, color guys, and analysts aren’t the ones that can spout off the most figures, but the ones that can tell a story and educate you in the process. Sure, Kruk comes across as more gruff than say, Peter Gammons, but he knows what he’s talking about, and his ability to bring some color to the conversation is virtually unmatched.

2. Mary Carillo
Rather than hold her to a standard of former players or female analysts, I will simply say that Mary Carillo was the best tennis analyst around and is now following the career arc of Bob Costas, participating in any sporting event where a network needs a knowledgeable, well-spoken analyst. Of course, tennis will always be her bread and butter, having been called the sport’s best analyst by no less than Sports Illustrated, but she’s gone on to anchor everything from the Olympics to the Westminster Dog Show on her talents.

1. Nick Faldo
To the untrained fan (me), it’s very hard to tell a good announcer or analyst from a bad one. Of course golf is a game of nuance, but the low whisper of the announcers and the relatively joyless delivery by so many involved leads many to believe that the characters are interchangeable. Well, Faldo differentiates himself not only with knowledge, and the credibility of actually having played, rather than just been a country club rat. He also brings *gasp* levity to golf.

Noah, on the one hand, decided to fire back with an expletive-laced homophobic tirade.  As for Barkley, he chose to keep his mouth shut when confronted with chants of “F*ck You Chuck.”  Instead, he fired back with a “f*ck you” of his own, in the form of two middle fingers raised high in the air.

In case you were wondering, the hate for Chuck stems from his comments earlier in the season that the Heat are a bunch of whiny babies.  I wonder if this incident has him feeling the same way about their fans.

Hat Tip – [Cosby Sweaters]

Last night, “the wall” got in on the fun as well, as Kenny was spooked by the giant head of a laughing ghoul when he approached the screen to break down a play from the Bulls’ game against the Hawks.

Oddly enough, the ghoul was only the second creepiest thing on that giant screen, thanks to the presence of Joakim Noah.

The hilarity began on the first tee, as Barkley performed his patented stanky-leg golf swing, before eventually watching the head of his driver fly further than his golf ball.  Everyone had a kick out of it, including Barkley’s partner, Fuzzy Zoeller.  His fellow TNT studio mates, Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith also seemed to enjoy the spectacle, and they were kind enough to share this “must see” moment with us all during yesterday’s coverage of the NBA Playoffs on TNT.

Enjoy!

Last night, those words were directed at the Miami Heat, who entered their game against the Los Angeles Lakers having lost their last five in a row.  Barkley voiced his displeasure with the Heat’s bitterness towards the media’s criticisms, and with LeBron James and Dwyane Wade in particular over their constant reference to the fact that “America is happy now that the Miami Heat are losing.”

I’d have to agree with most of what Barkley says.  It was the Heat that said they would win five NBA titles.  It was the Heat that held a championship parade before the season even began.  And now it is definitely the Heat players who are “whining and b*tching like a little girl.”  All valid points.

What I disagree with, however, is his belief that “the only people who hate the Miami Heat are Cleveland Cavaliers fans.”  Not true Barkley.  I hate the Heat as well!

Hat Tip – [Barstool U]

If you thought Charles Barkley’s golf swing was frightening, wait until you see him do the dougie!  The NBA Hall of Famer and TNT analyst may want to call that dancing, but it is “more like a full-body dry-heave set to music.”  Perhaps he and Elaine Benes should have themselves a dance-off.

Athletes are not, by and large, interesting people. It’s not their fault – most people aren’t interesting. However, some athletes warrant a closer look for a variety of reasons. Perhaps they’re awful (see directly below), crazy, wildly entertaining, or just too good to be true. I wouldn’t wish a reality television show upon my worst enemy. Good thing these folks aren’t my worst enemies, they’re athletes. They exist solely for my entertainment and should be exploited as such. Seems reasonable, right?

9. A-Rod
Is he constantly fed popcorn by his women? How discouraging would it be to everyone if his life was filmed and it turned out that he was actually a pretty cool guy? America needs to know more about A-Rod if we’re going to keep up our hatred of him. It would be a lot harder to hate the guy if we knew that he spent Saturdays in the off season making little model trains and wearing a conductors hat. And, of course, there’s the whole rumor that he has a painting of himself as a centaur over his bed. (A rumor that I’m totally willing to believe and makes me like him about a thousand times more than I did.) A reality show could teach us so much. Like why his lips are purple and how one of the world’s most hated men is able to date the world’s most famous actress.

8. Usain Bolt
HerThere are the things I know about Usain Bolt: He’s the fastest man in the world. He’s still the fastest man in the world when he beats his chest and shows off for the crowd. Uh, yeah, I’d like to know more about this guy. Does he act like that at church? Are there things he does really slowly? Perhaps he’s a slow eater, or he files his Jamaican income taxes late every year because he just can’t find the time.

I don’t know why, but I feel like my life would be substantially better if I knew for a fact that Usain Bolt drove an early-80’s conversion van. I can’t explain why. It’s just how I feel.

7. Tom Brady
One gets the feeling with Tom Brady that this isn’t a guy that screws up a lot. He’s not going to drive into downtown Boston for dinner, then, halfway there, realize that he forgot his wallet and start hitting himself in the head, yelling “Stupid, stupid, stupid” while Giselle rolls her eyes. But he does screw up. He has to. And I think it would make all men feel a little bit better if we could see him do it. Like flooding the toilet or realizing that he left the keys in the front door when he came home. Not asking for the world here, just something to remind us that we’re not ENTIRELY different from this man who can seem to do no wrong.

6. Doug Christie
It’s been a while since this guy was relevant, so let’s revisit this dude. He was a professional basketball player. A guard that made a name for himself on the Sacramento Kings. That’s the boring part. His career was pretty unspectacular.

What was spectacular was the extent to which this dude was whipped by his wife, Julie. While dribbling up the court, he would make hand gestures to her (over 50 per game) that conveyed things like “I love you” and “I’m thinking about you.” Never mind that he should have been a little more concerned with what happens if the defenders switch on the high screen that’s about to be set for him, a pro basketball game is not the venue to express your love for your wife. She would travel with him on road trips and wouldn’t let him speak with female reporters because she feared the temptations of the pro athlete lifestyle.

They actually did have a reality show on BET in 2006, but I’m calling for another one, post-retirement, to check in on this happy couple, since no one watched the first one since: a) it was on BET, b) it took place during the nadir of his career. Let’s see what’s cracking with the Christies now that he doesn’t have basketball to distract him at all from his overbearing wife. Does he still make those hand signals while he mows the lawn?

5. Brett Favre
This reality show would just exist to tie up loose ends, like they failed to do towards the end of “Lost.” The program would just serve to address a bunch of superficial stuff, as I don’t think Brett Favre is a particularly dynamic individual off of the football field. However, I would like to know if he wears Crocs frequently, or just when he’s taking pictures of his dong. Also, I would like to know if he owns a bunch of stuff that isn’t made in America. In my mind, Brett Favre only buys American. I could see him paying three times as much for a substandard television, only because it was born in the USA. There would also have to be an episode where he has to go back to Green Bay for some reason. Maybe they could just have him stand on the street while the championship parade goes by. Like I said, not looking for anything terribly important here, just want to get a little more insight into the former Mr. Football.

4. Tiger Woods
The public has really moved on from this guy, and it’s a real shame. I’m not asking for a boring Newlyweds-type reality show, but rather a Bret Michaels-type dating show. After all the unpleasantness over a year ago, we still don’t know Tiger’s type except for “women.” Specifically, “blonde.” How would he do if he dated a woman that made more money than he did? Granted, that would have to be Meg Whitman or J.K. Rowling, but still… Also, America deserves to know what he REALLY thinks of Buick.

3. Andy Roddick
We’d call this show “Brooklyn Decker by Proxy.” Andy Roddick doesn’t strike me as a terribly interesting person, but we’d gladly put up with him for 30 or 60 minutes per week just to revel in the sheer awesomeness of his wife. This show is a serious no-brainer. Men everywhere could watch Brooklyn microwave soup and be enthralled. And if the cameras had to follow her on her swimsuit shoots, then so be it. It’s all in the name of art. For the sake of the show, they could cut back to Andy every twenty minutes or so and see how he’s doing on the couch or maybe just cut to footage of him sleeping for thirty seconds, then get back to Brooklyn rubbing lotion on her legs or something.

2. Park Sung Hyun
What? You don’t know who Park Sung Hyun is? She’s only the world’s best archer. I have known that for all of 23 seconds, since I googled “who is the world’s best archer.” We really don’t need a reality show for many of the more mainstream athletes. We know how pro football and soccer players live. They live well. They enjoy their fame and money. As well they should, but it’s not exactly a compelling story every time around. Which is why I propose we get better acquainted with the likes of Mrs. Sung Hyun. Nobody knows how a professional archer lives. She may or may not lead an interesting life, but it’s probably different than Mark Sanchez’s. If it’s not different than Mark’s life, then Mr. Sanchez should probably go about living his life a little better. Weird “athletes” like this ought to be documented just because, at some point in their lives, their dumb little skill will come in handy in a practical situation, and it will validate their entire existence. I can’t for the life of me think of an instance when archery or lawn bowling would come in handy (for archery, maybe killing a bear, for lawn bowling, never), but I’m sure it’s possible.

1. Charles Barkley
I could watch or listen this guy read the ingredients off of a cereal box, so it stands to reason that I could spend some time every week watching him do more interesting stuff. As fun as it is to watch the Chuckster interact with others, the purpose of this show would be to watch him do stuff on his own. There’s no chance in hell that Sir Charles doesn’t spend at least an hour a day talking to himself. America deserves to see what he has to say while he’s alone. What does he yell at his Ikea dresser when he finds out that he lost three of the screws? My guess is he calls it a stupid turkey, but we’ll need the reality show to know for sure.