Sometimes, the “next best thing to being there” can be pretty damn boring. Many sports hinge on atmosphere or a sense of intimacy that the camera just can’t capture. And sometimes, boring sports are just made more boring by not being there. The good news is, if you’re watching a boring sport on TV, you can always go out and do something else. The bad news is you’re too lazy, so that doesn’t apply to you. So if you come across one of these gems, don’t feel bad about closing your eyes and dozing off for a 3 PM Saturday nap. We won’t judge you.

9. Golf
I’ll grant that watching golf on television is better than watching it in person, but that’s not to say it’s still not a total snooze. You lose the ball in the sky, you can’t see the course, and they’re constantly jumping from golfer to golfer to give no real sense of continuity. The announcers are reminiscent of your boring uncle, and you’re not even getting fresh air or a walk. There’s a reason this sport on TV knocks people out faster than Ambien.
 
 
8. Swimming
I’ll be the first to admit, 2008 went a long way towards developing appreciation and interest in swimming. I’ll also be the first to admit that I could make painting my bedroom a national fascination if I it was an Olympic sport. You can’t see the swimmers, so you can’t cheer or appreciate your favorite. Instead, you end up rooting for a rubber hat and goggles. When the moving yellow lines that represent the world record and Olympic record make the sport about 70% more interesting, you’ve got a boring sport.

7. Auto Racing
So much of enjoying an auto race has to do with the environment, so to do away with that aspect in a television broadcast is to essentially neuter the sport. Television makes the cars seem as though they’re going about 15 miles an hour, which torpedoes the thrill aspect. Further, not experiencing the deafening sound or even the smells of the cars is a big factor in making this sport a total dud on TV.
 
 
6. Horse Racing
Unless you’re a degenerate gambler that can’t make it to the track, don’t bother watching the ponies on TV. You’ll get sucked in to 45 minutes of crap in anticipation of two minutes of action. I suppose you can throw a Kentucky Derby party and enjoy yourself, but the race on television won’t be the star. Even a trip to your local divey track is better than the finest the sport has to offer on television. On TV, you only get to watch one race, and you probably aren’t gambling. Pass.
 
5. Poker
Yeah, we’re gonna call poker a sport. It’s on all the sports channels and it’s people competing for money. Close enough, okay? It may be a sport, but it’s one hell of a boring sport. Besides the fact that watching people match wits with playing cards is not, how you say, fun. The drama is sanitized out. These poker players show absolutely no emotion, so it’s damn near impossible to care if these guys win and lose.
 
 
4. Baseball
I like watching baseball on TV. But when I say “watching,” I mean “having on in the background while I live my life.” It’s pleasant, and I enjoy the sounds of the crowd, the skill of most of the announcers (no sport has better announcers than baseball, by and large), and the periodic moments of action. However, it never captures my attention. I have tried to focus on a baseball game for three hours and succeeded during the playoffs, but in July when the Royals are playing the Angels, you already know that none of this is going to matter, so leave on the TV, but you better find something else to do.

3. Bowling
While people could argue that bowling is just a boring sport and would probably be right, the TV makes it more boring. It’s not like bowlers have magnetic charisma, and you must experience the sport in person to enjoy it, but bowling seems very one-dimensional when being broadcast. Pool for instance, gets surprisingly watchable when aired on TV. Not so with bowling. Factor in the announcers with all the charm of your high school driving instructor, and you’ve got a dud.
 
2. Medium/Long Distance Running
Step, repeat. Step, repeat. Repeat until bored. If I have to tell you why watching a person run (especially on a round track) for anything more than four minutes is boring, then you should go to the doctor, because you might be a moron. The last moments may be a competitive struggle, but the wait is arduous. If I wanted to watch people run all day, I’d…I’d…well, I can’t imagine an instance in which I would want to watch people run in a straight line all day.
 
1. Curling
Sure, the novelty of the brooms, the pucks that look like Snorks, and the crazy Norwegian trousers kept our attention to the point where the sport became something of a cultural phenomenon, but make no mistake: the sport is enjoyed by 90% of its audience on an ironic level. If this sport didn’t play on a scale as grand as the Olympics, people couldn’t change the channel quick enough. Every four years is just the right amount of frequency.

When things get tense in the world of curling, it can get downright mean.  Take Great Britain’s Eve Muirhead for example.  Trailing 6-3 to the Japanese team, Eve decides other tactics in trying to get inside the head of her curler opponents: by making fun of the size of their boyfriends’ junk.

What you don’t know is that one of the boyfriends jumped onto the ice and actually exposed himself to prove that it wasn’t as small as Eve indicated before.  Nope. It was as small as Eve is indicating here in this very picture.   Oh, the humanity.

So with popularity rising in the curling world, even people in Australia are catching on, and what better way to learn a little something about the game than by playing a few ends on the Nintendo Wii.  Oddly enough, this version of the game makes these two reporters look like they are doing anything but curling.  In fact, it actually appears as though they are….

Perhaps we will let you use your imagination for this one.

Could you imagine if curling really looked like this?  It would make watching hotties like Madeleine Dupont in action that much more entertaining.

Check Out These Great Stories

HOT Blond Girl Working Out Naked (Vid)

Sex in the Shower, You can't Beat it!!

10 of the Strangest Workout Videos Ever

Om Nom Nom Nom Camel Toe (Pics)

Hilary Duff Gives Boyfriend a Wet Blow Job (Pics)

Color me surprised when I heard that cheering is not usually allowed during the matches except before and after points.  That’s not exactly what the Canadians were doing, as they were yelling during Danish curler, Madeleine Dupont’s final round that she wound up losing.  After the match she said that it was hard to hear her team when she had 6,000 fans hootin’ and hollerin,’ suggesting that was why she lost the match.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how cheering affects curling so much.  It’s not exactly golf.  In every other sport where you need instructions from your teammates and coaches, fans are allowed to yell.  I just don’t understand why curling gets a free pass.

Besides, maybe they weren’t yelling for her to miss.  Perhaps they were yelling because Ms. Dupont is fairly attractive and her nip showed up on the internet last week.

Hat Tip – [Fourth-Place Medal]

David Letterman man not be a big fan of curling, but even he would likely find some enjoyment in watching Danish skip Madeleine Dupont in action.  The 22-year-old has been the talk of the curling rinks in Vancouver, but much of that is the result of what she has done off the ice, rather than on it.

Let us introduce you to exhibit A: The partially nude side-boob pic of Madeleine which was taken for a topless calender.  How can you not love charity?

How we forgot to add Madeleine to our list of 25 hot Olympians is something we will continue to ponder, but now that most have become aware of this broom wielding beauty, you can bet the ratings for Olympic curling will soar to new limits.

UPDATE: The Canadian crowds have brought tears to Maddy’s eyes!  Oh how I would love to be the shoulder she cries on.

Hat Tip – [Deadspin]

So just how boring is curling to Letterman?  Apparently his writers had a tough time staying awake while researching it for this list.  Perhaps they should have looked up Jennifer Jones.  This hot Canadian skip is capable of making knitting enjoyable for male viewers.

And if she doesn’t get the testosterone going, we have a feeling that both Austria’s Claudia Toth and Russia’s Liudmila Privivkova will.

Hat Tip – [Fourth-Place Medal]

Had they been playing Canada, Great Britain, Germany, or just about any other country not situated in East-Asia, this comment may have been appropriate.  Unfortunately, they were not.

Way to think this one through Ebersol and company.

Hat Tip Pic – [Deadspin]

I know most of you south of the border (USA) probably don’t even know that curling even existed, and that’s fine because sometimes I wonder why this sport was even invented?  The unfortunate thing in Canada is that the sport of curling is huge and has always drawn large crowds.

Yes that’s right I’m more then happy to admit that Canadians love the cold and sports that involve a sheet of ice.

So if you didn’t know the 2009 Tim Hortons Brier is being held in Calgary, Alberta (Polar Bears and igloos do not exist there).  After catching some of the nightly sports highlights on TSN (The equivalent to SportsCenter) the show ended with their nightly top plays that included a shot that occurred during curling match between Team Ontario and Team Saskatoon.  Team Ontario was trailing 6-4 and down to their last shot.  Skip Glenn Howard took the stone knowing that if he didn’t score 3 points they would lose the match.  Well let me tell you Glen made one of the most amazing shots in curling history, he knocked both of Team Saskatchewan stones out and scored 3 points to win the match 7-6.

Howard executed the play of the week with the hammer in Ontario’s incredible 7-6 comeback win over Saskatchewan.

“It was an angle-raise, in-off double and then throw-your-hands-in-the-air-and-run-around-like-an-idiot shot,” said Howard, still shaking his head five minutes after the amazing play wowed the Saddledome crowd of 9,601 fans. “I don’t think I was happier when we won (the Brier) in 2007.” [TheRecorder&Times]

If you don’t believe us and have no clue what we are talking about just take a look at the video below and watch the reaction of Glen Howard, Joel Jordison and Team Alberta’s skip Kevin Martin, it’s priceless.

I have to admit after watching this amazing shot, I am now a fan of curling!

Normally I would have very little interest all things curling, but that is before I became familiar with Jennifer Jones.  Jennfier Jones is the skip (captain) for Team Canada and is currently the world curling champion.

We here at TPS just wanted to take moment to let her know that she #1 in our hearts.  We would also like to thank her for giving us a reason to watch curling on television.  Let’s be honest she’s not super hot, but compared to her colleagues she’s Angelina Jolie.

When you think about it, curling has all the ingredients to be an entertaining sport.  It features women grunting and screaming, while they are sweeping, the only problem was the lack of attractive competitors.  Now, that has changed thanks to Jennifer Jones, Cheryl Bernard and others who can make the ice melt.

Thank you women of curling for looking so darn good on the ice, what’s next? Attractive female power lifters?