With Brett Favre’s NFL career likely coming to an end Sunday afternoon as he watched his Vikings from the sideline in street clothes, the attention of most NFL fans will likely be on the legacy that the 41-year-old gunslinger is about to leave behind.  But while they will be busy looking back on the past 20 seasons that Favre spent with the Falcons, Packers, and Vikings, we are not quite finished analyzing the $50,000 fine that he recently received for an incident which occurred during his only season with the New York Jets.

Most of you are probably already aware of the whole voice mail/picture message fiasco that occurred between Favre and Jenn Sterger back in 2008 (if not, you can get updated here, here and here).  After spending several weeks investigating the incident, the league decided to hand Favre a $50,000 fine and no suspension.

So how exactly does this $50k fine stack up against Favre’s yearly income?  The Vikings’ quarterback earned $16-million this season, which averages out to exactly $1-million per game.  Over the course of a 60 minute game, Favre stands to make $16,667 per minute.  That would mean it only takes him approximately 3 minutes to make $50k.  After considering the fact that he spent the entire 60 minutes of his last two games watching from the sidelines, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that the “iron fist” of the NFL acted more like a ruffled feather in this case.

And here is another interesting fact for you to consider: Brett Favre’s $50K fine is the equivalent of a person with an annual income of $50,000 being fined $1.20.  Some punishment that is!

Hat Tip – [ESPN]

Brett Favre has dominated NFL jersey sales for years, but it may not be long before the #4 “Favre” jerseys are being outsold by the all-new #4 “Pevre” jerseys.  The Jenn Sterger embroidering on the numbers may cost you some extra cash, but it is worth every penny.

Fractured bones in his ankle.  Reports of sext-messages.  A 2-4 record.  I’m willing to bet that Favre is wishing he had actually called it quits for real this time around.

This past Saturday they gave us this skit for the new Wrangler Open Fly Jeans commercial, and with Jason Sudekis playing the part of Wrangler spokesperson Brett Favre, I probably don’t need to tell you where this joke is going.

I wonder how those Wrangler open fly jeans protect against a football to the groin?

So let me get this straight.  Brett Favre announced his retirement, but his return caused Packers fans to throw eggs at their television screens.  He then fell in love with Jenn Sterger, whom he phoned while wearing a helmet over his dong in the bathtub.  When that didn’t work, he sent her pictures of a banana, which angered Sterger.  Favre also used his “optic blast” to light the ass of a Jets massage therapist on fire.  All of these actions had business men doing keg-stands, and now Favre is living with Tiger Woods.

It all seems to make sense now.  Thanks Taiwan.

Hat Tip – [Deadspin]

A few months back when everyone was busy speculating as to whether or not Brett Favre would return to the Minnesota Vikings for one more year, reports surfaced that Favre had attempted to hook up with Jenn Sterger during his time with the New York Jets.  We were told that Favre tried to contact the former Florida State bombshell, who was then working as an in-house sideline reporter for the Jets, several times through MySpace and voicemail.  And when that didn’t seem to work, he figured a few dong shots were bound to win her heart.

Well after a few months of wondering whether this was all just a dream, or if it really happened, we finally have our answer:  YES, IT REALLY HAPPENED.  You can hear the voicemails in the video below, but if you would like to see the dong pics and MySpace messages, check out Deadspin’s video here.  We should warn you that their video is NSFW (duh…even Favre’s dong isn’t somehow magically SFW).

And just one more warning for you all.  If you are going to check out the video of Favre’s dong on Deadspin, be prepared.  Because after seeing it, you will never look at the 40-year-old gunslinger in the same way.  I was never a big fan of Favre, but if I was, seeing that dong would have broken my heart.  And if I had him on any of my fantasy football teams, I would probably bench him for the next couple of weeks and even consider dropping the perverted S.O.B.

Enjoy!!!

Being a sideline reporter is a pretty thankless gig. You’re a woman in a man’s world, you’re cute, so you’ve got every guy watching making crass comments, you get blown off by players and coaches moving to and from their locker rooms, and even though you prep your ass off, everyone assumes you’re there for your looks.

And, thanks to technology, it somehow gets worse. No, I’m not talking about the horrors of HD on Hannah Storm’s face. I’m talking about getting illicit photo messages from players during off-hours. This allegedly happened to Jets’ sideline reporter Jenn Sterger (above), and the culprit was none other than that rock of ethical integrity, Brett Fav-ruh. To make a long story short, Favre supposedly sent her a picture of his dong when he was a Jet. And according to her, he wasn’t the only one.

Such unwanted advances against these sideline reporters in the high-testosterone world of sports must come fast and furious, which leads us to the question, “Who else of the sideline crew are the most likely to get hit with these dong messages?” Well, let’s take a look.

9. Jill Arrington
Jill worked for both Fox doing NFL work, then ESPN doing college football work during much of the last decade, which means she could have very well been THE FIRST EVER SIDELINE REPORTER TO RECEIVE A DONG PIC. I used all CAPS ‘cause it’s a really big deal. She also is among the hottest sideline reporters ever, which does nothing but increase her chances of getting hit with dong pic after dong pic.

In my mind, she’s retired and sitting on her porch, drinking sweet tea, cell phone continuing to buzz incessantly (In my imagination, when people retire, they immediately turn 80 and live on Southern plantations). More importantly, I hope that she appreciates that that she was just doing her job, and every time we send her a pornographic text message, we are just doing ours.

8. Cheryl Miller
Uhhhh. Never mind. She’s probably been texted a pic of something RESEMBLING a dong.

If you are a man and have sent Cheryl Miller a wiener pic, may I suggest you pick someone else on this list to pursue? She’s not your target market.


7. Holly Rowe
ESPN’s ace sideline reporter Holly Rowe probably gets it a lot worse than her peer Erin Andrews. And with good reason. Holly seems attainable. She’s got the girl-next-door quality. She looks like a cute SEC sorority girl that’s still working off the last five of the freshman fifteen.

She also looks like that girl we all knew in college that drank too much, hooked up with everyone we knew and drove a white Mustang convertible. Don’t act like you don’t know EXACTLY who I’m talking about.

Holly got pulled up to the ESPN’s college football A-team last season amid Erin’s hiatus, so if it hadn’t happened to her before, good lord, it happened to her last season. Not only cause she was there, but because she strikes me as the type to not necessarily write off the pic right away. I could see her waiting in the Admiral’s Club, getting the text, evaluating, then saving it in a folder on her Blackberry titled “Maybe”.

Holly, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry.

6. Pam Oliver
Oh Jeez. Here we go. Let’s start easy. Pam’s an attractive lady with a high-profile job that attracts a fair amount of male attention. She’s gonna be subjected to the same things every other attractive sideline reporter is going to be subjected to. But my guess is that she doesn’t smile nervously and demurely put her phone away. Nuh-uh. She gets loud and vocal and goes on the offensive. Am I saying this just cause she’s black? Yup. I’m saying that cause she’s black.

Let’s say Ryan Leaf gets a co-signer and gets himself a camera phone. He hit’s up his old pal Pam from back in the day with a nice, well-lit photo of his dong. In about 48 seconds, he can probably expect this reply:

I KNOW YOU DIDN’T JUST COME AT ME WITH THAT TINY-ASS VIENNA SAUSAGE DONG, WHITE BOY!!!! I SHOWED THAT TO MY CREW AND WE ALL THINK THAT’S THE MOST (cont 1/2)

(cont 2/2) BUSTED-ASS TINY PECKER WE’VE EVER SEEN. IF I WANTED TO SLEEP WITH THAT SHIT, I’D GET BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BOY JIMMY FROM ND. P.O…OUT!

Or something like that. These are all hypothetical.

5. Maria Sansone
She’s 29 years old and pretty much the hottest sideline reporter out there. It is crazy to think that right now, she isn’t getting hit up by Michael Irvin crotch shots so often that her phone is about to explode.

HOWEVER, her rotation with ESPN has largely been a mystery that only some sort of NSA code-breaker could figure out. She’s on like once a month, usually covering something like the Rutgers spring scrimmage. Her appearances on national sports broadcasts should be as certain as death and taxes.

There is no reason she shouldn’t be on the Thursday night ESPN game. It’s crap. Right now that’s Erin Andrews’ spot, which is just as mind-blowing. Here’s how this should work, as an aside:

* Move Holly Rowe from the Saturday primetime game to the second biggest Saturday game (preferably for SEC teams)
* Give Erin the throne that is rightfully hers and put her on the Saturday primetime game.
* Put young Maria Sansone on the Thursday night games and keep her in a little picture-in-picture box at all times.
* Execute all male sideline reporters in college football. It’s just backwards and awful.

Maria will get the exposure (so to speak) that she so desperately deserves.

4. Michelle Tafoya
You now that scene in American Pie where the one kid gets accused of fucking a grapefruit? Michelle Tafoya’s kind of like that grapefruit. She seems cold, reserved, and a little inhuman, all of which attracts a certain type of fan (read: stalker).

Flashers in the park operate the same way that Michelle Tafoya fans operate. The thrill is exposing themselves to something, rather than what may become of the exposure.

I could see Michelle Tafoya leaving the Linc after an Eagles games, getting into a Town Car, when her phone buzzes. She looks at the picture and says to herself, “That appears to be John Elway’s penis”. She would put her phone away, then remove a cat from her purse, unhinge her jaw, and consume it whole.

I’m not here to judge, but it takes a special kind of man to love that. And I know they’re out there.

3. Tony Siragusa
First of all, Tony Siragusa is straight. I’m saying that so he doesn’t sit on me. According to Wikipedia, he’s got three kids and a wife.

Let me counter that by saying that (at least) 10% of this country is gay. And half of them are men. And I’m going to take a stab and say that 15% of those gay guys are into “bears”. And Tony Siragusa is, make no mistake about it, a bear. He also gets more exposure and airtime than anyone else because he’s on Fox NFL Sunday. So let’s do some math:

300mm Americans

150mm men

15mm gay men

2.25mm gay men into bears

And I’m gonna say that not all gay men into bears know who Tony Siragusa is, so let’s take 40% of the above number.

900k bear lovin’ men out there who have watched or do watch Tony Siragusa for 20 Sundays per year.

And you don’t think he’s gotten at least one dong pic sent to him? You’re living in a dream world, man.

2. Suzy Kolber
She probably received the most unwelcome picture message from anyone, ever, shortly after her embarrassing interview with Broadway Joe Namath over the PA system (and on live TV) while he was being honored to the NY Jets’ 40th anniversary squad.

Here’s a quick summation of what went down:

Poor Suzy just wanted to know how Joe felt about being inducted into this pseudo-elite group when he responds with “I wanna kiss you.” Hmm. Fair enough. She’s cute. Everyone’s allowed to make a Freudian slip. Broadway Joe goes on about what an honor it is, then ends his reply with “I wanna kiss you!” (exclamation his, not mine).

Joe blamed alcoholism, apologized to Suzy, and stayed out of the limelight. But all that happened the next day. You better believe that later that night, Suzy was staring at the business end of a 60 year-old dingus. It was probably wearing a tiny fur coat.

1. Erin Andrews
I’ll be honest. I texted Erin Andrews six dong pics just while I was typing that introduction. Doing college sports may have shielded her for a while, but even then, she’s just too damn hot and too damn high-profile to not fantasize about. And with these fantasies come, well, pictures of the fantasizer’s dicks. I’m not saying it’s fair, but it happens.

The nice part is that she is so well prepped for her coverage of games that she could probably take one look and know exactly whose member that is. Does it have a bible verse on it? Hi, Tim Tebow! Is the dong in the hands of a ridiculously hot girlfriend? That’s Colt McCoy! Is it really, really, really small? Hey, Jimmy Clausen!

College players may not have the game or egos yet to start hitting her up with filthy pics, but once you get your ass on Oprah and Dancing with the Stars, you better believe that Jamarcus Russell has a lot of free time on his hands. Keep fighting the good fight, Erin.

Brett Favre

Rumors have begun to surface that Favre had sent Daily Line bombshell Jenn Sterger pictures of his dong.  That’s right!  During their time with the Jets (in 2008, when Favre was their quarterback and Sterger was an in-house sideline reporter), Favre apparently began calling the big-breasted product of Florida State, but the phone calls and voicemails soon turned into cell phone “dong-shots.”

Via Deadspin:

“One person, she claimed, who was very into cell phone-donging her was none other than Brett Favre…Sterger said that Favre first began to call her early in the season and leave strange, friendly messages on her voicemail…Then the phone calls from Brett started to turn weird.

“The interactions were flirty and strange but she didn’t think there wasn’t anything that made her too uncomfortable. But then, one night, Sterger received a picture on her phone which was so shocking that she just tossed it across the room. It was his dick. Brett Favre’s dick. And it happened multiple times. In fact, Sterger claims that, in one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he’s masturbating — while wearing a pair of Crocs. In another photo, Favre is holding his penis while wearing the wristwatch he wore during his first teary-eyed retirement press conference.” [Deadspin]

Jenn first broke the news to A.J. Daulerio of Deadspin, but was reluctant to share the photos, voicemails or even have her name attached to such a story.  However, thanks to a persistent effort, A.J. was finally able to get her to bend.  Now all we need is the photos.  Then I’m sure CSI New York will be able to match the wristwatches for us.

Hat Tip – [Deadspin]

Something about these young female tennis stars is so hot, except for the American ones who are a bit manly like the Williams sisters.  It’s probably their amazing bodies from being in such good shape, but there is something more than that.  Caroline Wozniacki is 19 years old and unlike Anna Kournikova, isn’t only known for her great looks.  She also happens to be the 4th ranked tennis star in the world.

While on a trip to an Indian Ocean beach, the paparazzi caught up with her and was able to snap some amazing bikini shots.  Although most of these female tennis players are a bit, well, flat, Wozniacki has some nice curves to go with her wicked forehand.

The Danish star was tracked down in these pictures and although she isn’t quite as tan or curvy as Jenn Sterger (although Sterger is not going to be quite as curvy in the following weeks), she also has earned her fame with some actual talent.  In these pictures she is spending time with some friends and her sisters relaxing at the beach.  I wonder what kind of night-life she participates in too.  Even though she has the innocent foreign girl-next-door look, I bet she knows how to party.

Now back to the story at hand.  What made (and continues to make) Sterger such a draw is her beautiful implants.  No need to beat around the bush.  That is why the news that she is getting rid of them is so shocking:

In an effort to reinvent myself, in a cut throat industry that was becoming more and more competitive the deeper I swam, I made the decision to go against the grain and remove my implants.

I’m not sure how getting rid of her implants will help her reinvent herself in a way that makes her relevant in today’s society, but it sure is going against the grain.  While personally I respect her for the decision, it seems like her motive is trying to stay relevant, and those implants were really the main thing keeping her in the public eye.  It is an unfortunate reflection of our society that this is the case, but it is a reality.  We’ll see how this reinvention helps her, but for now I think I speak for everyone when I say “they’ll be missed.”

Hat Tip – [DeadSpin] via [OfficiallyJenn]