Don’t hate them cause they’re beautiful. Hate them because they are beautiful and more successful than you are. And most of them could probably kick your butt on and off the court.

Hate them for that.

Though these ladies have looks, don’t write them off as eye candy, as they are among the most decorated and talented athletes in the world. In case you’re not willing to take my word for it, see below for the proof.

9. Maria Sharapova

At 17, she took down Serena Williams at Wimbledon. Though she’s no longer number one, she’s still killing it, with a resume that includes over 20 titles, including victories in the Australian Open, the US Open, and Wimbledon. She’s currently holding strong at number six in the world, with a serve that could bring her back to the top at any moment. Look out, numbers 1-5.

8. Jennie Finch

Sure, she’s got great looks in a sport that gets little media attention, so it’s easy to write her off as something of a novelty. She is currently retired, but led the US National softball team to a gold medal in 2004 and a silver in 2008. In 2002, she won her NCAA-record 51st consecutive game. Since softball has been pulled from the Olympics beginning in 2012, Finch has crusaded to see its return in 2016 in her retirement.

On the flip side, she has many times over been voted the nation’s most attractive athlete and, in 2004, was named one of People’s 50 Most Beautiful People.

7. Misty May-Treanor

Treanor has won more tournaments than any other beach volleyball player in history. That should be enough right there, but in case it’s not, I’ll keep going. She won gold with her partner Kerri Walsh at both the 2004 and 2008 Olympics. As early as 1994 in high school, Misty was voted as the best female volleyball player in the nation by USA today.

Sure she’s a little tall for the some, but she’s a pro athlete. It comes with the territory. Maybe you’re just too short.

6. Serena Williams

While her body type might not be for everyone, she’s got an inordinate number of admirers, including famed producer/director Brett Ratner, who dated Williams for some time. Some guys just like a girl that can kick their ass.

Williams has notched an astonishing 27 Grand Slam titles in her career, putting her among the most successful female tennis players of all time. She has a $40 million contract with Nike to show off their wares and has a fashion line of her own. Oh yeah, and once she threatened to “kill” a ref that called her for a foot-fault. Pretty awesome.

5. Paula Creamer

At 24, she’s the defending US Open champion, with 9 LPGA Tour victories. 2010 was her only year to earn less than $1 million on the tour, but don’t expect that trend to stick. She’s demonstrated that she is still on the rise, so don’t let the looks fool you. Further, her last name is “Creamer,” which makes me happier than any other name on this list does. Yup, even happier than “Wozniacki” makes me.

4. Caroline Wozniacki

This Danish tennis player is ranked number one on the WTA Tour and has kept that ranking for 36 weeks. At 20 years old, she has earned almost $10 million in winnings. She also is a backer of Liverpool in the Premiere League, so don’t go running your mouth about Arsenal or Man U if you are lucky enough to speak to her. Also, don’t bring up doubles tennis around her – she’s not that great at it, having established a losing record of 36-53 in her career.

3. Lindsey Vonn

This 26 year-old downhill skier has notched three consecutive World Cup downhill championships in 2008, 2009, and 2010. Overall, she has 41 victories in events such as the downhill, Super G, slalom, and super combined. She is regarded as the most successful racer in US skiing history, a stat that is backed up by a gold and bronze medal for her Olympic performances.

Also, she’s a hot girl that skis. What’s not to like?

2.Stephanie Rice

Rice might not be as well-known a name as some of these other athletes, but rest assured, she’s got both looks and success in spades. The Australian holds the record in the 400 M individual medley and has three gold medals. She might be the most important swimmer not named “Phelps.”

However, she’s got a bit of a mean streak as she tweeted after an Australian team beat a South African team in rugby, “Suck on that, f*gg*ts.” Yikes. That cost her more than a little goodwill and a few of her sponsors.

1. Gina Carano

Though she only competed in a handful of matches, she had established herself as one of the premiere fighters in the world of MMA. However, after some time away from the sport, her return was waylaid in April of this year after failing to receive medical clearance to fight. Both the medical issue and her return date are unknown, but Carano is keeping busy as a star of what is expected to be director Steven Soderbergh’s last film, an action movie of all things.

Sports are dangerous. There’s a reason these guys are pros. However, the risks involved may not be nearly as nasty as the risks that accompany every day l-i-v-i-n’. Facing Lawrence Taylor can be less daunting than washing your truck or training for reality television. While there’s nothing wrong with getting injured during your gladiator-like duties on the pitch, there’s something markedly less noble about suffering the fates of these 9 characters. Be glad you’re not them.

9. Chris Hanson
Chris Hanson, a punter for the Jacksonville Jaguars, decided the team was lacking a little motivation, so Jack Del Rio, the coach, took the liberty of installing a stump and axe to create some convoluted metaphor about lumberjacking or something. Anyway, it went about as well as one would think (the Jags went 5-11). But the sweetest part is when Hanson stepped up to the stump to chop in an inspirational fashion (or whatever), he managed to chop his leg instead. Punters need their legs, right?

8. Joel Zumaya
I think the player’s union should create a carve out for drug testing any player who turns up with an injury that is obviously as stoner-oriented as Zumaya’s. Zumaya went to see the docs with unexplained shoulder pain, which doctors eventually came to find was the result of too much guitar hero. If you want to play Guitar Hero, Joel, go ahead, but think twice before attempting the Pete Townshend windmill technique. You’ve got a fan base to think of.

7. Bobby Ojeda
In 1988, the lefty pitcher had the tip of his left middle finger severed by an electric hedge trimmer. It was reattached using microsurgery, but he was out for the playoffs, which should teach rich athletes to ever do anything for themselves again. That’s why servants exist. Sadly, Ojeda endured a much more serious accident later in his career when he was in a boat accident in 1993 that killed two teammates, though he survived.
 
 
6. Jeff Kent
“At the carwash…” is where Jeff Kent should have been when he was “straddling the back” of his truck and fell over, breaking his left wrist. No word on whether or not the truck was eventually properly waxed.

It turns out that this injury may have been stupid for an altogether different reason. Kent may have concocted this story after it was rumored that he was actually injured riding his motorcycle, which is prohibited by many pro sports contracts. Which would make more sense than an athlete actually washing their own car.

5. Misty May Treanor
You can’t accuse her of not leaving it all out on the floor. Sadly, this was a dance floor, and Misty May’s Achilles tendon exploded when she may have gotten a little too aggressive with a dip when practicing for “Dancing with the Stars.” Sadly, it would seem she’s still acclimating herself to hard surfaces after a sand volleyball career.
 
 
 
4. Joe Sakic
In an injury that set back the hockey anti-stereotype movement decades, Joe Sakic somehow broke three fingers while operating a snowblower. Isn’t the reason people get rich so that they can avoid having to do things like wash their cars, garden, and blow snow? Sakic had surgery and was out three months. Next time, just get that adorable little boy down the street to do it for $5.
 
 
3. Marty Cordova
You can’t blame a guy for wanting to look good. You can blame a professional athlete for failing to set a timer in his tanning bed, falling asleep, then having to be on the day-to-day disabled list. That’s something I’m completely comfortable blaming a guy for. The IR? How much does one use their face in baseball?
 
 
 
2. Plaxico Burress
Shooting yourself in the leg in a crowded nightclub should be a crime. Fortunately, it is. However, Plaxico later confessed that perhaps the reason he shot himself in the leg with his own pistol in a crowded NYC nightclub is that he was wearing loose fitting workout pants. To a nightclub. Which is an altogether different type of crime. Fortunately, shooting oneself in the leg seems like an appropriate punishment. If it wasn’t though, going to jail two years probably is. Moron.

1. Glenallen Hill
Glenallen Hill should legally change his name to “Awesomest-Off-the-Field-Injury Story Hill.” I say that for reasons that will be obvious in a moment. Hill has what appears to be a severe case of arachnophobia, that led to a dangerous but hilarious chain of events. Hill had a vivid nightmare about spiders that led him to, while asleep, spring out of bed, crash into a glass table that shattered, then plunge down a staircase. Most remarkable of all, he was only out 15 days with cuts. Damn spiders.

12. Anna Kournikova

You know how we roll at TPS. Let’s bookend this list with the Russian tennis players. Anyone who has a problem with that better make a VERY compelling argument in the comments. IF we really need a reason besides “she’s really really hot,” let’s just say that her grunting isn’t a huge turnoff and leave it at that.

11. Michelle Kwan

I’m going to go out on a limb and posit that the blur spin has practical applications beyond those on the ice. She’s used to being carried and tossed. Check and check.

10. Ashley Harlkeroad

She looks good in little-to-no clothing, she isn’t afraid to get naked, and her last name practically begs “porn pseudonym.” She makes the cut. Congratulations, Ashley! Welcome to the world of porn!

9. Misty May Treanor

We’re going to completely ignore the fact that some of these women are married, because that just sucks all the fun out of this exercise. Misty’s got the body, the tan, and though she’s a volleyball player, she’s only clocking in at 5’9″, so you don’t have to worry about her movies going straight to the “Amazon Woman” section of your adult bookstore.

CLICK HERE For The #1 Female Athlete We’d Love to See in a Porno

Now with his own television show, “Shaq Vs.” he has been getting the opportunity to put his money (or in this case, his pink Speedo) where his mouth is.  Although he has yet to take on the likes of Lance Armstrong or B.Manley, it seems as though he may have already met his match.

In the second episode of the show, Shaq took on Olympic beach volleyball gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh in a 2-on-2 game at their own sport.  As for his partner, Shaq would have an Olympic gold medalist of his own, Todd Rogers, but after losing the first two sets, he changed things up and went with Walsh’s husband, Casey Jennings, in an effort to get into his opposition’s head.  Needless to say, that did not change his luck.  His team would go on to lose three straight sets.

And for the loser, there is always the humiliating punishment.  In this case, I would say the humiliation was on Shaq, but the punishment was on all of us who had to watch him make his way down the sandy beach with a rather large but skimpy pink Speedo.  And to top things off, his name was printed on the back.  Guess they kinda saw that one coming.

I wouldn’t be surprised if fellow executive producer Steve Nash came up with that one.  Revenge sure is sweet.

Hat Tip Video – [FanHouse]