Football Cops!

The trailer, which you can check out below, says “Coming This Fall.”  Whether they are talking about the hundreds of games that you can watch on NFL Sunday Ticket, or the series “Football Cops” will depend entirely upon whether the league and the players can reach an agreement before the 2011 season kicks off.  Ordinarily, the thought of losing football for a season would make me want to cry, but suddenly it doesn’t seem so bad if it means getting a full season of “Football Cops” instead.

Hat Tip – [CBSSports]

Desperate for a win, Manning stepped up to the plate and delivered an impressive 319 yard, two touchdown performance that would help guide the Colts to a crucial 30-28 victory.  Peyton did most of his work in the second quarter, connecting on two touchdown passes to Pierre Garcon within the 15 minute frame, which gave Indy a 21-7 lead going into the half.  The Colts would fail to score another touchdown over the course of the next 30 minutes, but they wouldn’t need it as three Adam Vinatieri field-goals would be enough to secure the win.

Manning needed to break out of a funk that has seen him throw 11 interceptions in his last three games, and he did just that, throwing zero interceptions while earning the win and the “Stat Line of the Night” for Thursday, December 9, 2010.

In honor of the announcement that SNL is moving every SNL episode to Netflix this week, we at TPS decided to run through the collection of athletes good enough to host the late-night sketch show. While there have been more misses than hits with athletes, the low expectations set by putting jocks on stage can often result in some of the more ridiculously funny premises and skits. In short, cause these guys are ballplayers and not actors, they are capable of drawing laughs where even Will Ferrell can’t. Here are a few of the best in the show’s history.

We apologize to those of you viewing from outside the United States. Hulu and NBC feel that only Americans should get to watch SNL clips online.

9. Wayne Gretzky

While not known to be much of an actor (in his biography he relates a story in which he wasn’t able to deliver the line “Bo knows hockey” for a Nike commercial), he was able to make it work for his hosting duties of SNL in 1989. His acting chops were never called into question during such skits like “Waikiki Hockey” and one of the first “Wayne’s World” skits, before it had really caught on. Also, kudos to the producers for finding a way to work in his hot wife for at least two skits. When in doubt, cut to the hot girl.

8. Michael Jordan

While Michael didn’t look as smooth in front of the camera as he did on the court, the writers at SNL realized that when you get 23 on to host your show, you make it work. And they did. While you never escaped the sense that it was an athlete trying to host SNL, skits such as “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley” were certainly good for a laugh as we see a gentle self-help coach try to convince Michael Jordan that he’s good at what he does. Also, Michael Jordan playing the first black Harlem Globetrotter captured Jordan doing what he does best – schooling white guys on the basketball court.

7. Nancy Kerrigan

Kerrigan was notorious for being a flavor of the week and one of the worst hosts in SNL history. So why does she make the list? Because it was such a beautiful trainwreck to behold. After the monologue went fairly smoothly, the rest of the show was a master’s course in “why you don’t get a host that is only famous for getting hit with a crowbar.” The competently written skits fell flat because young Nancy couldn’t take her eyes off the teleprompter, and not in a charming Christopher Walken-type way. Also, the spectacle of laughing at such a clear pity case made any attempt at humor an exercise in awkwardness on par with “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” The nervous energy alone could power a city for days.

6. LeBron James

King James reigned supreme for one Saturday night in 2007, running through the standard mainstream skits. But his real time to shine didn’t come until the last skit of the evening, in which he played high school LeBron, going to meet his guidance counselor to talk about his desire to attend college. SNL player Chris Parnell and James go back and forth beautifully as the counselor tries to convince young James that he needs to go to the NBA and forget about college. Sadly, that clip isn’t available online due to NBC’s draconian internet policies, but the above clip gives you a taste of what LeBron was working with that night.

5. Lance Armstrong

After becoming a celebrity in the truest sense over the past decade, the leap to hosting SNL was a no-brainer for both parties involved. The above skit demonstrates SNL’s bread and butter when it comes to athletic hosts – taking the world’s most finely tuned athletic machines and making them look like total jackasses. Everyone knows Lance is a champ, so why not turn him into a buffoon who runs like an orangutan cross-bred with a spastic toddler? Based on the comedy of the skit above, there’s no reason NOT to do that.

4. Tom Brady

Divisive pretty boy Tom Brady withstood scrutiny when he hosted SNL in 2004. Though he wasn’t a natural under the camera, his off-putting manner was charming enough to make it work, especially with stray lines like “I’m gonna get my ass another funnel cake.” Brady’s appearance, like many others’ on this list is a testament that taking the athletes out of their comfort zone may not always be a home run, but at the very least can surprise the viewer by demonstrating how funny these guys and girls can be, even when they’re not trying.

3. Charles Barkley

Barkley has never been one to clam up in front of the camera, and that talent is apparent in his hosting of SNL earlier this year. As with most athletic hosts, their best work is usually done in taped segments, though this clip has a bit of both. Nonetheless, the premise of an entire skit based solely on insulting Chuck’s golfing abilities is pretty much comic gold. Though Barkley sells primarily through one-word reactions, is there anyone that can put you in a good mood just by being there any more than the Chuckster can? Joe Montana could never have sold it.

2. The Rock

Unsurprisingly, The Rock knocked his hosting gig out of the park. His mugging skills from the WWE, coupled with his self-deprecating humor made for a winning combo that made even several of his line flubs laugh-worthy. It’s amazing how well a simple raised eyebrow can go towards selling a joke that wasn’t that funny in the first place. Unfortunately, The Rock’s appearances were largely before the Hulu era, so get to Netflix to check out his comedic genius. Run, don’t walk.

1. Peyton Manning

After winning his first Super Bowl, Manning made a Timberlake-esque leap from “good ole’ boy” to a true comedic force. Of course, Manning did have a head start afforded to him by appearing in every commercial ever made during the late 00’s, but his timing and rhythm seemingly came out of left field. While most athletes appear on SNL for publicity’s sake, Manning’s appearance proved that he was on par with any actor when it came to running the show. The fake United Way ad, though taped, is probably the best demonstration of this during the lights-out funny episode.

Manning won the MVP of the NFL this season, but clearly his job is not done.  He would be the first to tell you that regular season success is important, but it doesn’t compare to performing on the biggest stage in football, the NFL Playoffs.  Manning went 26/39 for 337 yards and 3 touchdowns.  He also didn’t throw any picks and had a quarterback rating of 123.6.  Manning had help from two young receivers, as his main target Reggie Wayne was locked down by Darrelle Revis.  Pierre Garcon and Austin Collie both had over 120 yards and 1 touchdown receiving.

Now the Colts look forward to the Super Bowl in two weeks, where they will bring their high-flying offense to face another great quarterback and powerful offense, Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints.  The Saints defense is notorious for causing turnovers, and Peyton Manning will have his hands full.  If he puts on another performance like yesterday, they have a great shot to win the Super Bowl.  For now, he has earned “The Stat Line of the Night”.

Peyton Manning

That’s not the case when Jeff Saturday comes out of his role as the team’s center and acts like he’s the offensive coordinator or team’s bread winner like Manning, though.

Here’s an older video of Manning snapping on Saturday [no pun intended] because Saturday thought the team should have run the ball near the end zone instead of passing.  The Colts failed on the three passing attempts and had to kick a field goal.

In the video, Manning admits he was outmatched because of Saturday’s size and because he was in offensive line territory — Manning is lucky he didn’t get swallowed alive.  But here’s a memo to Jeff Saturday — when your QB is the major reason your team is any good, never question the offensive coordinator’s decision to use said QB’s golden arm to score a touchdown.  As Manning said, “you just be the center, Jeff.”

[H/T The Big Lead]

Manning completed 23 of 30 passes (77%) for 308 yards with 4 touchdowns and one interception. But the pick was not Manning’s fault as Dallas Clark bobbled a pass that was then caught by Daryl Smith. His passer rating for the game was 134.4.

Manning broguht the Colts from behind all night long. The Jaguars started the scoring with a field goal in the 1st quarter. Manning answered with an 80-yard drive capped with a 6-yard TD pass to Dallas Clark. In the 2nd quarter, Maurice Jones-Drew’s 9-yard TD reception gave the Jags the lead. Manning struck right back with a 6-play, 68-yard drive, scoring with an Austin Collie TD pass.

After the half, the Jags took the lead again. But there was Manning, hitting Dallas Clark again for a 27-yard score. The Jags then ended the 3rd quarter scoring with a David Garrard to Mike Thomas score.

So going into the 4th Manning and the Colts were down yet again. It just made for a better story. Manning hit Reggie Wayne for a 65-yard TD pass and the Colts took the lead for good. The Colts remain unbeaten at 14-0, and Peyton Manning has The Stat Line of the Night for 12/17/09.

Manning may have lost Marvin Harrison at the end of last season, and Anthony Gonzalez at the beginning of this one, but that has not slowed him down at all.  In fact, it seems to have only made him that much more dangerous.  Last night everyone was on Peyton’s radar as he threw four touchdowns to four different receivers in a 31-10 Colts win.  Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, Pierre Garcon, and Joseph Addai were all on the receiving end of Manning passes for scores as the veteran play caller for the Colts threw for 379 yards in a performance that would earn him “The Stat Line Of The Night” for Sunday, September 27th, 2009.

It is the second week in a row we have rewarded Manning with this honor and it was well worth it.  The Colts now find themselves at 3-0 on the year.  It is only three weeks into the 2009 season, but this start bodes well for their playoff aspirations with the rest of the AFC South struggling.  Houston and Jacksonville both sit at 1-2 and the Tennessee Titans are a surprising 0-3.  If Peyton can continue to spread the ball out and take advantage of opposing offenses, it wont be long before the Colts clinch their ticket to the post season for the eight consecutive year.

Manning’s touches were limited as the Dolphins wildcat formation helped keep the Colts defense on the field and their dangerous offense waiting on the sidelines, but Peyton wouldn’t need much time on this night.  With the help of some big plays to Dallas Clark and Pierre Garcon, Manning would throw for a total of 303 yards and two touchdowns on route to the win.  It was a solid performance worthy of “The Stat Line Of The Night” for Monday, September 21st, 2009.

The Colts dodged a bullet and now find themselves at the top of the NFC South after week two.  In a division that also holds a Titans team that is physical on both sides of the ball and a Texans team with a potent offense, each win will be crucial in this year’s playoff run.  The Colts came away with this one late and it may be one of the games they look back on at the end of the season as an important part of their playoff birth.

It is important to evaluate your options on draft day and identify whether you need to use an early pick on a reliable quarterback, or are you willing to take a chance and grab a potential sleeper in the later rounds.

Here is a look at how we rank the league’s top 30 fantasy football quarterbacks:

1.  Drew Brees, NO

2.  Tom Brady, NE

3.  Aaron Rodgers, GB

4.  Philip Rivers, SD

5.  Kurt Warner, ARI

6.  Peyton Manning, IND

7.  Donovan McNabb, PHI

8.  Jay Cutler, CHI

9.  Matt Ryan, ATL

10.  Tony Romo, DAL

11.  Matt Schaub, HOU

12.  Carson Palmer, CIN

13.  Matt Cassel, KC

14.  Matt Hasselbeck, SEA

15.  Trent Edwards, BUF

16.  Brett Favre, MIN

17.  Eli Manning, NYG

18.  Ben Roethlisberger, PIT

19.  Joe Flacco, BAL

20.  Chad Pennington, MIA

21.  David Garrard, JAC

22.  Jake Delhomme, CAR

23.  Kyle Orton, DEN

24.  Jason Campbell, WSH

25.  Brady Quinn, CLE

26.  Mark Sanchez, NYJ

27.  Byron Leftwich, TB

28.  Matthew Stafford, DET

29.  Marc Bulger, STL

30.  Kerry Collins, TEN

Join us again tomorrow when we take a look at the wide receiver position.

Primarily, it’s the cyclical battle between offensive and defensive coordinator; your left tackle is your strongest, so they put their best defensive end on the right to apply effective pressure. More pressure needs better tackles, better tackles mean more pressure is required – you can see the circle that has been created. So how does this process start? Well, working under the assumption that you’re running a conventional offense with a right handed QB, you’re going to have a huge vulnerability. Peyton Manning took just 14 sacks all year but it wasn’t because of an incredible line or outstanding athletic ability, it’s just the product of the league’s smartest player’s incredible internal clock and ability to get rid of the ball whilst making his check downs. However, no matter how clever Manning is he doesn’t have eyes in the back of his head, obviously making his blindside the logical point of attack from your defensive end or rush linebacker – hits to the back have a higher probability of forcing a fumble and provide the rusher with access to the quarterback’s throwing arm.

Whilst superior pass protection is mandatory, head coaches also have to consider the run. The right tackle and tight end make the offside the common direction of most run plays – most but not all. As the most dominant back of the last 5 years LaDainian Tomlinson has shown, much success can come from the counter play in which he feigns to the right before kicking the play back to the left. This requires your left tackle to possess an athletic build and light footwork to change direction and seal the edge for the runner, two of the key defining attributes when evaluating right and left tackle prospects. Compare a prototypical left tackle in Baylor’s Jason Smith, to the man who will be a career right tackle at the next level Phil Loadholt. Loadholt lacks Smith’s athleticism, his combine 40 was .4 seconds slower, meaning he would struggle with speed rush at the next level, but his 30lb weight advantage is perfect for opening running lanes.

The Lions, Bears and Eagles head the list of teams needing a dominant left tackle, whilst St Louis and Minnesota require sizeable right tackles to aid their run first offenses. Focus on footwork and athleticism when determining left from right and remember: in 2008 Jay Cutler was sacked 16 times less than 2007, the only addition to the Bronco line? Ryan Clady at left tackle.