In his first year in L.A., Jackson produced immediate results, as the Lakers would finish the year 67-15, good enough for first in the NBA.  They would make it to the NBA finals where they beat the Indiana Pacers for the franchise’s 12th championship.  Los Angeles won the next two years to make it a three-peat, Jackson’s third three-peat as a head coach.

After winning yet another NBA Championship last season, Jackson now has an incredible 11 rings as a coach and two as a player.

Here is a clip of Jackson comparing Jordan and Kobe

Notable Birthdays

Kerry Wood, MLB – Born June 16th 1977 (age 34) in Irving, Texas

Kevin Bieksa, NHL – Born June 16th 1981 (age 30) in Grimsby, Ontario

Rick Nash, NHL – Born June 16th 1984 (age 27) in Brampton, Ontario

We live in the era of www.fire_____.com (fill in the blank with your local sub .500 coach). Since that’s the way it is, and considering the amount of effort it would take to change it, who am I to buck the trend? Besides, didn’t Al Gore say that his primary motivation for inventing the internet was so that he could institute a change in the Tennessee Volunteer coaching ranks? It is with that in mind that today we present to you 9 coaches who should call it quits.

9. Lane Kiffin
Most thirty-five year old coaches are just trying to get their first crack at an assistant coaching role. Lane Kiffin is getting ready to tackle his third head coaching gig in as many years. He’s already a journeyman head coach and he has only been legally able to rent a car for ten years. So why do we think he should hang it up already? Well, considering his post-Raider behavior has made Al Davis start to look sane, it’s more a question of where do we start? He bailed on Tennessee after naming his son Knox (sorry kid) and claiming he was there for the long haul. Then he bolted for SC even though he wasn’t on their top three list of candidates because it was his “dream job.” Well, dreams can turn to nightmares awful fast when the NCAA decides to make an example out of you, which is exactly what they are doing at USC. Lane, take our advice and call it quits. Besides, that hot wife of yours can only be neglected for so long before the ballboys start to look real attractive to her.

8. Lou Piniella
Yeah, we know this is his last season, but maybe he shouldn’t wait that long. Lou is one bad call away from a life-ending heart attack. As a fan, I don’t really have a problem with this. As a human, I kinda do. I already had to watch umpire John McSherry die on opening day in 1996, and I don’t necessarily need to see it happen again. That said, Piniella’s outbursts are amazing. Managing the cursed Cubs only makes things worse. When you have Carlos Zambrano taking orders from Sweet Lou you know things are going to get hot, and losing streaks can’t be far behind. If Lou was coaching the Yankees he wouldn’t be on this list, but when baseball’s definition of futility is the team he manages, we can’t in good conscious not recommend he hang ‘em up ASAP.

7. Jim Schwartz
When you are the head coach of the Detroit Lions you have no choice but to do some serious soul searching to find out how you ended up there. Was there no high school coaching job available? The local JUCO didn’t need an offensive line coach? Was this the only option on the table? Maybe Jim Schwartz is a great coach, but unfortunately we’ll never know because he coaches the Detroit Lions. The good news is they already went 0-16. The bad news is that the league is likely to be expanding to 18 games.

6. Tom Cable
The Cable Guy is in way over his head and everyone knows it. The head coach of the Raiders is nothing more than a hand puppet to Al Davis anyway, so what would Cable have to lose by stepping down? Other than a feeling of being a helpless patsy, not much. In fact, he may even discover something he hasn’t felt in a long, long time. A sense of purpose in this world. But Tom Cable isn’t one to give up that easy. After all, he is the one that started Jamarcus Russell all those games in a row. So don’t expect him to leave the Raiders without being stabbed in the back by Al Davis, and I don’t mean that symbolically. He will likely have to literally be stabbed in the back by Al Davis to leave the Raiders.

5. Jerry Jones
The time has finally come for Jerry Jones to quit coaching the Cowboys. George Steinbrenner stopped managing the Yankees and they rattled off an epic run of World Series titles. Why would anyone think that America’s team couldn’t do the same without Jerry Jones getting in the way? At least, that has to be what Wade Phillips is wondering after lucking into the playoffs last year and looking down the barrel of another stress filled year under the overly-watchful eye of Jerry Jones. To his credit, he did build that giant TV screen that keeps fans in the stadium from bothering to watch the game. However, it has yet to distract enough attention away from the fact that he is a terrible owner when it comes to meddling with his coach’s affairs.

4. Charlie Weis
What are you expected to do if you are an elite collegiate athlete and this fat ass tells you to work harder? You are expected to bite your tongue because he used to be the offensive coordinator for Bill Belichick, but there’s only so many orders you can take from such a fat f*ck. Unless Weiss can lose about 100 pounds, he needs to call it quits and focus on not weighing over 300 pounds. That, and he sucks as a coach. While at Notre Dame, all he did was lose to USC every year and make NBC’s once lucrative TV contract look like a bad idea. Will he do any better with KC? Could anyone? Get with the program Charlie! And put that burrito down!!!

3. Richard Williams
Who? Richard Williams, father of Venus and Serena, that’s who! So why is he on this list? Because he’s already hit on his meal ticket and it’s time to sit down and have some meals. Both of his daughters grew up to be champion tennis players and make obscene amounts of money. He should be on a Caribbean island right now, not on a hot court working on backhands with his daughters. At this point, what does the coaching really do for anyone other than send some cash his way and possibly make his daughters worse tennis players? I don’t know the answer, but I have to figure it is “not much.” So instead of making them worse and allowing Croatia, Sweeden or whatever other country is producing the top female tennis prospects, maybe it’s time you finally hire a professional coach so your daughters can go back to kicking the sh*t out of every overmatched b*tch they see on the court. Got that Richard?

2. Phil Jackson
C’mon Phil, you’ve got the record. Red Auerbach rolled over in his grave and you credited a Zen mentality for all of your success. You have more than enough money and you are banging Jerry Buss’ daughter. What more do you need? Do you really want another season of Kobe busting your chops, Odom rolling late to practice with his camera crew and awful Kardashian wife and Ron Artest screaming about how “he got Wheaties!” every day of the week? In short, you don’t. If you win, it was what you were supposed to do. If you lose, you were a fool for coming back. Like it or not, that’s the way it is, so take a page out of John Elway’s book and ride off into that sunset with a championship banner tucked under your belt and a huge Zen doobie tucked tightly inside of the banner. You know, just in case you need some herbal assistance in finding that ever elusive inner peace.

1. Joe Paterno
Ah, good ol’ Joe Pa. Twenty-five years ago he was relevant, but twenty-five years ago he was 58 years old. Ever since then he has led a long, slow decline of a once prominent NCAA football powerhouse in a once dominant conference. His legacy somewhat mirrors that of the rust belt state that he made his name in. The unwillingness to be progressive and cling to the old way of doing things has crippled the American Midwest. This very same mentality has crippled the Nittany Lions football program for years. Sure, Joe Pa is an institution, but all worthy institutions eventually know when it is time to step down and pass on their legacy. Paterno may have been blessed with many skills, but unfortunately for the students and alumni of Penn State, knowing when his time is up isn’t in his DNA. Unfortunately, staying alive long enough to destroy Penn State’s program forever may be.

After all, such a name seems more than fitting for a man who does not even crack a smile as one of the funniest men on the planet rings off joke after joke from only a few feet away.

Kobe may have been able to ignore Chris, but Phil Jackson couldn’t, eventually making his way over and telling him to “get your feet off my stage.”

Is that supposed to be a joke?  If so, perhaps Phil’s comedy routine can use some help from Chris Rock.

Sorry Phil, but last night, that floor was Kobe’s stage.

At least that is what it looked like prior to Friday night’s exhibition game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Denver Nuggets.  After all, have you ever seen someone scratch their face with a fist?  Nice try Phil, but we caught you!

With the Lakers head coach sitting in his usual court side seat, and Kobe Bryant performing his pre-tipoff fist-bump routine Phil Jackson wanted to get in on the fun, but Kobe was having none of it.  Instead, the Lakers superstar guard left his coach hanging, forcing him to do some quick improve work.  Unfortunately for Phil, the TNT cameras were on him at the time.

We should mention that there is no tension between Kobe and his coach.  Instead, Jackson was simply not within visible range of Bryant.

Props to Phil on the nifty cover-up.  Wisconsin quarterback Scott Tolzien has much to learn from the Zen Master.

Hat Tip – [FanHouse]

With enormous amounts of money being put on the Lakers to win this season’s NBA championship, the sports gambling company began a promotion where anyone who put money on a team other than the Lakers to win the championship would receive $50 back if the boys in purple and gold were the last squad standing.  With Los Angeles up 2-1 in their best-of-seven series against the Orlando Magic, it seems to be only a matter of time before Kobe and his teammates are raising the trophy.So what does that mean for Bodog?  The company’s manager, Richard Gardner can tell you the amount they are expected to lose, right down to the last penny: $394,411.50.  That’s likely enough to make anyone pray for a miracle, or perhaps a little “Magic” from the boys of Orlando:

“(Lakers coach) Phil Jackson is 43-0 in the playoffs when his team starts the series with a 1-0 lead, which is an unenviable position to be if you play for the Orlando Magic or if you’re the Bodog Sportsbook.  We had over 8,000 players take us up on our pre-playoff promotion.”

It appears no one is getting it right in this year’s NBA playoffs.  First Nike was wrong in assuming a Kobe vs. LeBron finals (luckily Jimmy Kimmel found a solution).  Now Bodog is paying for it’s mistake.

Sportsbooks are usually the one’s profiting from betting, rather than the one’s doing the gambling themselves.  In this case, Bodog rolled the dice on the league rather than the Lakers, and the league lost.  Unless the Magic can pull off the incredible shocker, it will be the bookie’s turn to pay up this week.

Hat Tip – [SportsBiz]

Odom was great in games 5 and 6 against the Denver Nuggets, recording a double-double in one, and 20 points, 8 rebounds in another.  With the NBA finals set to begin on Thursday, reporters had the opportunity during the layoff to ask Lamar about his candy habit.  His response was as surprising as it was humorous.  Contrary to what doctors have said about sweets, Odom claims that candy has been his breakfast prior to the final two games of the Western Conference finals, his best two games of the series.  So what’s Odom’s take on the doctor’s analysis?  “I guess he’s wrong, even though he is a doctor,” the big man told reporters huddled around him following a practice.

It doesn’t seem like Lamar is going to be giving up the sweet snacks for breakfast anytime soon, but what does coach Phil Jackson think of all this?  When asked whether he would encourage the habit, Phil quickly responded “no.”  He would go on to talk about the horrors he experiences as a parent on Halloween, and the other effects candy can have on individuals.  But Phil, if sugar can make your kids get out of control, just think of how uncontrollable Lamar can be for the Magic defense after a couple bags of Skittles.

So what kind of candy does Odom eat for gameday breakfasts?  In addition to Skittles, he also enjoys Starburst Jelly Beans, and Now and Laters.  I understand Phil Jackson is against this idea of pre-game candy, but don’t be surprised to see him with a bag or two in his pocket, just in case his star forward is having an off night.

Here is the interview with Lamar Odom.

And here is Phil Jackson’s response.

That was how he put it in his post-game press conference when asked whether he was embarrassed with his team after the game.  Phil’s reply to the question was the following:

“Are we embarrassed?  No we’re not embarrassed.  No.  Houston played a great game.  Give them some f*cking credit.  I mean, for real.  This kid Brooks played great tonight.  He was terrific off the floor.  They played well.”

Maybe we were already due for another live television F-Bomb following Don Cherry’s little slip the following weekend.

The Lakers were able to regain home-court advantage in their two games at Houston, but now the momentum (if you believe in that crap) has shifted in the Rockets favour.  Even without their giant (Yao Ming) in the lineup, Houston showed that they are not ready to roll over yet.  Now that that plan is out the window, all Phil Jackson can hope for is that next game he will be giving his own team the “f*cking credit”.

Our friend Alana at the Yard Barker let us know that,

“I ran into Bynum on Friday on the golf course. In all fairness, he made a point NOT to golf (contrary to what Sports Center reported). He spent most of the time sitting at the clubhouse and I had to convince him to get up from his table and visit a few of the tees to hang out. He was trying not to draw too much media attention to what was just a harmless day of fun.”

Young, famous and loaded a lethal triple combination!!!!!!  We will just have to wait and see what his Lakers teammates and coach Phil Jackson will have to say about this one?

UPDATE:  Andrew Bynum Does The Hula-Hoop Rehab At The Playboy Mansion

Total Pro Sports – I guess Andrew Bynum’s knee is 100% ready for game action. Bynum was spotted carrying a Playboy model on his shoulders during a pajamas and lingerie party at the Playboy Mansion on Sunday.

Coach Phil Jackson said recently that Bynum could be at least a few weeks away from returning. Now, I’m no doctor, of course, but at the Playboy Mansion on Saturday, the Lakers’ 7-foot center looked to be well on the road to recovery.

While his Lakers were losing to the Hawks 86-76, Andrew Bynum partied like a Rock star.  At the he was wearing a pimped out green smoking jacket and slippers. Isnt it nice being ‘injured’ and not having to travel with the team because he had to attend the pajamas and lingerie party?

He picked up Playmate Nicole Narain and placed her on his shoulders and got somebody to take a picture with his digital camera.

Upper-body strength, check.

He hopped over a velvet rope near the DJ booth so he could take a picture with Narain and other Playmates who ended up sitting on his lap.

• Jumping ability, check.

He sidestepped a few of the roaming cameras and got down with some Playmates on the checkered dance floor set up in the backyard.

• Lateral movement, check.

Later, with lines around the bar getting longer, he pulled out a bottled beverage from one pocket and four plastic cups from another and offered up drinks to three Playmates who were with him.

• Ability to adjust to game situations, check.

In professional athletes contracts it should be written that if they are injured and rehabbing an injury, they should be at home resting and not partying like Andrew Bynum at the Playboy Mansion. Yes, a party like this should never be turned down, but if your getting paid millions of dollars to play a sport then you shouldn’t be out partying if your injured and can’t travel with your team.