8. Dirk Nowitzki — Bus Driver

Job Requirements: Built like a bus, able to carry large numbers of people one’s his back and strength with multiple languages.

7. Ray Allen — Plumber

Job Requirements: An understanding of complex diagrams and a natural ability to send more rain down the drain than anyone, ever.

6. Mike Brown — Male Nurse

Job Requirements: Strong problem solving and an ability to tactfully deal with high-maintenance, troubled patients.

5. Carmelo Anthony — Farmer

Job Requirements: A green thumb and experience with nuggets.

4. Metta World Peace aka. Ron Artest — Circus Clown

Job Requirements: Prone to eccentric, wild behavior and a compulsive need to be the center of attention.

3. Chris “Bird Man” Andersen — Janitor

Job Requirements: Strong ability to mop up messy situations on the floor and around sloppy buckets.

2. Steve Nash — Drive-thru Attendant

Job Requirements: Accuracy and speedy order distribution while assisting customers and dishing out lunch.

1. Kobe Bryant — Tiger Woods’ Caddy

Job Requirements: Clutch finisher with Intimate knowledge of every hole and what shots to make in sticky situations.

About the Author: Greg Buckskin is a very surprised Buffalo Bills fan and writer for CableTV.com

Ray Allen scored 50% of his team’s points in the first half with 27 points as the halftime score was 54-48 Boston.  He was 7/8 from behind the 3-point arc, tying his own record for most threes in a game.  All he needed was 1 more in the second half to eclipse that record.  He was 11-20 from the field on the night overall and scored a game-leading 32 points.

The Celtics now must return to Boston to defend their home court.  Due to a quirky change in scheduling, the Finals is going with a 2-3-2 format, giving Boston 3 straight games at home before having to return to L.A.  If they can get performances like last night’s from Ray Allen, and a few Rondo triple-doubles sprinkled in, they may have a chance to pull off the miracle win.  For now, Allen earns “The Stat Line of the Night” with his impressive record-setting night.

Rondo dominated every aspect of the game.  He scored 29 points on 9-21 shooting and even got to the line 16 times, converting on 11 of them.  His 13 assists helped set up his teammates for easy buckets, sure, but his rebounding was the most impressive.  On a team with some good rebounding big men, the point guard was able to snag 18 rebounds and help lead his team to a 47-33 rebounding advantage.  He also had a couple of steals as well.  This was Rondo’s 4th playoff triple-double after collecting 3 in the Celtics-Bulls first round series last year.

The win was a huge one for the Celtics, who are fighting for their lives to advance past Cleveland to the Eastern Conference Finals.  The series is now tied at 2 games apiece as it moves back to Cleveland for Game 5.  Rondo has played very well, but the Celtics will need their other stars to step up as well if they have any hope of defeating LeBron.  As for last night, Rondo earns the “Stat Line of the Night”.

During Boston’s game against the Bulls on Tuesday night, Allen couldn’t take his eyes off the gorgeous Marisa Miller as she performed a quick bit with Benny the Bull.  While Miller took pictures of the hairy red beast, it appeared as though Allen was taking some mental pictures of his own.

The Bulls needed the victory in order to hold onto the final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference, and I think it’s fair to say that Marisa provided enough of a distraction to help them get it.    Maybe next time Allen should try popping in a video of one of Miller’s commercials and save his creepy stares for his own television set.

Allen posted this pic on his Twitter account with the title “If only I could golf like Tiger”.  At least he has the look down, although he may want to work on his Tiger Woods temper tantrum.

After likely receiving several questions and comments regarding his strange new look, Allen kindly informed us all that it was his son’s safari themed birthday party, and everyone painted their face.  Ray didn’t want to miss out on all the fun, so he had a little makeover done as well.

I must admit, I like the new look Ray.  I think it makes for a good response to Pau Gasol’s wolverine face.  Of course, no makeup was needed for Gasol.

Ray Allen Tiger Face

Hat Tip – [RedsArmy]

With the series between the Celtics and the Orlando Magic, Boston can now thank their rather large forward for his high pressure game winnig shot.  With guys like Paul Pierce and Ray Allen on your team, who would have though that it would be Big Baby taking the game in his hands, but that is exactly what he did.  As for his celebration afterwards?  Why not push a kid on the sidelines next to the Magic bench while you run towards your teammates.  You can he doesn’t get to do this all too often.  About the big basket, Davis said the following:

“Since I have been with the Celtics, I have been trying to find my niche in our system.  (Coach) Doc (Rivers) told me that if you work on that shot and show me you can make it, I am going to let you shoot it. This year has been proof of hard work. You just have to be focused. You have to make sure you understand the moment, the clock situation, and basically think without thinking. You just have to shoot it.”  [TSN.ca]

Now the series is tied 2-2.  With 21 points to go along with his buzzer beater, Big Baby is the hero for now, but don’t expect him to be the go-to guy down the stretch from now on.  I’d assume the Celtics leave that role for Allen and Pierce.  In the mean time, why not relive the moment that is Big Baby nailing some poor little kid.

All 14 of these players definitely deserved it and have had good seasons up to this point. Unfortunately there is only room for 12 people on the All-Star roster, so there were a good amount of players who were snubbed this time around. Usually there is a few, but I feel that for the first time in a while there are so many players who could really have been on this reserve roster.

In the West, some players who could have deserved it also are Kevin Durant, Paul Millsap, Steve Nash, Carmelo Anthony, and Al Jefferson. The 2 people I feel out of these 6 that really should have gotten it over others are Kevin Durant and Paul Millsap. Durant is averaging 24.8 points per game, which is good enough for sixth in the NBA. Paul Millsap has numbers that are definitely All-Star worthy, but the fact that David West has Chris Paul as a point guard is what gets him on the team. With a player like that on your team, you become better and better day by day, and David West has taken full advantage of Paul.

I think the reason Durant didn’t get the spot was because of team record. The seven reserves all play on teams with winning records, and Oklahoma City is far from that at 11-35. The West was pretty spot on with their All-Stars, and the picks that were borderline didn’t bother me.

The East is a pretty good squad, and there aren’t that many snubs. The only possible others who had an outside shot were David Lee, Ray Allen, and Mo Williams. These 3 players have made great contributions to their respective teams so far this year, and all of them will play a big role on their NBA Finals run (in Allen and Williams’ case) or a playoff run (in Lee’s case). While all 7 East reserves definitely deserved it, I think this was the time for David Lee. He is averaging 16 points and 11 rebounds on an improving Knick team, and along with Chris Duhon, is a huge leader. Lee is having a great year, but since it is early in his career, it isn’t a total snub, as he has a bright future and will eventually earn a spot.

I wish the best of luck to all the reserves and the starters in the game, and for the end of this article I’m going to make my All-Star pick: East 141, West 135.

Is this a good move or a bad move for the Celtics?  In recent years it seems that every team that Starbury goes to he becomes a cancer in the locker room and the teams slowly fall apart.  With leaders in Garnett, Pierce and Allen it may be just the right fit for Marbury.

At 28-5 and 1st in the NBA we don’t think the Celtics need anyone else to win another championship.  But if Stephon Marbury can just worry about the game and lose the star over his head.  It’s scary what the Boston Celtics may be capable in doing.

Is 52-0 for the rest of the season possible?  Maybe but highly unlikely.

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New York Post – “He still has to finagle a break from the Knicks, but indications are banished point guard Stephon Marbury will wind up with the Celtics, according to a report on ESPN.com.

“It will happen,” a source reportedly said when asked if Marbury would wind up in Beantown this season.

Marbury hasn’t played for the Knicks all season. After playing well in the preseason, new coach Mike D’Antoni benched him on opening night and the relationship snowballed quickly.

He was placed on the inactive list, and in late November he was barred from contact with the team. He attempted to negotiate a buyout from his $20.8 million contract, but he has since refused to take anything more than the full value of his deal.

If Marbury lands in Boston, he would be reunited with Kevin Garnett.”

Source:  The New York Post

I understand that he’s a disruption to the team and that not a lot of people like him, but come on already, either trade the guy, buy him out,  or just play him.  Sources say that the Celtics are interested in acquiring Marbury’s services.  Many believe that this will be a good fit for Stephon because Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allenwill keep him in place.  While other experts believe that it’s a waste of time for Marbury to play on any team, let alone the reigning champs, the Boston Celtics.

Another team that might want his services are the Minnesota Timberwolves, considering he played there before, they need a point guard, and, oh yeah, they stink!  Another team could be The Oklahoma City Thunder because they need a point guard and need to attract some fans, which there’s no doubt Starbury will bring the fans to the seats even if its not with his play.

Starbury, all in all, is a good guy.  in 2007, he donated 300 pairs of shoes to all public school boys varsity basketball teams in New York City. He also decided not to sell his shoe or name to companies like Nike or Reebok.  He went his own way and created his own shoe reasonably priced at $14.99 so anyone can buy them.  You can find these shoes at Steve & Barry’s or on his website, Starbury.com.

Way to go Stephon, we still love you!

The biggest comeback in NBA playoff history happened tonight at the Staples Center in L.A., and I’m glad to say that the Celtics were on the winning end of it.  It seemed that the Lakers didn’t bother showing up for the third quarter and Boston took full advantage and eventually won the game even though they were down by 24 at one point.

After watching the game, one play that stood out in my mind happened during the last minute as Ray Allen was isolated against Sasha “The Machine” Vujacic.  It looked like “The Machine” forgot to go for an oil change before the game because he stalled badly when Allen drove past him and made a key field goal. 

I wish I could feel sorry for the Lakers as they are fighting for their playoff lives against the Celtics, but I don’t.  Kobe is getting what he deserves as he is being exposed a player who can’t get it done without another superstar at his side.  I always thought of Kobe as Robin and Shaq as Batman, now it seems all he has to help him is Batgirl (Gasol) and Catwoman (Odom), and that simply won’t get it done.  I think the Lakers might take the next game at home and the series should end in six games when the Celtics return to their home court. 

The Celtics showed a lot of grit and determination in the game tonight.  The most important quality that was evident in the game was their ability to work as team and fight through adversity, something the Lakers and specifically Kobe cannot do.     

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