Marathon season has kicked into high gear. If it hasn’t already happened in your town, pretty soon a bunch of people with little to no experience at distance running will put on their recently-purchased water bottle utility belts and Nike Dri-FIT shirts, then take to the streets to prove to themselves that they can do anything they set their minds to.

Where did all these novice runners get the idea to enter a marathon? If I had to put money on it, I’d say it was celebrities. Isn’t that pretty much get all our advice on how to live? (I’ve been voting for whoever Bruce Springsteen tells me to for years, now.)

In honor of this health craze, here’s a list of celebrities you probably won’t believe actually ran (and completed) legitimate marathons. They’re arranged in order of impressiveness. If they don’t make you feel like you can do it, no one can.

9. Al Roker

Al Roker had gastic bypass surgery in 2002 that helped him go from morbidly obese to only slightly overweight, so he’s definitely not the same old jolly hotdog-eating fat guy we used to love. Still, Roker running a marathon? Sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud. But he did. In 2010, Al Roker ran and finished the New York City Marathon…in 7:09:00. Ouch.

I don’t want to make fun of that time, but a guy named Fauja Singh just finished the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in only 8:25:16, and he’s 100 years old.

8. Robin Quivers

Robin Quivers, Howard Stern’s longtime sidekick, is another celeb who’s gone from hefty to healthy in recent years. She also ran in the 2010 NYC Marathon. And amazingly, despite being two years older than Roker (59 vs. 57), Quivers beat his time by a whopping 1 hour. Of course, 6:09:00 is still pretty bad (says the guy who would probably collapse in mile four).

7. David Lee Roth

I would venture to guess that no one partied harder in the early 1980s than the former frontman of Val Halen. So, needless to say, I was flabbergasted to discover that this cigarette-smoking, Jack Daniels-drinking blow-hard also ran in the 2010 NYC Marathon. He beat Robin Quivers by 5 minutes, too, clocking in at 6:04:43.

Normally, that’s not a good time. But you try running in assless chaps.

6. Sean Astin

Sean Astin—a.k.a. the Fat Hobbit, a.k.a. Rudy—ran in the Los Angeles Marathon in 2010. And he didn’t do too bad, putting up a time of 5:16:12. (As a rule of thumb, you always want to do better than a guy who used to wear assless chaps.) I wonder if the theme song from Rudy was playing on his iPod the whole time?

5. Al Gore

Former Vice President Al Gore completed the Marine Corps marathon in 4:58:25. And no, this wasn’t part of a sad attempt to get back into shape after breaking he broke up with Tipper in 210. Gore ran the marathon in 1997, when he was still VP.

Does that mean a bunch of Secret Service dudes had to run the marathon, too? I hope they got paid overtime for that.

4. Oprah

More than any other celeb on this list, Oprah is probably the one most responsible for inspiring people with no athletic ability to run 26.2 miles in one day. You may recall that, during one of her skinny phases back in 1994, Oprah and her team of personal trainers ran the Marin Corps marathon. OW finished the race in a very respectable 4:29:20, and in the process taught women everywhere that they, too, could accomplish the impossible if they spend millions of dollars on personal trainers and chefs.

3. P. Diddy

Dirty P. Daddy Money, or whatever he calls himself these days, finished the 2003 NYC Marathon in a decent 4:14:54. I think back then he was going by P. Didster Von Puffington III, but don’t quote me on that.

Diddy didn’t run the race to prove anything to himself. Instead, he ran to raise money for charity. Of course, he could have just given the charity $2 million of his own money, but I guess it’s easier to run 26 miles and almost kill yourself.

2. Will Ferrell

Will Ferrell completed the Boston Marathon in 2003. Do you know how you register for the Boston Marathon? You don’t just sign up and pay a fee. You have to do really well in other marathons to qualify. In other words, Will Ferrell didn’t just shuffle along for 6 hours. The guy finished the 2003 Boston Marathon in 3:56:12. I guess doing all those takes for the “streaking” scene in Old School really paid off.

1. Eddie Izzard

When I read that comedian and actor Eddie Izzard ran a marathon, I didn’t think it was all that surprising. He doesn’t seem like the most athletic fellow, but he’s no Al Roker.

But here’s the thing. Eddie Izzard didn’t just run one, two, eight, or even twenty marathons. No, Eddie Izzard ran 43 marathons in 51 days.

Just sit there for a second and let that sink in.

Eddie accomplished this insane feat in 2009 as part of a charitable effort in the UK called Sport Relief. When it comes to proving one’s commitment to a cause, I think that puts him 2nd in the history of the world behind Mother Theresa. What’s more, Izzard’s best time, 5:00:30, was achieved in his 43rd and final marathon.

Now, be honest: on a scale of 1 to 10, how shitty do you feel about yourself now?

I’m not quite sure what is worse.  Their sign, or the fact that they are sucking back a couple of cold beers in front of all those passing marathoners, half of whom are likely struggling to fight through a serious case of dehydration?

Based on that, I think I’ll go with the beers.

Oftentimes I find myself sitting at home contemplating whether I want to go running or not.  Sure, I know that the feeling I get after finishing a good, long run is great, but who wants to deal with the aching legs and shortness of breath throughout the duration of it?  If only there was something in the middle of it that made my jogs a truly enjoyable experience…

…If only I were this guy!

Hat Tip – [OddBallDaily]

Sometimes, the “next best thing to being there” can be pretty damn boring. Many sports hinge on atmosphere or a sense of intimacy that the camera just can’t capture. And sometimes, boring sports are just made more boring by not being there. The good news is, if you’re watching a boring sport on TV, you can always go out and do something else. The bad news is you’re too lazy, so that doesn’t apply to you. So if you come across one of these gems, don’t feel bad about closing your eyes and dozing off for a 3 PM Saturday nap. We won’t judge you.

9. Golf
I’ll grant that watching golf on television is better than watching it in person, but that’s not to say it’s still not a total snooze. You lose the ball in the sky, you can’t see the course, and they’re constantly jumping from golfer to golfer to give no real sense of continuity. The announcers are reminiscent of your boring uncle, and you’re not even getting fresh air or a walk. There’s a reason this sport on TV knocks people out faster than Ambien.
 
 
8. Swimming
I’ll be the first to admit, 2008 went a long way towards developing appreciation and interest in swimming. I’ll also be the first to admit that I could make painting my bedroom a national fascination if I it was an Olympic sport. You can’t see the swimmers, so you can’t cheer or appreciate your favorite. Instead, you end up rooting for a rubber hat and goggles. When the moving yellow lines that represent the world record and Olympic record make the sport about 70% more interesting, you’ve got a boring sport.

7. Auto Racing
So much of enjoying an auto race has to do with the environment, so to do away with that aspect in a television broadcast is to essentially neuter the sport. Television makes the cars seem as though they’re going about 15 miles an hour, which torpedoes the thrill aspect. Further, not experiencing the deafening sound or even the smells of the cars is a big factor in making this sport a total dud on TV.
 
 
6. Horse Racing
Unless you’re a degenerate gambler that can’t make it to the track, don’t bother watching the ponies on TV. You’ll get sucked in to 45 minutes of crap in anticipation of two minutes of action. I suppose you can throw a Kentucky Derby party and enjoy yourself, but the race on television won’t be the star. Even a trip to your local divey track is better than the finest the sport has to offer on television. On TV, you only get to watch one race, and you probably aren’t gambling. Pass.
 
5. Poker
Yeah, we’re gonna call poker a sport. It’s on all the sports channels and it’s people competing for money. Close enough, okay? It may be a sport, but it’s one hell of a boring sport. Besides the fact that watching people match wits with playing cards is not, how you say, fun. The drama is sanitized out. These poker players show absolutely no emotion, so it’s damn near impossible to care if these guys win and lose.
 
 
4. Baseball
I like watching baseball on TV. But when I say “watching,” I mean “having on in the background while I live my life.” It’s pleasant, and I enjoy the sounds of the crowd, the skill of most of the announcers (no sport has better announcers than baseball, by and large), and the periodic moments of action. However, it never captures my attention. I have tried to focus on a baseball game for three hours and succeeded during the playoffs, but in July when the Royals are playing the Angels, you already know that none of this is going to matter, so leave on the TV, but you better find something else to do.

3. Bowling
While people could argue that bowling is just a boring sport and would probably be right, the TV makes it more boring. It’s not like bowlers have magnetic charisma, and you must experience the sport in person to enjoy it, but bowling seems very one-dimensional when being broadcast. Pool for instance, gets surprisingly watchable when aired on TV. Not so with bowling. Factor in the announcers with all the charm of your high school driving instructor, and you’ve got a dud.
 
2. Medium/Long Distance Running
Step, repeat. Step, repeat. Repeat until bored. If I have to tell you why watching a person run (especially on a round track) for anything more than four minutes is boring, then you should go to the doctor, because you might be a moron. The last moments may be a competitive struggle, but the wait is arduous. If I wanted to watch people run all day, I’d…I’d…well, I can’t imagine an instance in which I would want to watch people run in a straight line all day.
 
1. Curling
Sure, the novelty of the brooms, the pucks that look like Snorks, and the crazy Norwegian trousers kept our attention to the point where the sport became something of a cultural phenomenon, but make no mistake: the sport is enjoyed by 90% of its audience on an ironic level. If this sport didn’t play on a scale as grand as the Olympics, people couldn’t change the channel quick enough. Every four years is just the right amount of frequency.

For 44-years, Tommie Smith’s 200-meter record time withstood the test of timed track.  His 19.5 hand-timed record has survived some mighty big names over the years, but it couldn’t hold off American sprint star, Tyson Gay.

Gay lowered Smith’s record time by 0.09 seconds on the straight track created at the Manchester Great City Games.  I know what you’re thinking, the 200 meters is a straight sprint and his name is Gay.  Get it?  Isn’t that funny?  Well, don’t worry, the Associated Press already beat you to playing off of that in their headline.

Tyson Gay has a long, upward track to run before he can catch and usurp Usain Bolt as the world’s fastest man.  This is mainly due to the fact Gay has trouble staying healthy, including a hamstring injury that prevented him from earning a single medal in the Beijing Olympics.  However, if he keeps shattering world records like this, it might not be as long as we think before they can be legitimately placed in the same sentence.  Below is a video of him breaking Tommie Smith’s record.  For the record, Smith was in attendance and gave a hearty congratulations to Gay after the race.

It can be difficult at times to get your ass up off the couch and outside for some physical activity, but if this girl can do it, then so can you!

She may not have legs, but that hasn’t stopped this determined female athlete from getting to the beach for a run along the shoreline.  Oh, and did we mention that she looks incredibly hot in her sexy black bikini?  I wonder if she needs some company?

Come to think of it, I bet those high-tech artificial legs would be perfect for liquid mountaineering.

These guys may not be the son of God or even Chris Angel, but they seem to be pretty damn good at high-stepping their way across this lake.  This looks like something Usain Bolt would be perfect for.  Perhaps they should consider teaming up with the world’s fastest man, and this dirt biker (who can ride across water) for a worldwide tour.

And maybe once they are done mastering this sport, they can try parting the sea.  After all, it appears as though the sky is the limit for these guys.

That was the case for this female sprinter as her nose dive into the finish line caused her to drop from a first place finish into third.  We aren’t sure whether it was fatigue that caused her to trip up, or the annoying screams of encouragement that was coming from the stands.  Either way, it was undoubtedly the perfect face plant as her nose was just inches in front of the line, but couldn’t get her across it.

After seeing it, we can’t help but think that this cyclist would be the perfect man for her.  They have much in common, besides the fact that the similarly unfortunate cyclist was able to use his momentum to get across the finish line and take the victory.  Perhaps he will have some tips to share for her in the future.

Heartbreaking to think that she was only a tuck-and-roll away from the gold.

Although he did not win by the same margin as female 800-meter world champion Caster Semenya, he was able to cruise to victory over the final 20 meters, even taking a moment to look up at the stadium clock.  It was an amazing display put on by the world’s fastest man.

With each race he runs, Bolt continues to cement his legacy as perhaps the greatest sprinter to ever grace a race track.  He not only defeats his opponents, but he does so with ease in both the 100 and 200 meter distances.  The Olympics are three years away, but if Bolt and American Swimmer Michael Phelps can keep their form, we may be in for another set of outstanding record-breaking performances in London for the 2012 games.

Here is a clip of Bolt’s amazing 200-meter run.

Hat Tip – [Guardian]

Total Pro Sports – Ever wish you could experience the comfort of walking around bare foot, but without the hassle of stepping on rocks and other objects that will cause you to wince in pain.  Such dreams have now become a reality with the Vibram FiveFingers KSO (the “KSO” stands for “Keep Stuff Out”).

Just picture Keith Eloi leaping in these rather than his flip-flops and socks!

This new innovation is designed like a glove, but made to be worn on your feet.  With five individual pockets for each toe, it allows for better feedback from the ground, and a more efficient running stride, while also improving comfort in comparison with your typical running shoe.

With research showing that “minimal or no running footwear will result in fewer injuries, this rather odd looking creation is the perfect answer.  It has been described as tougher, more invulnerable versions of your feet” by wired.com, and the traction is also

impressive.  Not to mention the extraordinary increase in comfort they provide:

The VFFs are also surprisingly comfortable. Each toe is snuggled inside its own little pocket, which is not only cozy, it also gives your feet a surprising amount of feedback about the ground you’re standing on. Your toes, freed from their typical leather prisons, act like a tiny topography sensor array. [Wired.com]

Although the VFFs have yet to become hits within your local Foot Locker or Champs, don’t be surprised if they make an appearance within the next couple of years.  Should they receive welcomed reviews from the sprinting world, it may not be too long before the like of Usain Bolt straps on a pair of the Vibram FiveFingers.

May I suggest using Leryn Franco as the face of their advertisement campaign.  Putting these shows on her were likely establish them among the hottest Olympic uniforms at the 2012 games.