The sports that we decry as violent today really aren’t so bad in the context of historical competitions. Sure, a fat drunk Phillies fan threw up on a little girl, but, on the bright side, at least he didn’t ritualistically sacrifice her to the baseball gods. Football might be facing a concussion crisis, but until the sport faces a “people being pulled into a pit of fire to be burned alive” crisis, there really isn’t much comparison between then and now. So let’s examine some ancient sports that will make hockey fights look like shiatsu massage.

9. Mesoamerican Ballgame

The specifics of the ominously-titled “Mesoamerican Ballgame” aren’t well-known, and frankly, don’t matter that much. Two Central or South American teams would try to keep a ball in play in a long alley flanked by walls. Later, hoops would be added to the walls to serve as goals. The ball was moved with the Mayan players’ hips (!), but later their forearms or feet.

The game often served to resolve disputes in lieu of war, so the matches were taken VERY seriously. So seriously, in fact, that human sacrifices were made to the gods before games. Just like in pre-season baseball.

8. Viking Tug-of-War: Skin-pulling

Vikings have never been known for their subtle ways. So learning that they used animal skins to play tug-of-war over a fire pit shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. The losing team got burned alive. The winning team got all the losing team’s stuff, including the exclusive rape rights of all the conquered female villagers. Again, just like pre-season baseball.

I don’t know how much I would pay to watch this on ESPN Classic, but rest assured it’s probably in the low five figures. Maybe they will reboot the league. I will watch it in a heartbeat as long as it’s not on Spike.

7. Venatio

This game should have just been called “slaves vs. elephants.” Cause in Venatio, a whole group of Roman slaves would have to hunt a bunch of elephants, many of whom weren’t too eager to be killed. The survival rate here was low, but perhaps not as low as it was for the elephants. Once this game caught on, the North African elephant was hunted to extinction. I think PETA would probably take issue with this game today. And slavery isn’t as popular as it once was.

6. Gladiator Matches

Perhaps the best documented of the ancient bloodsports, Roman gladiator matches served to entertain crowds by pitting two men against each other in a match to the death. Since few sane men would volunteer for these matches where participants had the life expectancy of fruit flies, they would often use captured slaves, promising them freedom should they achieve success in the ring.

5. Pankration

This Greek game’s purpose was to bring your opponent as close to death as possible, without actually killing him. Because it was a bloodsport, the matches involved elements of wrestling, elbows, hand-to-hand combat, and kicking. Because it was Greek, of course both competitors were very naked dudes.

While the goal was clearly to beat to hell out of your opponent to either submission or unconsciousness, going to far and killing your opponent was an automatic forfeiture. Why? Because any fighter killed in the course of Pankration was seen as the ultimate fighter (but not an “Ultimate Fighter”) and thus the winner of the match. So there’s a small upside to getting beaten to death. Nice.

4. Fisherman’s Joust

Two teams were in shoddy boats, cruising down the Nile. Their goal? To beat the hell out of the other boat and its occupants with oars. The losers were the guys that died. Simple and brutal, this sport was a lock to make the list. Of course, should you not get killed by the opposing teams oar-beating, there was always the chance that you could get eaten by an alligator once you fell into the water.

The game was played in front of the Pharaoh, presumably for little more than his entertainment. Nothing has ever made me want to be a Pharaoh so badly in my life. Do I need to go to grad school or something to do that?

3. Naumachia

Oh, this sport is no big deal. They would just take an arena, flood it with water, then toss some boats in there to conduct a small-scale naval battle (complete with sinking ships and drownings) for everyone to watch. I really don’t understand how a sport could be much cooler than this. Again, because it was Roman, there were plenty of slaves available. Which was good, because it was hard to compel free men to play this game.

I’ve been wondering how much collateral damage occurred during these games, as the crowd surrounded all this fanfare. Was there at the very least a “splash zone” in the first five rows like at Sea World?

2. Chariot Races

These aren’t the chariot races that old retirees bet on in the OTB. If you’ve seen Ben-Hur or Gladiator, you know how violent playing the ponies can actually be. Players would get tossed, horses maimed, and even bystanders impaled as these guys hauled ass around the track in their little buggies. Of course, there weren’t exactly regulating bodies here, so contact was not only permitted, but was de rigueur. Better wear a helmet. Better yet, just don’t play.

1. Nguni Stick Fighting

The Zulus’ sport might not have been the most deadly, but it sure does sound annoying and painful. The tribe would essentially just whack each other with soft sapling branches hundreds of times. It sounds like a game I would have played with my dumb friends in high school. They had shields, which diminishes the event a little bit, But the contestants would wear their myriad scars like badges of honor. You know, the honor of getting whacked by branches. This was considered a child’s game, by the way.

Sources: Warthog.co.za, Wikipedia.org, Britannica.com, Atlantamartialarts.com, Cracked.com, Ballgame.org, Associatedcontent.com, Ablemedia.com

With the fight seemingly up for grabs after four hard fought rounds, Pettis lived up to his nickname “Showtime” by leaping off the side of the cage and delivering a mid-air roundhouse kick to the head of Henderson, knocking him to the canvas in a daze.  The kick wasn’t enough to end the fight, as Henderson was able to hang on long enought to finish the round, but it was enough to influence the judges, winning 48-47 on two judges’ scorecards and 49-46 on the other.

With the victory, Pettis has earned a spot in the UFC-WEC lightweight title unification bout against the winner of the fight between Frank Edgar and Gray Maynard, which is set to take place at UFC 125 on New Year’s Day.  And if most people thought the UFC champion would simply roll over the WEC champion in that bout, this highlight reel kick may help change a few minds.

Okay, so perhaps this burp wasn’t what caused dos Anjos to tap (a jaw injury at 1:51 of the third round did), but it was enough to help Guida clear his system and continue on his way towards another victory in the octagon.  You have to love the respect that the man they call “The Carpenter” shows his fellow corner men, warning them about an oncoming burp before pushing their heads aside so he can release the thunderous belch.  That was one burp you don’t want to get in the way of.

Two struggling clubs faced off in Tullio Arena when the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds visited the Erie Otters Saturday night and it didn’t take them long to let out some frustration on each other.

Things got heated early after a hit in the Greyhounds’ end sparked a fight between Dylan King and Michael Liambas (we’ll give this one to Liambas).  That was just the beginning.

Less than a minute later, a check from behind in the neutral zone by Sault Ste. Marie’s Daniel Catenacci resulted in a giant skirmish with several fists being thrown.  As the refs moved in to break things up, goaltenders Robin Lehner and Ramis Sadikov (of the Greyhounds and Otters, respectively) met at center ice bringing the already raucous crowd into an absolute frenzy.

They exchanged punches for the following 30 seconds or so before things were broken up.  It is tough to make a decision on this one, so I think we will call it a draw.

With the Greyhounds up 3-0 in the third, Liambas would drop the gloves once again in an attempt to spark his club.  He exchanged haymakers with a much larger Brian Shaw, but it was his final right hand that would put an end to this bout.  The Otters would get one back, but it was not enough as Sault Ste. Marie added two more to take this unfriendly affair by a score of 5-1.

Although the fans in Erie did not get to see their club earn two points in the standings, they did witness them accumulate several on the fighting scorecards.

Total Pro Sports – It was not quite as fast as Ryohei Masuda‘s  two second KO of Takahiro Kuroishi, or even Steve Ramirez’s three second overhand right finisher, but Todd Duffee‘s knockout of Tim Hague at UFC 102 was pretty damn close.

The time frame was similar to Matt Baker‘s six second KO at King of the Cage, but the only difference was Duffee’s opponent was ready for the punch (rather than looking to touch fists).  That however did not stop him from connecting with a solid left jab to the chin of Hague, which knocked him to the ground.  One more vicious left and it was over.

Following the fight, Duffee told cameras “that’s all hard work,” but that “hard work” must have come in the training prior to the fight because it didn’t seem like much effort was needed at all for this victory.  As he would go on to say, “that was an appetizer.”  Now we will wait to see who Dana White throws in front of him for the main course.

Here is the knockout.  In a rush?  No worries.  You will only need seven seconds.

The much anticipated fight that many thought would provide Silva with his toughest test yet turned out to be the complete opposite.  “The Spider” used the first minute to feel Forrest out, then took over the fight, landing a couple of significant shots.  Seemingly playing with Griffin, Silva connected with his shots while dodging anything that came his way.  It would eventually become too much for Forrest and after getting clipped in the face with a jab which knocked him to the ground, he would wave his arms signaling the end of his night.

Joe Rogan would go on to say “I love Forrest Griffin, but this is one of the most embarrassing knockouts I think we’ve ever seen.”  Forrest may have felt the same way as he exited the ring immidiately after and ran for teh dressing room.  It may not be a Yahir Reyes spinning backfist, a Marcus Aurelio Capoeira kick, or even a Dan Henderson overhand right, but I guess even Silva’s jabs have incredible knockout power.

This fight helped further illustrate why Silva should be considered the best pound for pound fighter in MMA.  So who is next?  It may be hard for find fights for Anderson should he continue to run right through his opponents like this.  I can help but imagine the prospects of a Silva vs. Geroges St.Pierre battle.  It may be far fetched, but if Rocky Balboa can come back and fight, than I guess anything is possible.

Anderson Silva’s Celebration After Knockout

B.J. Penn vs. Ken Florian - Lightweight Championship Bout

Florian got his shot at the belt before and failed, but he will not want to let that opportunity slip away again.  Ken is a different fighter this time around and he will want to prove that against Penn, who is widely considered the best lightweight fighter around.

Result: Florian by 4th round TKO

Anderson Silva vs. Forest Griffin

In this co-main event, Silva will test his strength in a higher weight class as he looks for some more competition.  Griffin will give him a tough battle and it may take more than one of those devastating strikes to keep him down.  He will also have to watch out for Forest’s submissions

Result: Silva by 2nd round KO

Johnny Hendricks vs. Amir Sadollah

Since winning The Ultimate Fighter Season 7, Sadollah has been plagued with ionjuries.  He will finally be given the opportunity to step into the octagon for the first time under contract with the UFC.  He will be ready to go, but the rust may be too much for him against Hendricks.

Result: Hendricks by 2nd round TKO

Kendall Grove Vs. Ricardo Almeida

Result: Grove by split decision.

Josh Neer vs. Kurt Pellegrino

Result: Pellegrino by unanimous decision.

Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir- Heavyweight Championship Unification Bout

This is a fight that many have been waiting for since it was announced as the Co-Main event of UFC 100. Ever since Lesnar was defeated by Mir with a knee-bar, he has wanted another crack at him. Now he has it, and with each fight, it seems as though the former WWE wrestler is getting that much better. This time around, it could be redemption for Brock

Result: Lesnar winner by 3rd Round TKO.

Georges St-Pierre vs. Thiago Alves -Welterweight Championship Bout

Another fight that many have been anxious for.  St. Pierre has been labeled by some as the best pound-for-pound fighter in MMA right now and this is yet another chance for him to prove himself.  Only problem is he will be in extra-tough against a hard hitting Alves who has great knockout power, and we saw what Serra did to St-Pierre before.  The man from Montreal is that much better now and that should show tomorrow in the octagon.

Result: St-Pierre winner by 4th Round TKO.

Dan Henderson vs Michael Bisping – Middleweight Bout

Tensions seemed to be building while these two were coaches for the Ultimate Fighter Season 9 and they will finally get to settle the score tomorrow.  Henderson is coming into this fight after beating Rich Franklin to earn him the honors of representing the USA on the show.  His opponent has only lost one bout in his MMA career, a split decision to Rashad Evans.

Result: Bisping by split decision.

Paulo Thiago Vs. Jon Fitch – Welterweight

Result: Fitch by 1st Round TKO.

Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Alan Belcher – Middleweight

Result: Akiyama decision.

Mac Danzig vs. Jim Miller

Result: miller by 2nd round submission.

T.J. Grant vs. Don Hyun Kim

Result: Grant by decision

Stephan Bonnar vs. Mark Coleman

Result: Bonnar by KO

A reader sent us this video, recorded by phone as they watched the fight break out.  It took place over the weekend, at a minor league lacrosse game involving 15-year-olds between Uxbridge vs Clarington.  Several fights seem to be going on at once, and as some come to an end, others begin.  Finally, order is restored, but not before hundreds of punches have been thrown.

As for the parents in the stands, they seemed to be under control, only yelling at the players and refs to end the madness.  That’s good news.  The last thing that needed to be added to this mess was a flying Bruce Lee kick over a couple of rows of seats, a la Yankee fans.

This incident brought back memories of the all out brawl that ensued about three months back between the Tri-City Americans and the Spokane Chiefs.  Similar madness, but with increased numbers.  Luckily no one took a page out of the Elias Grossmann playbook and attacked a ref.

We encourage you all to continue sending you videos.  In the meantime, check out the footage of the brawl.

Akiyama is a decorated Judoka with strong striking, a freakish judo game, and the ability to finish via submission. His lone loss coming at the hands of a pro heavyweight kickboxer, Jerome Le Banner.

“The Ultimate Fighting Championship today announced that it has signed top-ten middleweight contender Yoshihiro Akiyama to an exclusive promotional contract that will see him step into the UFC Octagon for the first time this summer.”

“I’m excited to bring Akiyama into the UFC and I can see him making an immediate impact in the middleweight division,” said UFC President Dana White. “Besides his great judo and submission game, he’s a finisher, and UFC fans are going to love watching him because he always shows up to fight.”

It seems as though the UFC is moving forward with the plans of globalizing their product. MMA is big business in Japan, and by signing Japan’s most famous fighter, this will be much more plausible. Lots of exciting fights for Akiyama in the middlewieght division including Rich Franklin, Yushin Okami, Nate Marquardt, and hopefully Anderson Silva some day.

Many of Akiyama’s fights have included him wearing a full Gi, this is not permitted in the UFC and should be interesting how he deals with it. As a huge Akiyama fan, this is great news.

UFC Inks Akiyama – [UFC]