So Close, Yet So Far: 25 of the Luckiest Male Cheerleaders Ever

Are male cheerleaders lucky? Most people would probably say “no”. They have an inferiority complex to the guys on the field, they are (presumably) relegated to “friend” status by the minxy little coeds that they might as well be neutered. Yes, they get to handle supple young coeds, but the action is so commonplace that they might as well get a sexual thrill from gutting fish. However, on the outside looking in, these gender-neutral bastards are living the dream. So let’s ignore common sense and envy the 25 best. Cool? Cool.

Stare a little more, pal. On an unrelated note, it’s nice to see the chick from “Curb Your Enthusiasm” has pursued other avenues since getting divorced from Larry on the show.

Infatuation, thy name is (whatever this dude’s name is). This dude is practically staring a hole in the back of this girl’s head. It may be a still from Bring it On, or one of those sequels, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy.

The first of many of whatever this pose is called. A chair? A stand? A butt-hand? Something. Anyway, she gets points for rocking hair from 1988 despite the fact that the photo is dated 2006.

Classic. The guy’s expression + the girl’s expression = true love. If this couple wasn’t married within six months of this photo, it’s ‘cause one wanted kids and the other one didn’t. Cause the chemistry is clearly there.

It feels good to know that Tara Reid found a new profession that brings her so much happiness. Also, this outfit is somehow less slutty than the shit she used to wear.

We here at TPS are very egalitarian. Is there anyone luckier than a gay cheerleader with other gay cheerleader’s hands all over him? The answer is no. There is not. Let’s keep moving. And I’m not being presumptuous in assuming these guys are gay cause they’re holding a giant sign that says “Gay”, sports fans.

On the surface, this guy is really lucky, having a cute little vixen on his shoulders, rooting on the Nitany Lions. On a more profound level, this guy might as well be carrying a backpack full of bricks. He has no chance and he knows it. You can see it in his dead eyes.

Ditto for this one. She’s rooting for the Tarheels while he figures out where the best place is to kill a hobo with minimal witnesses. It’s not all glamour in the world of cheerleading.

(No caption necessary, but included nonetheless) “You’re mama so fat, she sit on a rainbow and make Skittles”.

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