Maybe Next Year: The 9 Worst Sports Cities in America (To Visit)

la smog
Without the sour, you can’t appreciate the sweet. Or some-such horseshit. Actually, I think we can all agree that our sports appetites would be just fine if these cities would know their role and just shut their mouths for a mad minute, as they’re not hanging banners and frankly, with a couple of exceptions, aren’t that much fun to visit sports notwithstanding. So, get excited about this rundown of places you don’t wanna visit as a sports fan! Yeah!

9. Atlanta
atlantaDespite having somewhat solid teams in almost every sport (sorry, Thrashers), Hotlanta can’t seem to get their act together and get fans behind any team for more than a couple years. Phillips arena has been electrifying in recent years, but mostly for U2 and Dave Matthews concerts as opposed to Hawks and Thrashers games. Factor in that the city is one of the more spread out in the US, and you have a recipe for disaster when it comes to visiting sports fans. We’ll get to the taxi issue more soon, but when fans are paying $100 round trip to go from where the sports are to where the nightlife is, there’s a fundamental problem.

8. Miami
LoewsMiami-Beach-Hotel-exteriorThis will be entry #1 in the “good weather, bad sports” category, but sit tight, as there will be a few more. The bitch of it is that Miami’s weather, especially in the summer, isn’t that great to begin with. The land of palm trees and sunshine turns into the land of palm trees and record-setting humidity, all the while having their NBA Championship crowds doing white-outs in the AAA that make the other teams feel like they’re playing in heaven. Not exactly the most threatening environment. Hockey and baseball haven’t been bad to Miami, but making the trek down there to see those teams is hardly like a trip to Cooperstown or Montreal. The Dolphins haven’t been relevant since Marino was wearing Isotoners, and that’s unlikely to change too terribly much in the near future, so get north on I-95 and pull of around, I don’t know, D.C. or Boston to find a real sports town.

7. San Diego
Hornblower-San-Diego-150x150Entry #2 in the “good weather, bad sports” listing. The point of differentiation here is that S.D. actually has some decent teams in the Padres and the Chargers. Despite that fact, the Chargers can’t sell out a home game to save their life, as most people would rather be at the beach or doing one of the other 1,000,000 outdoors activities in San Diego rather than sit in a stadium on a September afternoon. Consequently, their games aren’t broadcasting, further constricting their fan base. Overall, it’s one of the best cities to visit in the U.S., with great weather and tons to do in the way of nightlife, just don’t find you way their looking for a killer sports scene. If that’s the case, wait till you hit the ocean and take a hard right. For about 8 hours. Stop when you see the big red bridge.

6. Phoenix
phoenixDo you like nice weather and progressive nightlife? Then don’t go to Phoenix.

Despite being a four pro sport team city, it’s not really hanging banners all that frequently, and the fans act accordingly. A decent city on its own merits, the fans act like Phoenix is a western extension of Orlando and seem to be there for the pretty colors more than anything else. Pushing 90 seasons with only ring to show for it is hardly setting records. At least they have that young stud Leinart. Oh, what’s that? Shit.

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