9 Lamest Bowl Game Sponsors
December and January are the months when all bowl eligible teams finally get to pay some bills. None of the gaudy bowl game revenues would be possible without our dear friends the sponsors, so they are pushed to the forefront of the games, athletic integrity be damned. So let’s enjoy the fact that for two weeks, the NCAA turns into the biggest corporate whore in America as we count down the 8 funniest sponsorships.
9. Little Caesars Pizza Bowl
It’s bad enough when your bowl doesn’t even have a clever name, but rather just takes the name of the sponsor. It’s truly awful when that name is the worst pizza chain in the history of mankind. “Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl Champions” sounds like an honor a Pop Warner team would get.
8. Chick-Fil-A Bowl
This sounds more like something that would be in a fat person’s kitchen than it does an athletic contest.
“Where should I put the nuggets, honey?”
“Just toss them in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl.”
7. Meineke Car Care Bowl
Raising awareness about dusty windshields and dirty wheels since 2002. A grateful nation thanks you, Meineke.
Please also note the comically oversize football occupying the entire stadium.
6. Independence Bowl
Though it’s now sponsored by AdvoCare (whatever the hell that is), in America’s hearts and minds, this contest will always be known as the Poulan Weedeater Independence Bowl. It might be the most American thing…ever. Shreveport, Louisiana and weed spray: a powerful synergy.
5. Sun Bowl
Thought it’s now sponsored by Hyundai, I’m positively enamored with the Sun Bowl’s older sponsor, Brut cologne. I have a mental image of a whole stadium of overweight sports fans in the warm El Paso sun, just reeking of Brut. I know that the fans don’t wear Brut, and the sun won’t be that warm in December, but I can dream, can’t I?
4. San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
It’s important that the entire nation know about San Diego County’s wonderful options CD’s and MMA’s. If you like the way the bowl game goes, maybe you’ll move to San Diego and take advantage of the credit union’s amazing customer service. Huh?
Also, the logo looks like it should be on a jar of jam.
3. Texas Bowl
In all fairness, the Texas Bowl is a concept that makes sense. It’s a state with a lot of history, pride, and college football fans. What didn’t make sense is the Texas Bowl’s former name, the EV1.net Houston Bowl. What? That name wasn’t even an improvement on the bowl’s original name, the galleryfurniture.com bowl. Yup, there’s a lot of history at this bowl game.
2. Pinstripe Bowl
Ever since the NHL Winter Classic, it seems as though every sport wants to play games in weird venues. A bowl game in Yankee Stadium is just one such example. Rather than have the fans be seated comfortably near the action, the front rows are about a hundred feet away in some instances.
Most importantly, though it’s not explicit, the fact that “pinstripes” effectively means that the Yankees are an unofficial sponsor of this game makes me sad.
1. Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl
Ding ding ding! We have a winner. I have absolutely no idea what Beef ‘O’ Brady’s is, but a little research tells me that it’s a chain of sports pubs (not Irish gay bars like I guessed) with 240 locations in 23 states. This sponsor embodies my favorite thing about college bowl season: forcing announcers to use ridiculous sponsor names ad nauseum for upwards of three hours. And Beef ‘O’ Brady’s is pretty much the most awful name that anyone could ever dream up.