9 Hottest Female Sports Uniforms
Fortunately for dudes, female athletic gear made for performance is normally tight and there isn’t much of it. So, there are quite a few uniforms from which to pick the cream of the crop, though anything with pads or helmets are automatically disqualified. No one thinks pads or helmets are sexy. They’re dorky, actually. That still leaves a lot to choose from, so let’s get into women’s clothes. Not literally.
These are skimpy little outfits, but it’s the gymnast body type isn’t exactly the one that gets the fellas drooling. If we crammed Megan Fox in one of these things, we might see it appear a little bit higher, but as it is, gymnasts kind look like 12 year-old Jonas Bros. fans. Not a turn-on. And if it is, shame on you.
8. Soccer Shorts
Soccer players are hot, especially when they rip their shirts off, a la Brandi Chastain. Again, soccer uniforms for women could be hotter, so they’re only clocking in at #8. How do you make them hotter? Duh. The same way you make everything hotter. Make them shorter and tighter. This isn’t rocket science. Also, the high socks totally do it for me. All women in athletic should have to wear knee socks. BOOM goes the gavel!
7. Field Hockey Skirts
The closest you can get in the sporting world to Catholic schoolgirls beating the hell out of each other with sticks. Even hotter if they look like they’ve just gotten the hell beaten out of them on the pitch. Plus, those sticks are pretty nice accessories. Pigtails aren’t a part of the uniform for field hockey players, but they should be.
Sports bra and shorts. Yes. Plus, these gals get pretty damn close to naked for the weigh-in, and as I’ve said, every women’s sport should have an element that requires them to undress and get photographed. I don’t know how long I have to keep repeating myself until someone wises up and does it. The fighting outfits could be made sexier if they fought bareknuckle, but there are probably some safety issues associated with that.
5. Golf Shorts
The preppy one isn’t the most popular look among men. Most I know prefer “slutty” or “naked,” but golf outfits do it for a certain segment of the male population. Not for me, but this list isn’t about me. If you get turned on by visors and polo shirts, I’m not gonna judge. Yeah, I am. That’s weird. The shorts are pretty hot, but I’ve never had “chino” at the top of my list of sexy fabrics.
4. Track and Field “Shorts”
These aren’t really “shorts.” They’re glorified bikini bottoms. And the tops need to be aerodynamic, so they’re tight. Really gripping their bodies. Not the worst situation in the world. Mix in that clothing with the steeplechase, where the women run through water, and you’re pretty close to enjoying the entire package.
3. Beach Volleyball
Sand, sweat, bikinis. I don’t need to say much more, but I get paid by the word, so I’ll belabor the point. The women are tan and tall, so they pull the beach bunny look off pretty well. The sunglasses also make them look kind of cool. Then you cover them in sand and oil. Anyone who isn’t on board with this clearly hates beauty.
When the uniform is probably the number one fantasy of men the world over, one would think it would top the list, but I respectfully believe that, while the cheerleader outfit is a dynamite little number, it’s gotten a little played out. Also, it’s been my experience that cheerleaders aren’t as hot as they’re made out to be. That said, tight sweaters and short skirts aren’t something that I need to be sold on.
1. Surfer Gear
Game. Set. Match. The tight, long sleeve surfing top with the bikini bottom. Life doesn’t get much (read: any) better than that. Just add water. Which surfers often do. Without water, surfers are just regular people, only slightly tanner. If you put a surfer chick and a cheerleader side to side (which I really recommend doing, BTW), the surfer girl gets the edge. But just barely. You really can’t go too wrong with any outfit on this list, but the surfer-bikini thing trumps all.