9 Lamest Excuses For Why Your NCAA Bracket Is In Shambles
Well, the first weekend of the 2011 NCAA Tournament is in the books. Now you have to go to work and face your co-workers, who will not let you forget that you are currently in last place in the office pool, right behind the temp who filled out her whole bracket according to the cuteness/scariness of each team’s mascot. But whatever you do, don’t overreact. Yes, the indignity of your current situation is acute, but a lame excuse for that garbage you call a bracket will only make things worse. So with that in mind, here are some examples of what not to say.
9. Dick Vitale
You listened to an exasperated Dick Vitale and selected Pittsburgh and Louisville for Final Four because deep down you sorta thought he knew something about college basketball.
Leonardo DiCaprio and that girl from Juno drugged you on a red-eye from Tucson, broke into your dreams, and incepted a bunch of really crappy picks.
7. Michael Bublé
Didn’t even fill out your bracket because all week you were camping out in front of the KFC Yum! Center in Louisville to make sure you got tickets to the big Michael Bublé concert.
6. Too Busy Reading
Couldn’t spend much time making bracket selections because you needed to finish reading A Tale of Two Cities before Oprah announced the next selection for her book club.
5. Seeds of Doubt
Believed NCAA selection officials would base tournament seeds on careful study of teams’ records, strength of schedule, talent, and coaching.
4. Hooked On Drugs
“I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen.”
Figured that once BYU started suspending players for having premarital sex, their starting 5 would be made up of 3 equipment managers and the 2 players who actually are virgins.
2. Busy Watching “The Bachelor”
Kinda got distracted with whether bachelor Brad Womack would choose Emily or Chantal.
1. MLS Fever
Way too excited about kick-off of 2011 MLS season to really pay attention to college basketball right now.