5 Notorious Sports Groupies

Perhaps “groupies” is too strong a word, considering these girls’ identities don’t exactly hinge on who they date. But “serial athlete daters” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, so let’s run with groupies, no? For one reason or another, these women have found comfort in the arms of athletes, and, strangely enough, not the best ones, either. However, love is blind, you’ve gotta kiss a lot of frogs, etc….

Here are 5 celebs that just can’t seem to resist the jocks.

5. Alyssa Milano

Alyssa Milano has dated a LOT of people, so to call her a sports groupie because she has dated three baseball players might be jumping the gun. But go ahead and label me a gun-jumper.

In addition to dating actor’s Corey Haim, Brian Krause, and a young Justin Timberlake, Milano seems to carry a flame for pitchers, having been linked romantically to Barry Zito, Carl Pavano, and Brad Penny. Nice. These days, she’s married to a non-pitcher, and offers that her days of dating athletes are behind her. One would hope so, considering, you know, she’s married.

Despite swearing off baseball players, she still remains a Dodger fan, but I would keep her a few rows back, just to be safe.

4. Kim Kardashian

The queen bee of sports groupies has a couple notches in her belt. Or bedpost, if you will. Ms. Kardashian has made short work of all these guys in about two years, so maybe we can just chalk it up to being a phase. However, that phase appears ready to end with her engagement to Kris Humphries, a power forward for the Nets. He exists at the (hopefully) tail of a tear that included a lengthy relationship with Heisman winner Reggie Bush and then quickly moved on to Cowboys wideout Miles Austin, then Portuguese football god Cristiano Ronaldo, who almost looks as manufactured as Kim K. does.

What is it that draws her to athletes? Two are famous and two decidedly less so. Is it the attention? Or is she secretly a sports nut? I would guess the former, but, not being a Kardashian Konfidant, I just can’t be sure.

3. Elisha Cuthbert

Hockey girl has seen some action from the likes of Sean Avery and Dion Phaneuf, the current captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs whom she has been seeing for several years. She was at the center of a controversy (if you call Sean Avery being an insufferable dick a “controversy”) when Avery called out her new relationship with Phaneuf, making a comment about Cuthbert being his “sloppy seconds.” Avery’s history of behavioral problems came to a head with this comment, and the NHL suspended him for six games, at the end of which, his team, the Dallas Stars, severed ties with him.

Nonetheless, Cuthbert and Phaneuf seem to be happy, whereas Sean Avery will always be a reviled jerk of WWE proportions.

2. Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson had established herself as a perhaps the most infamous athlete girlfriend in recent memory during her relationship with up-and-coming Dallas Cowboys QB Tony “backwards hat” Romo. During this time she, was labeled a “distraction,” due to the Cowboys’ erratic performance, though she seemed to distract the media and fans a hell of a lot more than the team or Romo.

A staple in the stands during home and most away games, Simpson was eventually compelled to retreat to luxury suites, then to sports bars to watch the games due to pressure from the media.

Her disappearance led to one of Dallas’ ugliest seasons in memory, so maybe it wasn’t Jessica Simpsons fault that the Cowboys weren’t playing well, but it sure was a nice excuse.

Simpson is now engaged to former 49ers tight end Eric Johnson, which gives her the luxury of going out with a football player and not being blamed for ruining a team.

1. Carrie Underwood

Underwood dated Tony Romo before Jessica Simpson and was lucky enough to emerge unscathed from the relationship. Underwood had made a name for herself as a country singer who was crowned the champion of the fourth season of ‘American Idol’. Though she denied ever having a relationship with him, Tony put their status in no uncertain terms on his website, saying bluntly, “…I’m dating Carrie Underwood.” Hard to misinterpret that. However, their romance didn’t last too much longer and in August of 2007, she was dating Zac Efron Sr., also known as Chace Crawford.

In July 2010, Underwood tied the know with Ottawa Senator Mike Fisher. However, like Simpson did with her ex, Underwood faced some hard times after Fisher was traded to Nashville. A local radio station banned her music, implying that she was a factor in his decision to leave. All parties maintain that this wasn’t the case, and the radio station apologized. Good times!